Today in this solo podcast episode, the last one of 2023 and the last one for a few months, I want to talk about letting go of idolizing the past. We cannot move forward, if we insist on focusing on the past. The tendency to retro reach (trying to recapture and relive the past at the expense of the now and the future) is a prescription for unhappiness.

Through a personal, and humorous story, I share how we can get the wrong idea of who God is and proceed with that idea until we find ourselves disillusioned and disappointed. As we move into 2024, letting go of 2023, may we see that each day ahead is ordained by God. And by insisting on finding value only in what is behind us, is a form of disillusion and will lead to disappointment.

I am praying my listeners are ready to let go of the past and not see it as something it is not and probably never was. I pray that many of the stories in these three years of Livin' What You're Given will of benefit in dropping the focus on the past, releasing the years that have come and gone, and paving the way for a healthy way forward.

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Today, I am joined by Ashley Pyles, a Christian Transformational Faith Coach who has spent decades helping women not only strengthen their faith, but also put it into action. There are many reasons why we can stunt our spiritual growth, and one of those is hanging onto the past. In our conversation on Livin' What You're Given, Ashley offers some tools to help us resist this retro-reach posture. She shares from her own experiences how she has learned to release the past and receive the blessings of the future.

Through a three-step process based in scripture, Ashley shares strategies to let go of our past and move into our purpose by changing our thought lives. The gems she shares are for people of all ages and stages as we try to navigate the lives we have been given to live.

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬


1) Forgetting those things which are behind: By choosing to no longer look at it inside of your mind by becoming aware of your thought life and finding closure with your past. How?  Forgive yourself and others and receive God's forgiveness. Do not forget to take note of what have learned.

2) Reaching forward to what is ahead by gaining vision for the future and seeking Jesus. Look at the promises in the Bible and ask to gain a vision for future. How?  By seeking the one who holds the keys into our best future. Seeking can be hard but if we grab a hold of a promise in the Bible, keep it before us and meditate upon it, we have an avenue to leave the past and refuse to look back.
Where there is no vision, people cast off restraint… Prov 29:18

3) Press toward the call (purpose) of God upon your life by believing that God has a purpose for the future seasons. Taking time to hear Him and pressing into the direction He is calling us to will reveal our path forward. 

In addition to these steps, Ashley encourages us to see that as we do this work consistently, we will see our thoughts moving out of the old patterns and into a new thought life of release and receive. She stresses that humility and leaning into Jesus are mandatory.

These strategies and more will be available in Ashley's upcoming book, "Developing Powerful Responses" which will be available in fall of 2023. It's also a 6 week coaching Program that she offers and that will be available in spring of 2024. You can watch for more information on these on her website at the address below.

To reach out to Ashley Pyles, go to https://www.liontribe.net/ https://www.facebook.com/liontribe.net or https://www.facebook.com/ashley.pyles.14

  The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

In this week's episode, which is a solo, I want to share the word "burdens" as an acronym. I think this is particularly important as the holidays are here and we can feel overwhelmed by the expectations we place on ourselves and the expectations we try to meet that are placed upon us by others. The point of this is to demonstrate that it is our choice to allow our own (sometimes unreasonable) expectations and those of others to weigh us down or not. Drawing from seven decades of I want to share how we can be:

 B: Blinded to the blessings around us as we try and try to meet expectations.

U: Undermined by our own hand in moving forward in God's purpose for our lives.

 R: Reaching and reaching for yesterday in the retro reach posture that deceives us into believing all things were once flawless and wonderful.

 D: Dwelling on making sure everyone has their expectations met.

E: Envying what we think others have that we do not.

N: Seeing ourselves as never enough no matter how hard we try.

S: Subtracting the Holy Spirit from the equation and thereby missing what God really wants us to see and enjoy.

 To be burdened by unreasonable expectations of others and ourselves brings us out of joy for the Holiday Season and into a frantic race to fulfill everything but our purpose in being here at all.   I hope you can identify with some of these elements of burdening ourselves and choose to release those burdens to enjoy this celebratory season.

 The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Whoa, the holidays are here already and the pressures can be real. In today's episode, my guest Sue Moore Donaldson, and I explore how to drop some of the baggage around what we expect of ourselves and others when it comes to holiday festivities.

As an author, podcaster and public speaker, Sue uses her own experiences to help us relax around our imperfections. That can be, and often is, the first step in moving through the holidays with less stress and more joy. Through her faith base as a follower of Christ, she encourages us to surrender our own demands on ourselves to God and go with the reality of what is instead of always reaching for what used to be. Having God in the driver's seat of our lives as well as our holidays, we can let go of the outcome, that probably will not be perfect, and just enjoy the activities.

Sue has a great sense of humor and uses that interwoven with wisdom and authenticity to share personal stories and experiences. Very few people do not relate to the types of stories Sue gives us to reflect upon and identify with in our own lives.

She gives some great ideas on how to de-stress our holidays and make them more enjoyable for us and others, including:

Being real by accepting our limitations with time, resources, etc.
Surrendering our will to God (a practice that takes time).
Allowing others to use their own creativity and contribute to the meal or festivities.
Not feeling guilty if we cannot meet the expectations of others.

There are many other  hints on de-stressing  on her website and to connect with her there, just go to https://welcomeheart.com. Have a look at her resources.

And as a special resource for our listeners, she has supplied some valuable information at these links:

https://welcomeheart.myflodesk.com/ecd7a865-232d-4c6d-ae6e-352f0f60334e
https://welcomeheart.com/laura-padgett-sue-donaldson

The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com 

Please note:  This is a re-broadcast of an earlier episode that was taped and aired in 2021. The subject is domestic abuse, and because it is October (National Domestic Violence Awareness Month), I wanted to air this again. The topic follows my September episodes on bullying. Domestic abuse is in fact one of the most commonly seen areas of bullying because it relies upon the unequal power structure.

The dates and times mentioned in this episode are from September of 2021. But the message is one we need to hear often as it is not going away, and in some ways the problems are worse.

 Karen DeArmond Gardner is an authentic voice in the area of domestic abuse, having lived thirty years in a marriage where her husband was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. In this first of a two part interview, she shares what she learned, when she decided to leave but mostly how she, with the love of her family and relearning about the  love of God, began her healing journey. Today she is living a life of freedom in a new marriage of eleven years, and  is helping educate and advocate for those still living in intimate terrorism.

Karen tells of the defining moment when she realized she had had enough and that she needed to get out of the home. She helps us understand what domestic abuse or intimate terrorism really is, why we cannot always recognize it and in what ways the church and society fail women due to distorted doctrine and lack of resources. According to Karen, leaving is just the beginning and not the end of healing from the trauma of an abusive marital relationship.

Tune in as she candidly unpacks the truths, myths and processes in the traumatic time after making the decision to leave. She has written a book that she states is not a how to book. Rather it is a Biblical-based guide to rediscovering the love of God and relearning that He indeed loves us and can be trusted to keep His promises.

The Safe House – Your Safer Place app is on both IOS and Android.

Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God's Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner  available at Amazon.com or on
Another One Free website https://anotheronefree.com


The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

Please note:  This is a re-broadcast of an earlier episode that was taped and aired in 2021. The subject is domestic abuse, and because it is October (National Domestic Violence Awareness Month), I wanted to air this again. The topic follows my September episodes on bullying. Domestic abuse is in fact one of the most commonly seen areas of bullying because it relies upon the unequal power structure.

The dates and times mentioned in this episode are from September of 2021. But the message is one we need to hear often as it is not going away, and in some ways the problems are worse.

 Karen DeArmond Gardner is an authentic voice in the area of domestic abuse, having lived thirty years in a marriage where her husband was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. In this first of a two part interview, she shares what she learned, when she decided to leave but mostly how she, with the love of her family and relearning about the  love of God, began her healing journey. Today she is living a life of freedom in a new marriage of eleven years, and  is helping educate and advocate for those still living in intimate terrorism.

Karen tells of the defining moment when she realized she had had enough and that she needed to get out of the home. She helps us understand what domestic abuse or intimate terrorism really is, why we cannot always recognize it and in what ways the church and society fail women due to distorted doctrine and lack of resources. According to Karen, leaving is just the beginning and not the end of healing from the trauma of an abusive marital relationship.

Tune in as she candidly unpacks the truths, myths and processes in the traumatic time after making the decision to leave. She has written a book that she states is not a how to book. Rather it is a Biblical-based guide to rediscovering the love of God and relearning that He indeed loves us and can be trusted to keep His promises.

The Safe House – Your Safer Place app is on both IOS and Android.

Hope for Healing from Domestic Abuse: Reaching for God's Promise of Real Freedom by Karen DeArmond Gardner  available at Amazon.com or on
Another One Free website https://anotheronefree.com


The website for Stephen Ray Watts and the band Dotsero   https://dotseroband.com

The website to connect with Laura Padgett https://lauralpadgett.com  

"Before you hate, think of Cait." This is the statement that began P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization started by our guest, Maya Haynes, after her teenage daughter Cait completed suicide in 2015.

In the second part of this two-part series on turning the tide on bullying, my guest Maya Haynes and I discuss some of the tools her organization PEER Kindness utilizes to help identify this behavior and take steps to change it. She and her team go into schools and out into communities to share what can be done to identify, intervene and report such behavior.

Talking with students, educators and parents, as well as various entities like churches, she empowers those who are being bullied, those who are watching this and the families dealing with the person who bullies and the one who is bullied. She also shares some insights into why people bully. We discuss the examples many adults display and thereby make bullying behaviors seem acceptable.

She gave one example of being able to help a young man who had been displaying bullying behaviors for many years. They did this by working with equine therapy to teach compassion. This was a turning point for this young man's life as well as his family's. Giving details of resources and services offered by PEER Kindness, Maya emphasizes the need to address all aspects of bullying with coaching, counseling and various therapies depending upon individual and family needs. She also reminds us that we do indeed need each other to accomplish a safer school and community environment for everyone.

We talked, at length, about young people in our society witnessing the way adults treat each other with unkindness and incivility. Then, seeing those behaviors as examples of how to disagree and/or communicate, they put these tactics into practice too. Whether we admit it or not, young people watch and often imitate the behaviors of the adults in their lives. She offers some practical steps to help us return to civility in our interactions as adults, so we can better help our kids to interact with civility in their relationships as well.

 Find out more information about P.E.E.R. Kindness and connect with Maya Haynes, or find resources to start turning the tide on bullying in your area, go to:
https://www.peerkindness.net/

To connect with Laura Padgett, host of this podcast, go to
  https://lauralpadgett.com/

To check out music from April Metzler, go to
https://aprildmetzler.com/home/music

"Before you hate, think of Cait." This is the statement that began P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization started by our guest, Maya Haynes, after her teenage daughter Cait completed suicide in 2015.

I am joined today by Maya Haynes, the mother of a young woman who in her teens completed suicide as a result of being bullied. Sharing from her own experiences during and since that time, she tells us that many of the kids who observed this behavior toward her daughter had reported it, with no results. Therefore, even though they witnessed it, they did not know what to do.

From the voices of her daughter's classmates and other community members, Maya formed P.E.E.R. Kindness, an organization dedicated to helping communities combat bullying behaviors by helping both those bullied as well as those who bully others. They offer tools, education and support to students, teachers, parents and community members who are trying to turn the tide in bullying situations. Her goal is to increase that percentage by helping students feel empowered to stand up for their fellow students.

Maya shares the concerns of students and parents who are asking, "What is bullying, what is not? When do I step in, when do I not? What is normal conflict?" She related a classic example of cruel, repetitive behavior toward her daughter that demonstrates what bullying clearly looks like. While teaching the students what to say and do, she states that 57% of bullying stops when peers intervene by saying, "Stop that. We don't do that here." She wants to increase that percentage. She says that for both the one who stands up and the one who is being bullied, there is a change in the way they see themselves, feel empowered and this can change the culture where the bullying is being perpetrated.

Maya shares many tips and tools in this episode for turning the tide on the bullying epidemic in our schools, communities, country and world.


Find out more information about P.E.E.R. Kindness and connect with Maya Haynes, or find resources to start turning the tide on bullying in your area, go to:
https://www.peerkindness.net/

To connect with Laura Padgett, host of this podcast, go to
  https://lauralpadgett.com/

To check out music from April Metzler, go to
https://aprildmetzler.com/home/music