Identity is not a destination but a journey, especially for transracial adoptees. In this Episode we are diving into the conversation around transracial and transcultural adoption. I am honored to host Patrick Samuel Young Armstrong, a multifaceted individual, a podcaster, speaker, creator and a new father. Patrick's journey as a Korean-American, transracial and transcultural adoptee is a profound exploration of identity and acceptance. From a childhood marked by rejection to a transformative awakening at 30, Patrick's story is one of reclaiming and embracing his heritage and humanity all while fostering community within the adoptee and Asian American realms. Join us for a heartfelt conversation with Patrick.

Shownotes:

• Patrick’s first childhood memory

The circumstances surrounding his birth in Korea, and the subsequent adoption to Indiana at just three months old

• Patrick shares his recent efforts to connect with his birth mother and the unexpected developments in that search, shedding light on the emotional and personal challenges of tracing his roots
• The unexpected news from the adoptive agency and what followed.
• Why Partick wrote 40 letters to his birth mom.
• What happens when the protective layers we've built are stripped away, revealing an emotional void? Patrick discusses the tension between control and agency on the adoption journey
• The complex emotions of becoming a father for the first time. Reflecting on seeing his DNA in his child
• The tools and coping mechanisms that have been essential in navigating these life changes, including the crucial role of therapy
• Patrick shares about his first 30 years of navigating life as an Asian American adoptee in a predominantly white community. Growing up in a colorblind household, experiences of subtle and overt racism were often minimized or dismissed by family members, leading to internalized rejection of identity.
• The profound impact of rejection, particularly in the context of adoption, and how it shapes personal identity and emotional well-being. We reflect on the lack of historical research on adoption and the misconception that adopted children will seamlessly integrate into their new families.
• Patrick’s turning point triggered by a scene in the movie "Always Be My Maybe"
• Patrick shares about his journey of self-discovery and embracing his heritage and identity.
• The multifaceted nature of the foster care system ranging from loving homes to systemic issues that undermine the foster kids experience.
• The emotional and transformative journey of personal growth and mutual support between Patrick and his adoptive mother.

Connect with Patrick!

Instagram: @patrickintheworld

Podcasts:

1. The Janchi show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-janchi-show/id1529913015
2. Conversation Piece: https://www.conversationpiecepod.com/
3. Check Other

Studies:

“Too Korean to be white and too white to be Korean” :

https://www.holtinternational.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Too-Korean-to-be-White.pdf

The adoptee consciousness model:

https://intercountryadopteevoices.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/adoptee-consciousness-model.pdf

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Facebook: @mixunderstoodpod

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Contact:

Email: mixunderstoodpod@gmail.com

Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com

Patreon!

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In this Episode we're spotlighting Shola Oz, the author of the children’s book “I am whole”

Growing up as a first-generation immigrant in the bustling and diverse city of London, Shola learned early on to embrace and celebrate people from all walks of life.

Shola's path to authorship was anything but conventional. Motivated by the lack of positive representation for mixed-race children, she was inspired to write "I Am Whole" after persistent, rhyming lines kept appearing in her dreams. This passion project transcended her immediate circle, resonating particularly in the US, and underlining the global hunger for inclusive narratives.

Inspired by raising her own multicultural and mixed-race daughter, "I Am Whole" aims to take away the focus on color and identification with one culture over another by focusing on language, family and traditions.

join us as we dive into Shola's personal journey and the heartwarming stories from her mixed family, From navigating the pressures of conforming to beauty standards in a predominantly white corporate world to embracing her natural hair, Shola's story is one of empowerment and self-acceptance. We explore the cultural significance of Nigerian naming traditions and the heartfelt desire to reconnect with her roots. Shola's journey is a testament to the power of authenticity, resilience, and the importance of celebrating one’s identity.

Show notes:

• Three fun facts about Shola - Horror, Thai & Moulin Rouge…
• Shola’s unexpected inspiration for her Children’s book
• Insights from “I am whole book” which focuses on embracing multiple cultures through language, family, and traditions rather than solely on skin color
• The experience of writing a children's book for mixed-race kids by a mother who is not mixed race herself.
• Shola’s personal experiences in an interracial and intercultural relationship, highlighting conversations about race and micro-aggressions with her Italian English husband.
• Shola’s mixed family experience in England vs Ital.
• Shola’s experiences as a black woman in London vs Overseas.
• Shola shares about what she did to assimilate as a Black woman in the corporate world particularly the pressures to conform to certain beauty standards.
• Why did Shola change her daughter’s name when she was 2 years old.
• The meaning behind her daughter's name.
• The cultural significance and traditions surrounding naming ceremonies in Nigerian culture, particularly for twins.
• Shola’s sense of home vs her mother’s sense of home as a Nigerian immigrant.
• Writer’s block and Hanna-Lee’s pitch for a second book.
• Shola’s book recommendations
• A special impromptu song from Shola…

Find Shola Oz:

@Iamwholebook

Email: iamwholebook@gmail.com

https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Multi-Racial-Childrens-Celebrating-Diversity/dp/183834330X

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Contact:

Email: mixunderstoodpod@gmail.com

Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com

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In this episode, I chat with sisters Kim Serena and Mareike Matthies. Raised in Munich, they now navigate the challenges of intercultural family life, with partners from Venezuela and Italy, bringing a rich mix of languages and cultures into their homes. Through their project, "A Couple of Cultures," Kim and Mareike help other intercultural couples by sharing personal stories and professional tips on raising bilingual kids and blending different cultural backgrounds.

Kim and Mareike stress the importance of communication and tolerance in maintaining harmony in multicultural families. They also offer practical tips for nurturing strong dual cultural identities in children, providing valuable lessons for anyone living in a multicultural world.

Show notes:

• Introduction to Mareike and Kim
• 3 Fun facts about Mareike and Kim
• How the German sisters met their husbands from Italy and Spain and the moves they made to make the intercultural relationship work.

• Taking change and potentially transient lifestyle in multicultural families.
• Being aware of the roles that each partner plays if you happen to be living in the home Country of one of the partners and making a conscious effort to perhaps switch up those roles and move to another country for a chapter.
• Growth and balance in a relationship.
• The culture that you create as a couple.
• Working together to make sure that the needs of each partner are met.
• Local vs global community and how both are important. People that will understand your multi cultural lifestyle demands and needs as well as local friends.
• Long-distance travel with young children
• ​​The importance of preemptively discussing big questions such as language, religion, and the involvement of grandparents. Avoiding judgment and valuation in everyday parenting, particularly when it comes to advice from grandmothers with their own cultural biases
• The intricacies and challenges of raising children in a multicultural household.
• Making the most of an intercultural partner in the sense of challenging why you do things the way you do. Asking yourself if doing things a certain way is a conscious choice or just an automatic thing your culture does. Doing this gives you the option to choose how you want to do things and being exposed to your partner's culture can give you more options.

• Communication - Debriefing after the event - What happened? Why did you react that way? And that way learning to decipher where the behavior is coming from - Personality, parents, environment, culture etc..
• The sisters share funny anecdotes from their multicultural family life

Patreon!

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Mareike and Kim:

https://www.acoupleofcultures.com

Instagram: @acoupleofcultures

Follow Mixunderstood!

Instagram: @mixunderstoodpod

Facebook: @mixunderstoodpod

Twitter/X: @Mix_understood

Tik Tok: @mixunderstood.pod

Contact:

Email: mixunderstoodpod@gmail.com

Music by Mathias Kunzli www.mathiaskunzli.com

Patreon!

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