On Parenting, Jürgen Klopp, Weapon of Silence, and Slow Progress

Not Alone Today Podcast | Season 6 Episode 1

Welcome back to another episode of the Not Alone Today podcast! In this episode, Joseph and Anu reflect on some lessons they are learning in recent weeks.

For More Resources from Joseph and Anu Ola

Follow us on social media and explore more insightful content and resources.

Join the "Not Alone Today" Community

Stay connected with us as we journey together through life issues, constantly reminding one another that we are Not Alone Today. You can like our Facebook page at⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/notalonetoday⁠ or join Alive Mentorship Group at ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/alivementorship⁠. If you have questions or topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes, you can submit them through our website — ⁠https://www.josephkolawole.org/contact⁠ or reach out on social media. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and God's grace is sufficient to strengthen and guide you through any challenges that arise.

Avoiding Distractions in a Long-Distance Marriage

Not Alone Today Podcast | Season 5 Episode 3

Welcome back to another episode of the Not Alone Today podcast! In this episode, Nike asks a follow-up question to Timothy's question which we treated in the last episode (titled When a Couple's Attraction Wanes). Nike asks,

“How can I maintain focus and keep the attraction alive in my long-distance marriage? I'm feeling emotionally confused and relying on my faith for support. I can't help but notice other attractive guys, but I've accepted the reality of our separation. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Managing three kids alone leaves me exhausted in the evenings, and sometimes I fall asleep before calling him. He always wants to talk, but I can't always find the time. 🫣 What should I do about these distractions and the temptation of other attractive men? 👀😁”

Some Resources Mentioned in the episode:

• Couply - a mobile app that helps couples connect and build stronger relationships

• NIV Couples' Devotional Bible

• S5E02 - When a Couple's Attraction Wanes

Biblical Insight 

• We highlighted Philippians 4:8-9 as a guardrail to implementing the ideas and tips shared in the episode.

How to Listen to the Episode

• https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday

For More Resources from Joseph and Anu Ola

Follow us on social media and explore more insightful content and resources.

• ✥ Linktree —⁠ ⁠https://linktr.ee/josephola⁠⁠ 

• ✥ Disha Page —⁠ ⁠https://josephola.disha.page/⁠⁠

Join the "Not Alone Today" Community

Stay connected with us as we journey together through life issues, constantly reminding one another that we are Not Alone Today. You can like our Facebook page at⁠ ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/notalonetoday⁠ or join Alive Mentorship Group at ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/alivementorship⁠. If you have questions or topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes, you can submit them through our website — ⁠https://www.josephkolawole.org/contact⁠ or reach out on social media. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and God's grace is sufficient to strengthen and guide you through any challenges that arise.

When a Couple's Attraction Wanes

Not Alone Today Podcast | Season 5 Episode 2

Welcome back to another episode of the Not Alone Today podcast! In this episode, we dive into a question from a listener named Timothy who asks,

“How can I handle the situation when I find myself getting less attracted to my wife due to certain habits or attitudes she wouldn't change? Communication is a major challenge between us. I value class and taste, while she seems more laid-back about appearances. How can I address this and understand her perspective better?”

Timothy's question revolves around how to handle the situation when he feels less attracted to his wife due to her unwillingness to change certain habits and attitudes. He also seeks guidance on addressing the issue of communication challenges and understanding his wife's perspective better.

Some Key Highlights

• The importance of valuing what God values in a marriage

• The significance of communication, vulnerability, and acceptance in fostering a loving and harmonious relationship.

• The power of laughter and finding joy in everyday moments to strengthen the connection between partners.

• Embracing each other's unique traits and differences rather than trying to change one another.

Biblical Insight 

Drawing from 1 Peter 3, we emphasise the value of inner beauty—a calm and gentle spirit—as being precious in the eyes of God. This insight encourages spouses to focus on the beauty that comes from within and align their values with what God values.

Practical Tips

• Encourage open and honest communication in the relationship, with a focus on understanding each other rather than trying to make a point.

• Find creative ways to express love languages to one another, making correction more romantic than confrontational.

• Embrace each other's differences and learn to find joy in them, recognising that attraction evolves over time.

How to Listen to the Episode

https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday

For More Resources from Joseph and Anu Ola

Follow us on social media and explore more insightful content and resources.

• ✥ Linktree — ⁠https://linktr.ee/josephola⁠ 

• ✥ Disha Page — ⁠https://josephola.disha.page/⁠

Join the "Not Alone Today" Community

Stay connected with us as we journey together through life issues, constantly reminding one another that we are Not Alone Today. You can like our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/notalonetoday or join Alive Mentorship Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/alivementorship. If you have questions or topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes, you can submit them through our website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/contact or reach out on social media. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and God's grace is sufficient to strengthen and guide you through any challenges that arise.

In this episode, we reflect on the previous year and the transition into a new year.

We discussed the following among others:

• ✥ Highlights of 2022
• ✥ The merits and demerits of making new year resolutions
• ✥ Daily Audio Bible Chronological (https://player.dailyaudiobible.com/chronological)
• ✥ The concept of naming a new year
• ✥ A warning against distraction

You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share.

• ✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/
• ✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506

FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA

• https://linktr.ee/josephola
• https://josephola.disha.page/

This is a 6-in-1 special episode bringing together over two hours of Relationship Content from the Not Alone Today Podcast.

For easy navigation, here's a guide:

• 0:00  ⏩  1. Help! I Don't Like Who God Wants Me To Marry 
• 19:07  ⏩  2. Marrying a Pastor 
• 45:14  ⏩  3. Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person
• 01:12:40  ⏩  4. The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis
• 01:30:15  ⏩  5. Being Sure of Who to Marry
• 01:51:47  ⏩  6. Am I Ready for a Relationship?

You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share.

✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/

✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506

FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA

• https://linktr.ee/josephola
• https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Chika's question sent in from Lagos, Nigeria. Here's her question:

"What do you do when you try to work out your relationship with other people and it seems like the more you try to 'express' who you are, they keep misunderstanding?"

We discussed a few possibilities for Chika's consideration including but not limited to:

✥ The possibility that God may be teaching Chika some patience

✥ The possibility that Chika may be surrounding herself with the wrong inner circle

✥ The possible flaws in Chika's attempt to "express who she is"

✥ The possibility that Chika may be unpacking the gift of 'not fitting in', which is often a prerequisite for a call into PIONEERING one form of ministry or the other.

For more on the last point, we mentioned the works of Jonny Baker who has written a lot of insightful materials on the gift of not fitting and pioneer practice as a whole. 

You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share.

✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/

✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506

FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA

• https://linktr.ee/josephola
• https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Betty's question sent in from East Africa. Her main question goes thus:

"Pastor, I need your help. I've been married to a man I believe is God's will for my life for a couple of years. However, I have observed in recent times that my husband lies to me and hardly apologises! There are so many decisions we make as a family but sometimes he goes against them and, in turn, lies to me instead. I am so fed up. I feel it's not healthy for me, especially as we are currently expecting our first child. To be fair to him, he had previously confessed to me that while he was growing up, he never felt loved because both his parents passed on while he was still very young. However, the fact that he lacked any significant parental love while growing up seems to be affecting him in marriage. It also meant that he didn't grow up with a model of what a man does to his wife. Sometimes, when I am feeling down and in need of his support and encouragement, he doesn't know what to do. Yet, I feel like I need him sometimes to show me that he's concerned or understands how I feel, but he doesn't seem to care about it. As for me, I grew up around both my parents, so I am here battling in my mind about how I think "he's supposed to do this and that" or "this should come naturally to him" but those things are not happening. I am confused and need your help."

We discussed this in the episode, among other things, an exposition on 1 Peter 2 and 3 while also offering some practical insights into Betty's question.

You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share.

✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/

✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506

FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA

• https://linktr.ee/josephola
• https://josephola.disha.page/

In today's episode, we respond to Helen's questions. Her main question goes thus:

"What can you say about a single lady who is waiting and working because she is not sure that it is time for her to get into a marital relationship yet? She is willing to walk according to divine timing; she is working on discovering herself, acquiring useful skills, working on her character flaws, maximizing her God-given potential, and receiving training on 'the art of authentic ministry.' Meanwhile, as she is doing all these things, proposals keep coming from Christian brothers; what should she do? I believe that some people see this kind of 'waiting' as being 'seemingly foolish' while some would tag it 'a fear of commitment' or 'fear of being vulnerable in a marital relationship'; perhaps, some would even call it 'pride.' Is this so, sir? What if such a person feels so strong about this inner perception of hers (to take her time and do all these preparations BEFORE getting into a relationship)?"

We discussed this in the episode.

Meanwhile, her other question came up in her mind while reading Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Joseph and Anu Ola's latest book). Helen wanted to know if Anu's fears prior to consenting to the beginning of her relationship with Joseph played a part in her waiting for almost 4 weeks before responding positively to Joseph's marriage proposal. To this, we pointed her to previous episodes where the reasoning behind this was already well discussed. See the following past episodes:

S1E03 - Pre-Courtship, Courtship, and Pre-Wedding FEARS

S3E01 - Being Sure of Who to Marry

S1E27 - Becoming the Right Person While Waiting for the Right Person

S1E28 - The Audacity of Marrying on a 'God Said' Basis

Our response to Helen's questions welcomes us to Season 4 of the Not Alone Today podcast. You can click on any of the links to listen . . . and please, remember to share.

✥ Joseph's Website — https://www.josephkolawole.org/notalonetoday/

✥ Other Podcast Platforms — https://pod.link/1537774506

ALSO MENTIONED

✥ Echoes: Life Lessons from an Online Village (Volume 1) - http://viewbook.at/echoes

FOR MORE RESOURCES FROM JOSEPH & ANU OLA

• https://linktr.ee/josephola
• https://josephola.disha.page/