The Bonding Edition What is a mother? Some definitions include: The female parentTo mother is to bring up a child with care and affection“a mother understands what a child does not say”“Motherhood has the greatest potential influence in human life”“a beetle is a beauty in the eyes of his mother” J What is bonding? Must be attached first to bring up a child with care and affection.Bonding is the formation of a close human relationshipEmotional and physical attachment between mother and offspring There are two important bonding types to consider: The first is maternal-fetal bonding or when a women is pregnant with the developing babyThe second is mother-baby bonding or bonding with baby after delivery Maternal fetal bonding spans three semesters: The first trimester includes adjusting to the idea of pregnancyMost report ambivalenceMay experience nausea, vomiting, fatigue and this may amplify anxietyDuring the Second trimester the baby’s movement is feltYou may start thinking about who this person could beYou start thinking about the baby as separate from selfThe Third trimester includes getting ready for baby’s arrivalPrepping for labor or surgeryMost experience fatigue Mother-Baby Bonding -acceptance of baby as a whole and no longer just an idea -may be some attachment concerns with difficult deliveries (PTSD) -or if delivery did not go as planned, like planned water birth and ended up with forceps delivery - or epidural during labor or c/s etc - or if baby ended up in NICU -or if preterm delivery Mother-Baby Bonding - perinatal time is one of identity shift - from own entity or person to mother of 1 - Identity is fluid, could be shift from mother of 1 to now mother of 2 - Bonding impacted by historical family relationships (mother was idolized or not?) Why do we care about bonding? - early attachment relationships between mom and baby improve baby’s psychological, cognitive, and social development - attachment styles impact how the baby interacts with humanity in the future - A mother who is bonded with her baby will try to know, protect, interact with, and meet the needs of her baby What impacts bonding? Social Support: Protective against stress & challengesHelp with planning for baby’s futureAllows for better adjustment to motherhoodCould be partner, family of origin, close friends Self Esteem: Optimistic beliefs improve bondingHappy with appearance or self image improves bondingHigh sense of wellbeingPrepared for baby Mental Health: Depression decreases bonding (inverse relationship) Some studies anxiety decreased bonding Hollywood Bonding Versus Bonding in Reality I had Hollywood bonding with my secondMaybe wisdom from having firstKnew what to expectKnew that systems could be built to organize care Reality: With my first baby I was isolatedIt felt harder to bondIt was comforting to know that Good to know bonding is a lifelong processNot a “one moment” or one time eventAlso, first pregnancy related to increased pregnancy stress Pro Tips Never walk alone, social support protectiveIf history of depression or anxiety stay on treatment or get treatmentIf you notice difficulty in bonding postpartum TELL PROVIDERThe good news is that there is HELP Thank you so much for your time and wisdom.I believe you are joining us for a show on how to choose a great therapistThank you for listeningYour host Judith Wafe of The Fourth Trimester NP Lydia’s Book Recommendations :- Parenting with PTSD byA Nation of Wimps by Anxiety scale. Discuss score with healthcare provider. GAD-7 (General Anxiety Disorder-7) - MDCalc Depression Scale. Discuss score with healthcare provider. PHQ-9 (Patient Health Questionnaire-9) - MDCalc Guest Bio Lydia Moore Allen is the Founder and CEO of Se-ReNew Therapy & Consulting Services LLC. She has been in the mental health field for almost 20 years. Lydia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Master's Level Addiction Professional, Certified Parenting Instructor and Qualified Supervisor. Lydia provides counseling for individuals, couples, families and supervision for registered MSW Interns. She also offers comprehensive Diagnostic Evaluations for Immigration Court for Hardships, Violence against Women (VAWA), U-VISA (for immigrants who were victims or witnesses to a crime in the U.S) and T-VISA (for victims involved in human trafficking. Lydia has dedicated her years working with individuals, couples and families facing life changing challenges, including addiction, marital/relationship conflict, mental health imbalance and parenting hurdles. She has experience working in residential and partial-hospitalization settings with clients of varying cultural, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Lydia is transparent and...
