Today's conversation features Lionel Moses—family man, veteran of Desert Storm, coach, and author of The Marriage Seed. We dig into relationship mastery across home and work: self-awareness over blame, trust over suspicion, and communication that lands (not just "gets said").

1. Start with self. Lasting change begins by checking beliefs, tone, and patterns before judging a partner.
   
   

2. Choose trust over suspicion. Misunderstandings shrink when curiosity and clarity lead the interaction.
   
   

3. Weed the garden, consistently. Relationships thrive when small problems are pulled early—over and over.
   
   

• Self-Responsibility > Perfection Hunting (05:52–06:39; 11:11–12:14)
  Timestamp: 05:52 — 06:39
  Why it matters: Recognizing that minds change proves self-knowledge evolves. Extending the same grace to a partner transforms conflict from judgment to teamwork. Perfection tests (ROCD, nitpicking) block real connection; openness creates possibility.
  Notable quote: "If you change your mind, that proves you disagree with your old self… give grace for your partner." (05:52–06:39)
  
  

• Trust Over Suspicion (14:37–15:16; 15:38–16:25)
  Timestamp: 14:37 — 15:16
  Why it matters: Many "communication problems" are interpretation gaps. Filling those gaps with trust, not suspicion, stabilizes connection and keeps dialogue constructive—even after past hurt. Flexing rigid checklists into "openness to possibilities" prevents discarding viable partners for trivial reasons.
  Notable quote: "When you're trying to establish a relationship, you have to really know how to fill in those gaps of misunderstanding with trust versus suspicion." (14:37–15:16)
  
  

• Tone, Pauses, and the Garden Rule (18:45–20:10; 08:06–08:48; 31:00–31:38; 32:34–32:53)
  Timestamp: 18:45 — 20:10
  Why it matters: Tone is a reflex—and often invisible until heard back. Recording and replaying increases awareness, making it easier to shift delivery. Pair this with the "dung grows things" and "measure twice, cut once" mindset: expect mess, pause before reacting, and remove small weeds quickly to protect what's growing.
  Notable quotes:
  • "Most people… don't like their own tone. When they hear it, it annoys them enough to make the change." (19:24–20:08)
  • "One of the best fertilizers you can have is dung." (08:06–08:48)
  • "Measure twice, cut once." (31:00–31:38) + "That's a learned behavior." (32:34–32:53)
  
  

• Boundary + buy-in at work: Relationship habits bleed into teams; clarity and care increase performance. (27:09–29:44)

• Weed therapy: Pull issues up by the roots, repeatedly. (25:52–26:06)

• Win-win-win frame: Healthy partnerships benefit the two people and the world around them. (39:17–39:51)
  

Connections:

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Lionel's Book - The Marriage Seed, Life coaching ot help get out of our own way

Lionel's Website

Today I'm joined by April Davis, founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking—and yes, she's married to a divorce attorney, which gives her a razor-sharp lens on what actually lasts. We dig into modern dating beyond the apps: values vs. chemistry, paradox of choice, readiness, standards, gender roles, and commitment—so real love stops feeling impossible and starts feeling inevitable.

1. Values beat vibes. Chemistry fades; aligned values keep relationships stable long-term.
   
   

2. Choice overload kills connection. The app era fuels paradox of choice and "dating for dismissal." Narrow on what actually matters.
   
   

3. Readiness > checklist. Openness, fair conflict, and commitment predict lasting love more than "perfect" specs.
   
   

• Timestamp: 02:24
  
  

• What it means: Prioritizing values (character, life goals, family, faith, kids) prevents future mismatch that chemistry can hide. This shifts selection from short-term spark to long-term fit—dramatically reducing avoidable breakups.
  
  

• Notable quote (02:24): "Values are something that is core to who you are… you can't see red flags with rose-colored goggles."
  
  

• Why it matters: When values align, everyday decisions, conflict resolution, money, and parenting stay coherent—creating durability instead of turbulence.
  
  

• Timestamp: 11:27
  
  

• What it means: Infinite swiping feeds a paradox of choice and "dating for dismissal," where attention moves to filtering out instead of letting something good unfold. Over-filtering (height, income, micro-preferences) trades possibility for illusion.
  
  

• Notable quotes:
  
  

• • (11:27) "With apps, you have this paradox of choice… 50 shades of gray… dating for dismissal."
    
    

  • (04:20–05:24) "Apps are only good for about 10%… someone swiped 2,000 times to get one date."
    
    

• Why it matters: Reducing noise (3–5 non-negotiable values) turns attention from shopping to connecting, improving follow-through, first-date quality, and momentum.
  
  

• Timestamp: 17:56
  
  

• What it means: A long checklist often masks fear; readiness looks like an open heart, flexible standards, and willingness to be coached. Add fair fighting and commitment to the relationship "third entity," and longevity rises. Modern gender roles (wanting alpha drive plus deep emotional attunement) can become an impossible ideal—so clarity beats fantasy.
  
  

• Notable quotes:
  
  

• • (17:56) "Either they have a loving mindset and an open heart… or they're closed off… and not really ready."
    
    

  • (29:38–30:34) "How you argue… fight fair… commitment to the relationship."
    
    

  • (15:37–17:34) On shifting gender expectations and the "perfect person" myth.
    
    

Why it matters: Readiness turns dates into data, conflict into collaboration, and differences into design choices—key levers for resilient partnership.

Connections:

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Learn more about LUMA

Guest intro:
Mayumi Pachkoski is a U.S.–based aesthetician and energy-healing practitioner who blended Eastern and Western skincare to build a thriving six-figure studio in Maryland. A former flight attendant who pivoted in her 30s, she now helps practitioners grow healing businesses rooted in purpose and service.

1. Leap early; build skills on the way. Use "no-brainer" offers to get in the room and learn from pros. (20:07–22:36)
   
   

2. Let purpose lead the model. When work sits at the intersection of talent, joy, and need (ikigai), consistency becomes easy. (37:26–38:24)
   
   

3. Grow through connection, not discounts. Reward referrers; keep pricing strong; become the story people share. (28:55–31:13)
   
   

• Bold reinvention & "no-brainer" apprenticeships — 20:07–22:36
  What it means: Proximity compounds. Offering flexible, unpaid assisting to a top practitioner compresses the learning curve, reveals real-world systems, and creates industry credibility faster than solo trial-and-error.
  Quote: "You don't have to even pay me… I will clean, vacuum… It's a win-win, a no-brainer offer."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Ikigai as a business operating system — 37:26–38:24
  What it means: Aligning work with what one loves, does well, and what people will pay for transforms effort into enthusiasm; sustainable energy becomes a competitive advantage over hustle-based growth.
  Quote: "Work doesn't feel like a job… I wake up every morning excited about who I'm going to serve. That's ikigai."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Referral engines beat discounts — 28:55–31:13
  What it means: Paying clients (via generous thank-you credits) to advertise outperforms cutting prices for newcomers; it preserves brand value, attracts ideal fits, and turns great results into free marketing.
  Quote: "New clients come with the regular price… but for you, as a thank you for the referral, I give 50% off next time."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Test the move with logistics smarts: Pre-paying six months' rent to secure housing without local job history shows how creative terms remove gatekeeper friction. (10:01–10:32)
  Mayumi
  
  

• Courageous partner talk: Ask the life-defining question early—"What do you really want?"—then build the plan around it. (05:24–06:22)
  Mayumi
  
  

• Permission to start messy: Feeling nothing in early energy-work classes didn't stop the pursuit; the right modality (Access Bars, then Quantum Touch) clicked later. (33:46–35:03)
  Mayumi
  
  

Connections:

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Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
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Learn more about Mayumi
Book a call with Mayumi

Mary Olson-Menzel is a nationally recognized expert in career and workplace success with over 30 years of leadership experience across media, tech, healthcare, and even the NFL. As the founder and CEO of MVP Executive Development, she's coached everyone from Fortune 500 leaders to parents reentering the workforce—helping them find purpose, confidence, and a plan to do what truly lights them up.

In this inspiring episode, we unpack the mindset and tools to thrive through massive change, find your "reason for being," and design work—and a life—that truly lights you up.

1. Change Isn't the Enemy—It's the Invitation.
   Embrace a growth mindset and see disruption as a chance to expand your potential, not fear it.
   
   

2. Find Your Ikigai—Your Reason for Being.
   Align what you love, what you're great at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for.
   
   

3. Dream Beyond 10% and Plan the Leap.
   Most people only imagine small tweaks to their lives; true fulfillment comes from daring to design something radically different—with patience and a plan.
   
   

"Change is happening. What does this mean and how can I grow from it?"
Embracing change through curiosity transforms fear into momentum. Each disruption—AI, layoffs, or shifting industries—becomes a training ground for reinvention instead of resistance.

"It's what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for."
True fulfillment lies in the overlap of passion and practicality. When you design your life around this alignment, you no longer chase success—you embody it.

"If you're limiting yourself to that 10%, you're doing yourself a disservice. There's so much more out there for you."
Most people imagine only small variations on their current lives. Breakthroughs come when you remove your blinders, trust your gifts, and build the courage to act on what excites you.

• "You owe it to the world to love what you do because when you're doing meaningful work, that creates a ripple effect."
  
  

• "Your light is your superpower, but your network is the superhighway that gets you where you want to go."
  
  

"Don't conform. Be you. Own your greatness with quiet confidence."

Today's episode features Rachel Gitlevich, author of What in the Actual Fck: Life's a Hot Mess—How to Find Gratitude Anyways* and founder of Ray of Consciousness. Through her writing and consulting work, Rachel fuses raw storytelling with wellness and strategy, helping people and organizations grow with authenticity. Her story is one of resilience, transformation, and radical gratitude—even in the face of unimaginable challenges.

In this episode, Rachel shares her extraordinary journey through multiple cancer diagnoses, near-death experiences, and the powerful process of reclaiming her life. Together, we explore what it really means to find strength, surrender, and joy when everything falls apart—and how to rebuild from a place of courage and truth.

1. Adversity Is a Wake-Up Call for Alignment
   Hardship can be the catalyst that strips away illusion and reveals what truly matters. Rachel's story shows how pain can crack us open to purpose, presence, and self-compassion.
   
   

2. Healing Requires Both Science and Spirit
   She learned that holistic healing doesn't mean rejecting medicine—it means embracing every form of support available, from faith and therapy to immunotherapy and inner work.
   
   

3. Gratitude Is the Gateway Back to Life
   Gratitude doesn't deny the hard—it invites grace into it. Even in the storm, finding small glimmers of gratitude restores hope, patience, and possibility.
   
   

1️⃣ [04:17–07:29] — The Awakening: When "Holistic" Meets Reality

"I was trying to pretend like this was mutually exclusive rather than inclusive… you need all of it—throw everything into the fire."

Rachel

When healing becomes a spiritual competition, we forget that medicine and mindfulness can coexist. True healing is not choosing between worlds—it's weaving them together.

2️⃣ [11:17–13:50] — From Victimhood to Victory

"Yes, there are so many situations that have been horrible and horrifying… and I'm still here. I'm clearly meant to be here."

Rachel

Finding humor and meaning in suffering doesn't minimize it—it transforms it. Choosing to see life's absurdity as proof of resilience helps reclaim power from pain.

3️⃣ [30:05–32:22] — Riding Out the Storm

"Storms always pass. Maybe you wanted sunshine, but Mother Nature said, 'Not today.' You just have to sit where you are and know the sun will shine again."

Rachel

Every storm teaches surrender. Instead of resisting what's unfolding, staying grounded in the present moment builds trust in life's natural rhythm—chaos, calm, and renewal.

• "It's not about finding gratitude for every little thing—it's about finding gratitude anyway."
  
  

• "Even when it's not okay, it still will be."
  
  

• "We can't stop the waves, but we can learn to watch them—and trust they'll settle."
  
  

Rachel's story reminds us that life rarely unfolds as planned—but within every detour lies the chance to redefine strength and rediscover joy. Whether you're healing, rebuilding, or standing in your own messy middle, remember this: storms pass, gratitude grounds, and reinvention is always possible.

Connections:

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Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful Life
Buy: What in the Actual Fck: Life's a hot mess, how to find gratitude anyways

This week's conversation is all about rewriting outdated scripts and reclaiming intimacy with confidence, connection, and joy. Lauren Elise Rogers—certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy coach—shares her empowering approach to navigating desire, healing from harmful narratives, and reigniting long-term relationships.

With warmth and clarity, Lauren unpacks how to release the scripts that no longer serve, nurture your own sense of pleasure, and bring curiosity back into love. This is a reminder that nothing is broken—you have the right and the power to create intimacy that truly feels like yours.

1. You're not broken—just running an old script.
   
   

2. Pleasure is your birthright, not a bonus.
   
   

3. Curiosity keeps love alive.
   
   

1. Rewriting Sexual Scripts (04:09)

"It's okay to look at them and go, hey, is this really the script I still want to follow? Or do I want to do a rewrite?"

Lauren Racehel

Outdated beliefs about bodies, sex, and roles often sneak in early in life and quietly shape choices. Recognizing them as "scripts" allows you to decide if they still fit—or if it's time for a rewrite. This creates freedom to align intimacy with who you really are today.

2. Healing the Sexual Garden (13:35)

"Some beliefs feel like dandelions we can pull, but some are like soil blight. And yet, a good farmer knows soil blight can be healed."

Lauren Racehel

Deeply rooted shame and negative beliefs can feel permanent, but healing is possible. Just like tending a garden, cultivating intimacy takes patience, sunlight, and nourishment. Seeing it this way replaces shame with compassion and invites long-term healing.

3. Bringing Curiosity Back to Long-Term Love (32:03)

"So many of us have lost curiosity in our long-term partnerships. And there is nothing wrong with wanting surprise, anticipation, or a bit of play."

Lauren Racehel

Long-term safety doesn't have to mean boredom. By discovering personal erotic themes and sprinkling them back into relationships, intimacy can feel exciting again. Curiosity and play are not only allowed—they're essential ingredients for keeping desire alive.

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com
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Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
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Sex For You (Lauren's Website)

Lauren's Podcast

Guest: Elliott Connie — psychotherapist, best-selling author, and global leader in Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).

In this episode, Elliott breaks down how asking the right questions can create powerful shifts in healing, relationships, and life direction. With over 20 years of experience, he shows why focusing on strengths and desired outcomes leads to transformation faster than traditional models of therapy.

1. The questions you ask shape your future.

2. Change begins by focusing on outcomes, not problems.

3. Lasting relationships thrive on reciprocity, not blame.
   
   

1. The Power of Empowering Questions (04:06 – 08:19)
Instead of asking "Why are you here?" SFBT starts with "What are your best hopes from being here?" This reframes therapy from problem-focused to solution-oriented.

"A conversation about difference will lead towards differences. A conversation about problems will lead towards more problems."

2. The Three Life-Changing Questions (12:58 – 15:08)
Elliott introduces three essential questions to break free from stuck patterns:

• Who am I really?

• What do I want?

• Who do I need to become to achieve it?
  Writing these down sparks clarity and subconscious action toward change.
  
  

"You can't stay the same and expect things around you to get different."

3. Relationships and Reciprocity (24:22 – 28:51)
The biggest mistake couples make is waiting for their partner to change first. Elliott emphasizes showing up differently yourself and trusting reciprocity to build momentum.

"Anytime you want something from your partner, that's actually an indicator you're not doing that for them."

✨ Notable Closing Insight:
When trapped in the "someday" mindset, ask:

"Suppose your partner never changes, how would you notice yourself being your very best even then?"

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com
Ready To Create Your Corporate Escape Plan? Book A Call With Me
Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful Life
About Elliott Connie
Change Your Question, Change Your Future
Family Therapy
Aha! Moments Podcast with Elliott Connie