"It's been a beautiful journey so far... But oh so messy!"

Christa Lei and their partner originally opened their relationship into a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic, even though neither of them ever acted on it. Eventually, they gave it a little more thought and made a shift to a more integrated kitchen-table poly dynamic, which is how they've now been exploring for the last few years.

Christa's not here to pretend like everything is always easy and perfect. Navigating relationships can be really hard and they've found a lot of power and support in creating a care team for themself through their polyamory community. For Christa, polyamory is just as much about building community and support systems as it is about the dating and romance. Although, there's definitely some of that as well... Did they mention it can get messy?

And... awesome for us, Christa sent over their own bio and so we just had to copy and paste! Woop woop! (Thanks, Christa!)

Christa Lei (they/them/theirs) grew up on Native Hawaiian land as the youngest child of Filipino immigrants. Their professional experiences revolve around healthcare: patient advocacy, casework/care facilitation, and clinical research. Their intersectional identities as fat, neurodivergent, disabled, queer, polyamorous, and third-culture person inform their personal and professional work.

A multi-modal and experienced creative, Christa creates and facilitates spaces for interdisciplinary praxis via community care. Along with their lived experiences as a crip queer person, they are certified as a death doula by Going with Grace. In their spare time, they dance, sing, write, travel around the world, point out all the puppies on the street, preach the gospel of Shrek, and create shared futures with their chosen family of their loving spouse and two dogs in New York City. Connect with them via Instagram (@supchrista) or at christalei.me or their newsletter isthiswhatyouwant.org.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest!

Today's questions are all about compersion and we have one of the world's leading experts on the subject joining us! Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach as well as the author of the new book "What is compersion?" You can learn more about Marie and her work at www.whatiscompersion.com.

You can also save 25% if you order your copy of her book using the link and code below!

"What is Compersion?"

(Use code RLFANDF25 to save 25%)

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!

Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.

Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

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Today's interview with Flora and Andy is so full of love and zest for life! The last seven years have been full of adventure for these two... They met on Grinder in 2017, got married a few years later, and then a few years ago decided to open their relationship up after a series of infidelities.

Today they practice their own form of non-hierarchical polyamory after trying out different flavors of non-monogamy along the way. They take us inside their partnership and share how they rebuilt everything in spite of the infidelities and all of the self-discovery and growth that they both did to get to where they are today.

Flora and Andy also share with us how they've persevered and supported one another as a multicultural trans and non-binary queer couple exploring the world of sex, dating, relationships, and life. When they're not sharing their life story on our podcast, you can find Flora and Andy on Instagram where they do powerful work helping organizations and companies be more inclusive to queer communities. Please check out their work and enjoy this interview with Flora and Andy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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