Let’s get real for a minute—have you ever found yourself thinking, "I have no sex drive," and feeling completely stuck about what to do next? You’re not alone. So many people are struggling with this exact issue, and today, I’m diving deep into why that happens, how it affects your relationship, and most importantly—what you can do about it.

In this episode, I’m joined by Allison Gilbert, co-author with the iconic Dr. Ruth Westheimer on her last book "The Joy of Connections." We’ll explore how a lack of intimacy in your relationship can leave you feeling lost, but we’re also unpacking Dr. Ruth’s brilliant “menu for connection.” It’s full of ways to reignite your bond—not just in the bedroom, but through shared activities, better communication, and ultimately, deeper self-reflection.

We’ll tackle some tough love truths (like the role self-love plays in intimacy), and I’ll share actionable strategies to help you reconnect with your partner, starting today.

[00:00] – Where’s the Spark?
Why so many people feel disconnected from their partners—and how it happens more often than you think.

[00:47] – Dr. Ruth’s Secret Sauce
The first thing to check when your sex drive is gone—your relationship dynamics!

[02:09] – It’s Not Them, It’s You?
The surprising role self-love plays in keeping intimacy alive.

[03:47] – The “Menu for Connection”
Five elements Dr. Ruth swears by to build a richer, more meaningful connection with your partner.

[05:47] – Fun Outside the Bedroom
How activities like pickleball (yes, pickleball!) could reignite the flames of passion.

[08:06] – What’s Really Going On?
Digging deeper: how emotional barriers like resentment might be blocking your connection.

[12:41] – Therapy or Time to Move On?
When it’s time to seek help—or even consider a bigger decision.

[15:41] – You Deserve Better
Dr. Ruth’s empowering message: You deserve happiness, fun, and great sex—don’t settle for less.

[17:16] – Let’s Wrap This Up!
Final thoughts and inspiration to help you take that first step toward a better, more intimate relationship.

Tune in, share your thoughts, and let’s create a life full of love, connection, and fun together!

Xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. ⭐ Ready for more? ⭐
Download my free guide, "Communication that Connects," to start having meaningful conversations that build closeness in your relationship. And don’t forget to join me for this week’s live stream on Thursday at 12 PM MT—we’ll dive even deeper into intimacy and connection. Submit your anonymous questions ahead of time right here!

P. P.S: Who else in your life needs to hear this message today? Forward this episode to them and feel good about being a positive “change agent” in the lives of others. You and I are on the same mission my friend! Xo, L

Where did everyone go?? At some point, many/most adults look up one day to realize that all their old friends have either moved to Austin or are completely buried in #babylife or never-ending home improvement projects… and they have nobody to spontaneously get a beer with on a Tuesday night. Can you relate?

It's not just you. Did you know that, on average, most people lose more friends every year than they gain? Over time, your life can become increasingly lonely unless you’re actively working to build and maintain friendships. But here’s the thing: making new friends as an adult is harder than it sounds. 😅

In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, we dive deep into the complexities of adult friendships with journalist Kelly Stout, who spent a month trying to make just one new friend… and learned some important things that she’s sharing with YOU. From the unexpected emotional hurdles to the surprising lessons about vulnerability and connection, we explore what it really takes to form meaningful relationships in adulthood. 💛

If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness, wondered why your social circle shrinks as the years go by, or just feel stuck when it comes to making new friends, this episode is for you. 🙌

Chapters
00:00 Can Happiness Really Be Found Through Friendships?
00:19 Why Your Friendships Are More Important Than You Think
00:58 Meet Kelly Stout: Her One-Month Quest to Make a New Friend
02:30 What Happens When You Set a Deadline to Make a Friend?
04:58 The Hidden Challenges of Building Friendships as an Adult
12:55 What Actually Defines a True Friendship?
15:40 Friendship Experiments: What Works and What Doesn’t
18:32 Why Opening Up to Others Feels So Scary—And Necessary
22:33 The Biggest Lessons We Learned About Friendship
25:01 When Friendships Feel Fleeting: Why It Happens
25:45 Vulnerability Hangover: Ever Felt It? Here’s Why It Happens
25:56 Turning Points: When You Realize You’re Doing Friendship All Wrong
26:33 Can You Fast-Track Emotional Intimacy? Let’s Find Out
27:18 Why We Gravitate Toward People Just Like Us—And What to Do About It
27:45 Discovering the Power of Friendships with People Who Are Different
28:19 The Comfort and Complexity of Long-Term Friendships
29:53 Bumble for Friends: Can You Really Make Friends on an App?
32:01 How Internalized Shame is Holding You Back from Friendship
34:03 The Reality of Keeping Friendships Alive as an Adult
43:57 Why We Crave Community—and How to Build One
47:01 Modern Loneliness: Why Life is Designed to Keep Us Isolated
53:44 Final Reflections: How to Create Real Friendships That Last

💡 Learn how to overcome the struggles of making friends as an adult and build a community that brings joy and connection back into your life.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: I think you and I should be friends! Come hang out with me on a Thursday live stream! Mark your calendar right now, it's at 12pm MT / 2pm ET on my Instagram, Youtube, and Facebook. This week we're talking about friendships. If you have a question or conundrum related to this, here's the link to ask in advance: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. Be sure to subscribe/follow so you get updates and recaps!

P.P.S. As promised in this podcast, here's the link to grab your totally free and VAST collection of all my best articles and podcasts on the subject of healthy relationships. I made it for YOU.

Could you be accidentally and unintentionally DESTROYING your relationship? Pro tip from a marriage counselor: Many, many people are... and literally have no idea.

I think I know why. Everyone with an Instagram account is posting things about what they think you should do to have a great relationship—communication tips, romantic date ideas, etc.—but let’s be real... sometimes, it's more important to know what NOT to do! And nobody talks about that!!

That’s why today, we’re flipping the script on the usual relationship advice you hear. 💥

In this episode, we’re breaking down the 12 Most Effective Ways to Destroy Your Relationship (so you can avoid them like the plague).

Trust me, as a marriage counselor, I’ve seen it all. Whether it’s neglecting your partner or constantly blaming your “issues” when you behave badly, even the strongest couples can unknowingly make these mistakes. But don’t worry, I’m not here to throw shade—I'm here to help you laugh, learn, and most importantly, grow! 🌱

By the end of this, you’ll not only recognize these pitfalls, but also walk away with actionable tips to make sure you’re NOT sabotaging your love life. 🙌

Here's what you'll learn: ⏱️

00:00 Intro: The 12 Biggest Relationship Mistakes

02:36 Mistake #12: Making the Relationship ALL About You

04:36 Mistake #11: Blaming Everything on Your Issues

08:26 Mistake #10: Neglecting Your Partner (The Silent Killer)

11:20 Mistake #9: Too Much Togetherness (Yikes!)

And all the way down... to the number one biggest relationship killer!

💬 Let’s talk: Have you fallen into any of these traps? What’s one mistake you’re guilty of? Drop a comment on Instagram @drlisamariebobby —I’d love to hear from you!

AND if you want to get my perspective on some not-so-fantastic things that might be happening in your relationship (and how to make it stop) join me on Thursday for a live stream on this topic! Use this link to ask your Q and get reminders to join on Thursday at 12 pm MT / 2pm ET. https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa

If you're feeling like, "uh oh" after hearing this... you're not alone! I’ve helped thousands of couples turn things around, and you can too. 🌟

Xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

💡 PS: If you're ready to start working on some positive new communication tools after hearing about the not great ones, check out my FREE training, “Communication That Connects” — it’s packed with tools to help you strengthen your connection and communicate like a pro!