Prepare to dive into the wonderful world of sexual fantasy in this episode.

We'll uncover the prevalence of fantasy in human sexuality and its vital role in exploring desires and boundaries. From understanding the functions of fantasy to exploring popular categories like multi-partner sex, taboo acts, and gender role exploration, we'll provide practical insights and tips for talking about fantasy without tears!

Learn how open communication and shared exploration of fantasies can deepen intimacy and foster more trust and more fun. Join us for a lively discussion on embracing sexual fantasy.

The research we talk about is from Justin Lehmiller https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/?hl=en
He has a book all about fantasy here:
https://www.amazon.com/Tell-Me-What-You-Want/dp/0738234966/ref=as_li_ss_tl?dchild=1&keywords=lehmiller&qid=1611166990&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=lehmillercom-20&linkId=0c99986e1ae7823ed732345dff5bda7e&language=en_US

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

In this episode we welcome erotic author Anna Sansom. We chat to Anna about all things erotic - and how we can get in touch with our own desires through creativity, even when it might feel really challenging. We also discuss her book Desire Lines - part
memoir, part guide to reclaiming our erotic nature.

Anna is a queer cis woman (pronouns: she/her) who is endlessly curious about how we experience and express our unique sexual selves. She started writing erotica over two decades ago, has had a full-length erotic novel published and several short stories in anthologies and online. She has a PhD in occupational therapy and is the co-creator of In Touch with Yourself, a guided journey for women who want to reconnect with their pleasure, sensuality, and sexuality, using creative, playful, and empowering personal practices. She loves drinking tea, swimming in the sea, and talking to her cats.

You can find her at annasansom.com and intouchwithyourself.co.uk, and on Facebook (@AnnaSansomWriter) and Instagram (@Anna_Sansom_Writer).

Anna's Substack is at https://annasansom.substack.com/

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

Endings, though difficult, are an essential part of life. Whether it's a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one, endings can be traumatic. In the podcast we talk about how society often downplays the significance of endings, offering clichés like "plenty more fish in the sea," which fails to acknowledge the pain and complexity of separation.

Research shows that the pain of a breakup can trigger physical responses similar to those of physical injury. Heartbreak is real and can have a profound impact on our well-being. What can we do to support ourselves during these times?

We also talk about conscious uncoupling, as popularized by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin - what is it and how do you go about it?

Recommended resources:

Book: The Wisdom of a Broken Heart - Susan Piver

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to our podcast for more discussions on intimacy and relationships.

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

Welcome to the latest episode of the Intimacy Mattters podcast where we dive into intimacy and relationships.

Highlights of this episode include:

• Sex Frequency: How often is "normal"?
• Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire: Why knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.
• Navigating Differences: Contrary to popular belief, sex can improve with time through exploration, communication, and a shift away from performance-based attitudes.
• Initiation Strategies: We share some playful approaches to help initiate intimacy without pressure.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• NATSAL British Survey of Sexual Attitudes
• David Schnarch's book "Passionate Marriage"
• Good Times Planner (download)

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

In this episode, hosts Nicola and Jason dive into the crucial topic of consent within established relationships. We explore the dynamics of consent using the "wheel of consent" framework, addressing common questions and concerns about ongoing consent. Emphasizing open communication and mutual respect, we reflect on our own experiences with non-consensual touch and discuss practical ways to ensure boundaries are respected.

Consent isn't just a one-time conversation—it's an ongoing dialogue that fosters respect, trust, and mutual understanding within a long term relationship.

We explore how consent impacts power dynamics and resentment within relationships.

We also talk about the "three-minute game" as a practical tool for exploring different aspects of consent within relationships.

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

In this episode Nicola and Jason talk to author and psychotherapist Silva about the myths surrounding 'sex addiction'. It's become a buzzword of late, with celebrities caught in the 'Me Too' movement citing it as a reason for their behaviour. In his book 'Compulsive Sexual Behaviours', Silva challenges the notion that sex can be addictive at all, and provides a pathway towards healing for those who feel they do have a problem.

In this wide ranging talk we'll bust some common misconceptions surrounding sex addiction, look at the limitations of conventional treatments, and explore the role of shame and societal norms in influencing how we see sexual behaviour. We'll also explore the importance of open communication and empathy if you're someone dealing with this in your relationship.

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

Are you tired of the never-ending battle over how to load the dishwasher? 🍽️

Do you and your partner feel like you're constantly at odds? 🤔

In our latest podcast episode, we explore the fascinating concept of polarity in relationships and how it impacts every aspect of our lives.

Join us as we discuss:

• The two types of people who load dishwashers: the precision-driven Scandinavian architect 🏠 and the free-spirited raccoon on meth 🦝
• How pushing each other into polarities can create unnecessary conflict and tension 🚫
• Practical strategies for finding balance in your relationship 💑
• Real-life walk through of how to do a BOTH / AND exercise

Whether you're a newlywed, in a long-term relationship, or navigating the complexities of dating, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable tips that you can apply to your own relationship journey.

Tune in now to learn a brilliant way to enjoy a more harmonious partnership! 🎧✨

Show notes:

Book - Navigating Polarities: https://amzn.eu/d/e9jB6d9

Blog - https://www.realrelating.com/blog/both-and

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.

We're back! After a LONG hiatus (the longest in podcast history?) Intimacy Matters returns. In this episode we tell you some of what's been going on, what will be coming up, and begin with our A to Z of Relating with 'Appreciation'.

Show notes:
Love Languages Quiz:
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

If you're ready to take the next step in deepening your connection, Nicola's course Reigniting Intimacy can be found here at www.realrelating.com/reignitingintimacy

If you'd like to contact us - suggestions for topics, guests, brickbats or bouquets - find us at www.realrelating.com/podcast.