Episodios

  • Xochil. // No Chill.

    Xochil. // No Chill.
    Sep 29 2024
    They're gripping at straws to make me look and feel crazy which can only mean— He's losing his power. Hopefully he's expecting another baby. Hopefully, for the ba's sake and its mother, it's not a little girl. Even my big and strong boy might be irreversibly damaged at the hands of a psychotic narcissist with anger problems—and though surely he had tried to kill me any way he could, I had survived. Now, the tables had indeed turned in my favor. With enough time, the truth would be revealed not only to those above, but to all who knew us; I hadn't lost my mind at all, only finally found a pair of eyes that could see the world around me that they did not like—and a pair of legs to run away from it. The first time my ex husband actually hit me— he had snapped, and though there had been other counts of shoving,heavy handed close calls and other questionable events in the years leading up to this, it had never been what it turned out to be his fist actually connecting with my face— not just once, but several times over and over until something got in the way— even years later, I didn't know what, but maybe just that I had stopped moving, or struggling to get away. “Play dead.” Maybe he thought I was dead—or maybe I was. Everything since in the nearly eight years after seemed an inescapable and hellish nightmare—inescapable, that is, from him. Or, from “it.” The thing that had tried to kill me That even after assuming an entirely new identity and seperate life, this dirty, lazy, disgusting and altogether unllpleasant energy seemed to follow me everywhere—and worse—this energy seemed to crawl into the other humans surrounding me, and like a parasite, never letting go. I wanted to die as much as anything just to never be reminded of him again. My thriving and success would make him look like a fool— more of one, anyhow, and either way— his jealousy of my life without him made it obvious how little and weak he actually was, though not on purpose, and, in some ways—many small ones, I had succeeded. Suddenly, everything became battlegrounds—fighting for my life as if somehow I were still in my abusers presence and grips—the devil in him seeking me out in the world as if I had deserved it in the first place. No one really deserves to die like that/- Especially not in front of their children. Now at least I knew he had no power alone, but that what one would The Devil itself often lived inside of the weak—weak in spirit, weak minded. Feeble and malleable, often fat and lazy people, it had become obvious— that people were the tools for this force to deplete the light and kindness, the good spirit and soul's purpose of others. I had forgiven him, but something indeed had rotted away the core I thought once shared into a blackened depth if awful waste—the things about him belonging to a world I wished never to see or be part of. I had grown, and changed—and I was sure with time so had he; perhaps not, but I couldn't know and wouldn't want to, wishing only for the best for anyone's sake. But this thing that seemed to follow me was a pitiful, screaming l and evil thing—I had let go with the consistent reminders of the permanent scars left in the crevices of my lip, and on my face—and though an entire child and perhaps several women between us, his need vengeance that I had left must have been mad, as the sweltering parasitic welt that riled up with enough fierceness to crawl into other sunken bodies, and surround my every waking moment. Not his power, at all, but a greater force of evil—the evil of all mankind—Satan himself seemed to have chosen me as his prey, my abuser as the illusion of conception. There for I, There for I, There for I, None! As truth did shatter mine ever being, And also Ever person near WHO VALIDATED THAT BITCH'S PARKING. —you think she drove here?! —if she did it would be on a broomstick. Goddammit. Get her out of here! Out! I said! You're…not a fan of Fallon's, are you. No, I'm not. (No—God, no.) Well, why not? First of all, he winks at people. ;) *cringe* Like, off camera. JIMMY O'FALLON And I want damages. Damages?! Damages. He's seeking damages?! To what. JIMMY O'FALLON Like, my entire—everything. Damages to everything. My entire life! Ah. [The Festival Project ™] I've got to admit, being sued hy Jimmy Fallon is probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened in the entirety of this series! What about that thing with Skrillex. (That was pretty exiting.) Which thing with Skrillex? All the things with Skrillex were pretty exciting. (Admittedly, yes.) Then there was Dillon Francis. I hate Dillon Francis. Exactly. Why! Because he excited you. Next question! Ahead. Yo. I finally get to link up with Supacree. You're a mess. Everything is a mess. The world is a mess. ...
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    1 h y 58 m
  • {No Chance}

    {No Chance}
    Sep 29 2024
    We're going somewhere else. What does that mean? Somewhere else! You know why I hate you, Fallon? Fuck. I gotta find Fallon. Places [The Festival Project ™] I should know why… —because you are good at everything you do. I always was. What can I say? Nothing. Shut up. That's your job. I don't have a job. Oh, that's right. That's right. [Fallon seems slightly intimidated, but nevertheless, cocky—bold and arrogant as always—and of course— —smug. ] {Enter The Multiverse} The older the wiser— The bigger the better The taller the whiter The richer the further you are From the life that you want Typically, typically Oh, there you go again For Richer for poorer Old Haunts with old souls it's, No wonder you dissaolved on the Revolving door When it's all the same concious thought That you walked all of your dogs To the mall in The same four thoughts The same It must be getting dark The souls are seeming more Forgotton Spirits wandering Here are you now Here I Nigga drinking money No one ever noticed We must be one in the same, Since I ain't g/have /give a damn God, thank you God. I told you, I love New York. Who doesn't? The poor… —Broken. On God, On train All four On one On God 4 train 6 stops Cause I got Money Power cut off I just came back from Whole Foods market I hate shopping Fact Artifacts Don't ever stop recording Even when you want to I might look broke But I got money. I'm worth it Dot dot dot doe Don't keep me waiting I'm wanting to hear from you Wading, wading. I'm fading away I'm fading away I am fading away, l— I am fading away I see a whole ass love story. Super synthesis you ought to draw that Sitting right across the devil Sitting right across the four corridors of summer sworn nonsense I wrote two novels four summers I took two photos, on vortex I took two sworn oaths, far side Master, mortar Brick and— I love New York now, But order, My far mind Gone in the antelope Wind and the demon ways On, but you severed this tie I loved him But could not Quite trust Blue eyes, God I love him. Two minds now, One goes the course, One goes the other route Same and semi, Sometimes never Someday never comes, When you can't stop crying On God, I lost you Ten minutes to count Ten minutes of fame, And again it all adds up The stopwatch loops around again as if Nothing ever mattered to keep track of I found you here, The way it went I left you there And then, infinite I caught a glimpse as if Something had shined across my back There, master, Same slave I always reckoned I never Coming from others, Therin just a wince Just a tip for a chance Of harsh breaths I recon still No-ordinary-love.co How much is that gonna hurt Like a lot l'm assuming Same as always Same as always ‘ Same as always Are you ever on time, or just— Kind of by it? Are you biased or just a front for more wartime? Warcrimes. Let's bury that in a shallow place of my mind. The deeper the whole, the root it had gave The shower of shame and grandiosity Wishing you were there Wishing you were here Wishing you were For me Out, the arrow. It will by now come around again Arousing shaeffer, nearer aggrandized Which one are you now! My story has come One another Again Both things Never entered Never shattered I am now We are as one Again as the other The shame in your heroine Give God a hard shout; Are you sure about coming forward, or not inbound Shattered Collapsed Chaos in the wind Never made it home on time Are you There you are in a straight line Come now, give wind Give something other than Your love for once Give money Bet it all, God. Who you want it's an apostrophe I ain't got no apology Apology I ain't got no apology Apology —Atrocity. —Philosophy. —Psychology. Delicate staccatos at the stop sign || Cross the walk to superstardom {Enter The Multiverse} Man, I don't know why I fuck with you. You're like the Drake of comedians. Drake is the Drake of comedians. Faded parallels Cross intersections of time collapsing Infrequent mantras Gates of Heaven open, And then closed again Nearer and then father Calling out to no one Home you nearer, nothing Push you back with tied hands I swear The ring finger on him A lie like Pinocchio nose And every time he think about me It grows back I put my head in a noose, Dueceas, confusion Loose lips and bruises Just remember, I didn't choose this You did Black boy fly, Your mom says hi Every time I see a motherfucker wanna cry Almost, Still don't want clout I just moved out Alcohol, boo— mow I mean meow. I'm a cat I called you ten times. Call me back! Sitting waiting on your text It's been 48 hours, I'm still undressed Ach— Uh, bless you S on my chest, finna ...
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    1 h
  • greenlit.

    greenlit.
    Sep 29 2024

    I won't take anti depressants on purpose—

    But the ones I took by accident kind of helped

    I can't tell if this is funny or not.

    Dangeous

    Cause

    He's just

    So easy to look at

    I could never stay mad at him

    The kind of guy that

    Makes my

    Heart skip a beat

    and the world start over

    He makes me want to mother him

    He makes me want to

    Stop talking

    My name is Gene Wilder.

    It's been a long time since I've used this technology; surely I thought it would be dead.

    I broke the seal.

    So what do you want? Candy?

    Does it look like I eat candy to you?!

    It looks like you invented candy.

    (I don't know if that's an old joke, or a fat joke.)

    Both, be quiet.

    [The Festival Project ™]

    The first person I thought about was Dr. Dre this morning.

    Not last night, but the night before,

    I had a dream about Barack Obama.

    No.

    I'll telling you, you don't have a choice.

    What is this.

    Be quiet.

    What are you watching.

    I don't know.

    What show is this?!

    Be quiet.

    [The Festival Project.™]

    The Complex Collective ©

    COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

    -Ū.
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    24 m
  • INWARD.

    INWARD.
    Sep 24 2024

    Today I found out that I never lost my mind at all.

    I found pictures of my car the day I bought it

    Not a dent, not a scratch; I found the pictures of the condition the apartment used to be in when I returned from work—I found the pictures with my friends that reminded me that I had once had them—pictures with my baby reminding me of how much I loved him and that I had cared for him well. I had almost believed my abuser's own accounts of what had happened to me over my own, because as it so seemed the world had chosen to side with him— but indeed, Google images had the entire story written for me from start to finish, and though each picture was well worth over one thousand words— the years had been documented well enough in photos to show that supacree was indeed a hero after all.

    —and I missed her.

    I straight up told you I control this robot bitch.

    It was Frankincense, and not sage

    And so all of a sudden

    The trip to Manhattan

    Became a field day

    True colors are shown

    Blue eyes have never been meaner, and I mean

    It don't matter what you look like—

    It's the inside that can't be trusted.

    Said.

    Don't make me lie to me

    Like I could lie to you

    Instead to calm a lover

    Never half sought

    But left upon the doorstep

    If someone allowable,

    Better yet,

    Heretell exciting news

    And distance captured

    Further between us than there ever was

    The mind that spoke,

    The dusk that only choked on

    Solomon, hart for words

    Lie to a friend

    And lie to the mother, a fraud

    And a scandal

    A cap and a gas can

    Remember the cap?

    How could you

    So broke the only words once spoke on were mortar

    No brick at all so the whole wall shattered

    Kellogg for breakfast brands,

    Spent seeing and scatterbrained,

    You are now mine,

    As time has fallen on to us,

    For our lands had not been yourn at her tides

    For nothing washed ashore but dollars

    Dirty by the hands of hatred lasts, four score years,

    Ride broke,

    Sun lasts,

    Leverage not, star bound

    Hurt I none

    Said disembarked, shadow,

    Come now, dear shadowland

    I am puppet master,

    And also hang upon strings,

    I Am.



    Can somebody,

    Anybody tell me why

    Every time I see that poster

    I almost start crying.

    Not just a little—

    But a lot.

    Not so much an ugly cry,

    But a mean cry—

    As if I lost something—

    And how I didn't mean for any of this to happen

    But it did anyway,

    And I still don't know all what for.

    There must still be something left to write about him

    Or something

    Because

    —someone tell me why—

    Anybody at all

    Tell me why

    Even though I don't want to

    I still see little pieces of that in everything

    As if they belong to maybe like,

    The pieces of me I lost, or something;

    And tell me why

    After like,

    All these years or something

    all of a sudden

    [its]

    So beautiful to me.

    So goddamn beautiful-

    That suddenly—

    —I don't know why—

    I don't see anything else.



    Anybody?



    {Enter The Multiverse}

    [The Festival Project.™]

    COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 |

    THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

    -Ū.
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    1 h y 6 m
  • kalypso.

    kalypso.
    Sep 24 2024

    'kalypso'

    Collection 2.1 'appearences'

    Track 02. 'kalypso'

    Prod. By Blū Tha Gürū

    [Hurrying backstage and hunched over, off screen and out of sight of the audience, this man is clearly on the brink of a nervous breakdown.]

    I'm gonna puke I'm gonna vomit.

    Hey!

    I'm gonna puke, I'm gonna vomit,

    I'm gonna hurl.

    Hey.

    Oh God.

    Are you okay?

    He stiffens up, standing straight and regaining his composure almost immediately, as if nothing had happened.

    Yeah. Everything's fine.

    Are you sure?

    You're crazy.

    This is simple.

    Okay.

    It's not FAIR.

    Nothing is FAIR.

    All is fair in love and war!!

    Well, this is neither— it's TV.

    “Telephoto”

    ‘Teleform'

    And

    ‘Telesynthesis'

    Who here can explain the difference?

    A girl leans over from slinking back in her desk to her classmate—they are both wearing sunglasses which seems odd, considering that they are obviously indoors; the lecture hall, as vast as it may be, can seem as such an intimate classroom—the students here have been studying as a class together here for so long that their familiarity with each other is much like that of a large family—however—very large; there are thousands of them, actually, in total, divided by sects into guilder chapters, designated by speciality and type, each having been given specific assignments, relegated by their gifts.

    I have to tell you something.

    Can it wait?

    Probably.

    —because she's going to pick on m—

    Cecile.

    Actually, it's—

    (Sighing deflatedly)

    (With sarcasm)

    Glorious Agony.

    She slinks back into her seat, slouching

    See.

    Your anticipation is distinguished.

    …Thank you.

    That was at worst a compliment and at best a suggestion to minimize and regulate your frequency as to remain undetectable, if not to be synchronized with the rest of your classmates—thoughtfully so.

    Rather thoughtless, actually.

    Well think of it— and speaking of such;

    Telesynthesis:

    Telesynthesis is to adapt one's functional vibration and frequency to match the commonly shared vibration at which the majority of conscious inhabitants in one's immediate field, environment, or space.

    And—Teleform

    To materialize within any given space the perception of a shared reality within one's given realm and or secondary dimension.

    Good.

    Thank you, Cecielle.

    Actually, it's—

    Now—

    Moving along.

    The teacher again begins to lecture, as the girl once again slowly begins to lean over towards cecil , still frustrated from her interaction with the professor.

    Pssssst.

    Are you serious?

    {Enter The Multiverse}

    [The Festival Project.™]

    COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 |

    THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

    -Ū.
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    4 m
  • FISHSTICKS!

    FISHSTICKS!
    Sep 24 2024
    My breath is shallow, My heart is lonely. The poster shadow Of many moons forshadoed. Again, I lie awake, screaming, Not calling I'm screening your calls You want ice cream with that, Or what. (Or what) Probably or what, though In a nutshell, I don't want you I thought your hollow bones Could swallow us whole To another, Long, long gone Summer. Sure, the show goes on —but it won't without you. For sure, The show goes on— But it won't without you Turn the phone on, Turn it over At the airport, Watching Conan Oh yeah, A honey blonde, Shucks. Honeysuckle wants only To become Sweet, ripe salmon berry (Don't you want to) At the airport, Watching conan Overhead, I Overheard a phone call “What the fuck did you just say?” It's been 3 days; She went missing at MIA No connection to jfk No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard All the water All the drugs All in the wash It's water under the toenails (Four fingers up, But the fourth one lost it) At the airport Watching Conan I over heard you Turn the phone off Semi-sync or something, Semi dysfunction Chemists hemispheres All his fears are In my head I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump (White Nikes is for chumps) Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days Especially on her bday When she asks for a replay of that remix Bitch please I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook. By the end of a river A cold brook Wrote a whole mother novel A classy story For the world gone wrong You fucking Morin Fungi up I get more fond l I stand in the train with my back against the wall So the shadow markers won't stand behind And grab me Fuck man, fuck off There's a lot of blue here Must be something to do here I need new gear Stuck inside of my l life Since new years Whose here? WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE? SUNNI! MORE HEINIKEN!!!! You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on. I know. So why are you drinking?! I took the ankle monitor off. Nogga yo feet is small. Like smaller than mine. I been staring at your gut this whole train ride. How the fuck are you like a 5x And your feet are a ladies size 6? The fuck. You need some help, bro. I ain't been to the gym in two days But you got fairy feet My nigga My hip bone s apes against the railing; I've three children, but you'd not know I; I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes m, Audio level Aux chords polished Shined as silver, Hair as Golden, Still no meadows, My eyes rest in My, I'm tired. Please don't mind me, Bright blue jumper Still no meadow I lay down in Still no meadow Hair as golden Old blue boxers Boxes Please don't mind me Oh, you started it Oh, you started it No motion sensors Already alcoholic, Still halls And still water Oh, You started it Oh. You started it Sure, don't fall out of Heroin antics, Sure, don't fall forward, Only to fall out Oh. You started it Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh? Fuckin creepo. Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil. I am one and all And all things, I am Still in my mind I am, Never behind, But always ahead Always right, and not wit wars I stand in line for the stairs The slower the better the more I write Imm on fast God Fasting time I'm on fully automatic The faster we go The harder the heroin The longer we stop for The harder we party Off bandwagon There I go— (Are I now) There you are? Fully automotive Fully automatic Fully on the wrong road. It matters hoping No more tears for lost stardom No more neon signs No halter tops Shit, I work harder in hell When I don't have my phone off Shit, I work harder in hell When I take all my clothes off. I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now I'm chained to a train With another one headed right towards me. I don't mind what's the line your on Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox Step over me Hoarder I'll say, Here for all time; Wherefor art though Simple and stuck In my own ways All day I sat in haides No semtember Sick morons Long, long October Still started No water Two dogs And a blonde No show starter. But There goes all that All the next understudies And sure profiles, Fair weather friends again —creepy ass inanimate muppets. Fuck, man. Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elmo's ass before I punch him. Don't punch Elmo. Who doesn't love Elmo. I do not. What did you say your name was? I didn't. What did you say is your expertise? Rhythms. Mister mister l NOOOOOOOO. Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train. gnarly. It was warm. And weird— Like a fucking Sleeping cat Under Egyptian cotton AGHHHHHHJ. AOh no. I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED. It just siezed up, ...
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    23 m
  • FISHSTICKS!

    FISHSTICKS!
    Sep 24 2024
    My breath is shallow, My heart is lonely. The poster shadow Of many moons forshadoed. Again, I lie awake, screaming, Not calling I'm screening your calls You want ice cream with that, Or what. (Or what) Probably or what, though In a nutshell, I don't want you I thought your hollow bones Could swallow us whole To another, Long, long gone Summer. Sure, the show goes on —but it won't without you. For sure, The show goes on— But it won't without you Turn the phone on, Turn it over At the airport, Watching Conan Oh yeah, A honey blonde, Shucks. Honeysuckle wants only To become Sweet, ripe salmon berry (Don't you want to) At the airport, Watching conan Overhead, I Overheard a phone call “What the fuck did you just say?” It's been 3 days; She went missing at MIA No connection to jfk No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard All the water All the drugs All in the wash It's water under the toenails (Four fingers up, But the fourth one lost it) At the airport Watching Conan I over heard you Turn the phone off Semi-sync or something, Semi dysfunction Chemists hemispheres All his fears are In my head I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump (White Nikes is for chumps) Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days Especially on her bday When she asks for a replay of that remix Bitch please I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook. By the end of a river A cold brook Wrote a whole mother novel A classy story For the world gone wrong You fucking Morin Fungi up I get more fond l I stand in the train with my back against the wall So the shadow markers won't stand behind And grab me Fuck man, fuck off There's a lot of blue here Must be something to do here I need new gear Stuck inside of my l life Since new years Whose here? WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE? SUNNI! MORE HEINIKEN!!!! You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on. I know. So why are you drinking?! I took the ankle monitor off. Nogga yo feet is small. Like smaller than mine. I been staring at your gut this whole train ride. How the fuck are you like a 5x And your feet are a ladies size 6? The fuck. You need some help, bro. I ain't been to the gym in two days But you got fairy feet My nigga My hip bone s apes against the railing; I've three children, but you'd not know I; I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes m, Audio level Aux chords polished Shined as silver, Hair as Golden, Still no meadows, My eyes rest in My, I'm tired. Please don't mind me, Bright blue jumper Still no meadow I lay down in Still no meadow Hair as golden Old blue boxers Boxes Please don't mind me Oh, you started it Oh, you started it No motion sensors Already alcoholic, Still halls And still water Oh, You started it Oh. You started it Sure, don't fall out of Heroin antics, Sure, don't fall forward, Only to fall out Oh. You started it Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh? Fuckin creepo. Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil. I am one and all And all things, I am Still in my mind I am, Never behind, But always ahead Always right, and not wit wars I stand in line for the stairs The slower the better the more I write Imm on fast God Fasting time I'm on fully automatic The faster we go The harder the heroin The longer we stop for The harder we party Off bandwagon There I go— (Are I now) There you are? Fully automotive Fully automatic Fully on the wrong road. It matters hoping No more tears for lost stardom No more neon signs No halter tops Shit, I work harder in hell When I don't have my phone off Shit, I work harder in hell When I take all my clothes off. I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now I'm chained to a train With another one headed right towards me. I don't mind what's the line your on Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox Step over me Hoarder I'll say, Here for all time; Wherefor art though Simple and stuck In my own ways All day I sat in haides No semtember Sick morons Long, long October Still started No water Two dogs And a blonde No show starter. But There goes all that All the next understudies And sure profiles, Fair weather friends again —creepy ass inanimate muppets. Fuck, man. Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elmo's ass before I punch him. Don't punch Elmo. Who doesn't love Elmo. I do not. What did you say your name was? I didn't. What did you say is your expertise? Rhythms. Mister mister l NOOOOOOOO. Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train. gnarly. It was warm. And weird— Like a fucking Sleeping cat Under Egyptian cotton AGHHHHHHJ. AOh no. I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED. It just siezed up, ...
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    23 m
  • pill popper.

    pill popper.
    Sep 24 2024

    Damn. I really want to know if Dillon Francis has offspring yet.

    NO! Don't touch it!

    …it's—just a baby.

    You don't know! He could be dangerous!

    It's a baby!

    It's a multidimentional extraterrestrial mystic

    —baby—

    —baby! Exactly! Don't make me list the reason why and how this child should not be TOUCHED or tampered with.

    [the tiny Dillon Francis begins to cry]

    *gasp*

    *double gasps*

    *welling up*

    Oh, come on!

    No! Dont touch him!

    Did you find your prostitute yet?

    She's not a prostitute, it's a—

    Well this dimension's definition of a—

    Sandwhich?

    Don't mind if I do.

    *takes bite of sandwhich*

    …

    Hm???

    Oh my GOD.

    EhYess…

    What is ON THIS?

    EhWhy would you take a bite of—

    TINA FEY?!

    Oh god, here it comes.

    TINA FEY! TINA FEY

    WHAT, FANGIRL. What?!

    I need to ask you something.

    Okay, but make it quick. I'm about to enjoy this sandwhich.

    Wait/m—

    No more waiting, actually. It's a hot sandwhich.

    Ew…

    You're ew!

    —a sandwhich without knowing what's in it.

    THE HOOLIGANS have tied what appears to be an innocent man to the train tracks— THE

    what did I call them again?

    The real versions

    Aren't they all real?

    Kind of.

    This isn't real.

    I agree.

    THE HOOLIGANS ARE SQUATTERS.

    EW.

    Right.

    Ey! Ey! Put him back in the jar!

    Why do you have a little man in a jar?!

    I'm saving it for something.

    Okay, so here's the thing about bass music

    Uh huh, I'm listening

    With dubstep,

    The wubz and the subs

    Hit with the kick, almost always—

    Which is why it sounds confusing, and weird

    But that's what makes it interesting;

    The trick is,

    Mixing these kicks and the wubs

    At different frequencies

    So you can hear both of them

    Clearly.

    Ohhhhhhhhh…

    Yeah.

    I see.

    Uh huh.

    I don't know how to do that.

    MEANWHILE:

    DAMN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE MAYA RUDOLPH?!

    THERES NO SUCH THING AS A FREE GIFTCARD!

    I TOLD YOU, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.

    It seemed almost fake—

    And probably was, for whatever reason,

    But the simple reminder

    That comedy

    Sometimes first begins as tragedy

    Came back to me

    When i saw a man in Manhattan

    Try to hail a taxi—

    And they just kept passing him by;

    Finally one stopped,

    And with relief,

    The guy says—

    “Finally, Jesus Christ!”

    Or something like that,

    And then as he goes to catch the taxi,

    It just speeds off,

    And he like,

    Threw a fit of rage as the walk sign turned on

    And the crowd of people I was walking with

    All just kind of

    Laughed.

    That was funny.

    That guy could be having the worst day ever—

    But God, that shit was hilarious.

    My superintendent is fucking weird and gross to me.

    Is he smoking in his car?

    Is that thy the alarm goes off every few minutes?

    What the fuck is wrong with him?

    Welcome to Funland

    I'm in the depths

    The chambers

    —the ritual.

    Damn! What is his pre show ritual?!

    I don't know.

    I don't want to know.

    well, someone ought to.

    A long nap.

    Aws.

    Then a short nap.

    …okay.

    Peanut butter jelly sandwhich.

    That seems normal.

    12 of them.

    Oh.

    What.

    Damn.

    That's like 6 loaves of bread.

    {Enter The Multiverse}

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