This episode is one that I dared to dream about. Through my coaching with working parents, I have had a window on the world of families that others may not have. I have listened to my client’s stories about how they manage the daily operations of their families and the challenges they face. And I have concluded that what happens at home has a massive impact on what is possible at work.

So, I was delighted when Paul and Bec (and 7-week-old baby Aloïse) agreed to be guests on this week’s podcast.  It is a very special conversation where they both very generously talk about their experience of being working parents and how they think about returning to work after having a baby.  Having these kinds of conversations is courageous. And I want to acknowledge this. This stuff is not easy. It is hard and we can do hard things. Speaking of hard things – thank you Paul and Bec for doing this even though you were at peak sleep deprivation!

In the conversation we talk all things:

• Acknowledging that being a mother is the hardest job in the world – it is 24/7. 
• The power of your partner understanding the mental load and expanding their understanding of it. Getting curious. 
• How Paul took the lead on things he could – eg: taking the lead at night so Bec could get more sleep. 
• “Life is not a balance sheet” and why keeping score is not a good idea.
• Work at home is work and needs structure. We don’t need helpers at home, we need owners. 
• Ideas for how partners can support even if they are not home. 
• How the planning ahead is most of the heavy lifting – not the actual doing of the task. 
• Renaming the mental load as strategic planning. Genius!
• Their experience of using the Fair Play cards
• Perception of what each was doing was different. The value is sitting down and talking about it. 
• Communication and why a whiteboard is a foundation of success when you return to work.
• Whether it is “noble” to take parental leave.
• What if we treated parental leave just like annual leave?

Resources Discussed 

Podcast Recommendation - The Imperfects.  

The podcast we discussed is refreshingly honest and courageous, it tells the story of how Penny and Hugh van Cuylenburg The Resilience Project have leant into this hard conversation of the mental load at home and in Hugh’s words ``been the best thing we have done for our relationship”. 

To listen to Hugh and Ryan’s reflections on what it has been like for them was impactful. Honest, at times brutally, and at the same time vulnerable when talking about trying new ways of doing things at home.  It provides a pathway and a way forward to a more equitable home life. Highly recommend it! 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3CRrKK9Af0QmU4j4GTgW39?si=2eb2f909013840e5

Great for listening in the car.

Connect with Emma

This podcast was funded by Works for Everyone, a business based in NZ and operating globally that supports working parents to stay in the leadership pipeline through coaching, workshops, and advocacy.  

Your host, Emma Mclean, is a mother of three teenagers, an Executive Coach and the Founder of Works for Everyone. Following a successful 25-year career in corporate marketing, Emma launched her...