Episodes

  • What a Lovely Corpse You Have
    Mar 17 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For

    I am TG Wolff and this is a podcast where Jack and I combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will by my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance, meant to be heard.

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book, Widow's Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com.

    Today's story is about a funeral, a flock of robins, and a drop with just a little catch. This is Episode 1: What a Lovely Corpse You Have.

    ********

    SPONSOR: A Grifter's Song from Down & Out Books. Sam and Rachel may not be the kids they once were but what they've lost in youth, they made up for with experience. Grifters, they've carved out a life taking what they can without consideration for their marks. It seems to me a little thought might have saved them a whole lot of trouble. Now grifting isn't a choice, it's the only way to stay ahead of the mob. This bundle of novellas follows Sam and Rachel across the US as they jump from frying pan to fire. Created and edited by Frank Zafiro, A Grifter's Song, Seasons 1 and 2, are available from Down & Out's website, upon request from your favorite independent bookseller, and from on-line retailers. https://downandoutbooks.com/bookstore/grifters-song-s1-subscription/

    ********

    That's it for this first episode of Mysteries to Die For. If you enjoyed our twist on storytelling, help spread the work by telling a friend or leaving a review. For less than the price of Diamond's 1970s vintage sunglasses, you can join our Body Bag Brigade to help support the show. Learn more at tgwolff.com/mysteries-to-die-for.

    Mysteries to Die For was written by TG Wolff. Music and Production was by Jack Wolff. Widow's Run was written by TG Wolff, edited by Chris Rhatigan, and published by Down & Out Books. Cover art by Shannon Leahy.

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    38 mins
  • Pump This, Jack…or is it Pump This Jack
    Mar 27 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and editor. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard.

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode picks up from episode 1. If you haven’t listened, you might want to start there to meet the players and set the stage. Really, today’s episode won’t make sense without it. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes.

    To recap, we met Diamond at her own funeral. She had faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Her funeral was interrupted by a leather-clad, f-bombing blast from her past named Sam Irish. She met her contact, Ian Black, to get the information he acquired for her. But first, he needed her to do a little job for him. We join Diamond as she leaves the funeral.

    Today’s story is about a king, unlikely friends, and quinoa. This is Episode 2: Pump This, Jack or is it Pump This Jack

    Characters previously introduced...

    Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.

    Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist determined to feed the world. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.

    Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.

    Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.

    Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.

    Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist of the medical variety. Diamond’s brother-in-law.

    *******

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    47 mins
  • Bonus: Diamond's Theme
    Apr 3 2020

    Read the episode subtitle. Written and performed by Jack Wolff. Cover art by Shannon Leahy.

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    18 mins
  • Wanted: Sophisticated Slut, Must Have Three-Inch Heels
    Apr 10 2020

    I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and editor. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard.

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode builds from the previous 2. Really, you have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the first episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

    To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, between a carjacking and a serenade, Diamond discovered the quinoa her scientist husband had locked in a bank box the day before his death. Interested is a big agriculture lobbiest, who just became suspect #1. We join her now as she is blackmailed into doing a little favor for a friend. 

    Today’s story is about a cheater, disappointments, and direction. This is Episode 3: Wanted: Sophisticated Slut, Must Have Three-Inch Heels.

    Characters introduced so far

    • Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.
    • Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.
    • Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.
    • Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.
    • Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.
    • Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law.
    • Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him. 


    Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books who is having a social distancing sale! Liars, thieves, and murders keep you company while flesh and bone people have to stay 6-feet away. 39 titles provide options for every taste. Go to down & Out books.com for titles and pricing. Look for

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    48 mins
  • First Stop, Hell
    Apr 24 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard.

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode builds from the previous 2. Really, you have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the first episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

    To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, she flushed out game for Ian Black in exchange for the information that would provide answers. Instead all she got was questions. What happened to her husband’s notebook? Who was the woman he was last seen with? What was he doing outside the hotel that night? The path to the answers go through Rome.

    Today’s story is about turkey sandwiches, birthdays, and unexpected house guests. This is Episode 4: First Stop, Hell.

    ************************************************

    Characters introduced so far

    Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.

    Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.

    Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.

    Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.

    Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch

    Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.

    Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law.

    Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him.

    *******

    Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books The featured new release is Some Awful Cunning by Joe Ricker. Ryan Carpenter is an underground relocation specialist who helps people escape the danger of their life and start over. After agreeing to help the young wife of a Texas oil baron relocate her stepson to escape criminal prosecution, Ryan learns more than he wants to about the oil baron, his wife, and the stepson.

    Haunted by his own forced relocation, Ryan betrays his client and is forced to scramble for his life, which only puts him face to face with the childhood past he’s been trying to escape his entire life. His flight brings him from Albuquerque,...

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    43 mins
  • Grieving Widow Seeks Husband-Seducing Biotch
    May 8 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes (unless it's really bad)

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode builds from the previous episodes. Really, you have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the first episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

    To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, Diamond had her sights set on Rome, the place of Gavriil’s death, but was sidetracked by an interloper who raided her refrigerator. With Andrew Dixon safely away from his abusive father, Diamond can finally, finally catch that plane to Italy.

    Today’s story is about a lion, 15-letter words, and a room key. This is Episode 5: Grieving Widow Seeks Husband-Seducing Biotch. 

     *******

    Characters introduced so far

    Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.

    Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.

    Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.

    Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.

    Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch

    Carlo Giancarlo. Diamond’s Italian translator and partner in crime.

    Dr. Quili Liu. Gavriil Rubchinsky’s successor, a Chinese-born, nerd-scientist who also loves quinoa.

    Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.

    Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law.

    Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him.

    *******

    Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books The featured new release this week is Pushing Water by Dana King. Just because Penns River is an economic backwater doesn’t mean it’s immune from current events. An active shooter at a local discount store leaves several people dead and the shooter in the wind. Maybe. It’s hard to say as the man arrested at the scene definitely shot someone but claims to be a Good Guy with a Gun.

    Meanwhile, a Canadian fugitive lands in town and pulls a job to tide him over while his cache of cash makes its way across the border. He and his partner—a local just dumb enough to serve a purpose—see an opportunity and begins a robbery spree while the police focus on clearing the mass shooting.

    The usual small-town hijinks go on: There’s a robbery in the new strip club, an old woman wanders off, a domestic situation that starts as an...

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    43 mins
  • How Do You Say "Busted" in Russian
    May 22 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes (unless it's really bad, then he makes me start all over again.)

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode builds from the previous. You have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us from there. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

    To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, Diamond arrived in Rome, Italy and met with a statuesque woman harboring security footage of that fateful night. Liberating the footage was easy, watching it was another story. Two surprises emerged. First, another nerd-food scientist, Francisco Thelan, died the same night as Gavriil. And, second, before his death, Gavriil had given another woman his room key.

    Today’s story is about gibberish, a cheap skate, and a notebook. This is Episode 6: How Do You Say “Busted” in Russian?

     ***********************************************************

    Characters introduced so far

    Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.

    Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.

    Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.

    Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.

    Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch

    Carlo Giancarlo. Diamond’s Italian translator and partner in crime.

    Ilsa Duma-whatever. Russian-born Italian bookseller. Totally did not seduce Gavriil.

    Francisco Thelan. Another nerd-scientist specializing in food. Also dead. Died same night as Gavriil.

    Dr. Quili Liu. Gavriil Rubchinsky’s successor, a Chinese-born, nerd-scientist who also loves quinoa.

    Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.

    Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law.

    Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him.

    **************************************************************

    Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books. The featured new release this week is Cold Water by Tom Pitts.

    After a miscarriage, a young couple move from San Francisco to the Sacramento suburbs to restart their lives. When the vacant house across the street is taken over by who they think are squatters, they’re pulled into a battle neither of them bargained for. The gang of unruly...

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    38 mins
  • Where Does an Elephant Hide the Evidence?
    Jun 5 2020

    Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes (unless it's really bad, then he makes me start all over again.)

    This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

    Today’s episode builds from the previous. You have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us from there. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

    To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, Diamond arrived in Rome, Italy and met with a statuesque woman harboring security footage of that fateful night. Liberating the footage was easy, watching it was another story. Two surprises emerged. First, another nerd-food scientist, Francisco Thelan, died the same night as Gavriil. And, second, before his death, Gavriil had given another woman his room key. Her teenaged cyberlord, Andrew Dixon, unearthed the name and address of the woman suspected of being Gavriil’s lover, Ilsa Duma-whatever. A friend of Gavriil’s sister, Ilsa had shared only books with Gavriil. His notebook had gotten mixed in with her books. When she discovered it two days later, she attempted to return it, only to discover Gavriil had died. With the notebook now in her possession, Diamond turns to the other piece of information Dixon found—the license plate number of the car that killed her husband/

    Today’s story is about family, the price of secrets, and a business deal gone wrong. This is Episode 7: Where Does an Elephant Hide the Evidence?

     *******

    Characters with episode of introduction.

    Lead characters:

    Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission. (E1)

    Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond. (E1)

    Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime. (E1)

    Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him. (E1)

    Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch (E4)

    Mystery characters:

    Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out. (E1)

    Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law. (E2)

    Dr. Quili Liu. Gavriil Rubchinsky’s successor, a Chinese-born, nerd-scientist who also loves quinoa. (E2)

    Buford Winston. Blow hard leader of the super-lobby Ag Now! who is funding the quinoa research. (E2)

    Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him. (E3)

    Carlo Giancarlo. Diamond’s Italian translator and partner in crime. (E5)

    Francisco Thelan. Another nerd-scientist specializing...

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    31 mins