Episodes

  • Why are fathers told "Do not provoke your children" (Colossians 3:21)

    Why are fathers told "Do not provoke your children" (Colossians 3:21)
    Aug 14 2021
    In Colossians 3:18–21, the apostle Paul summarized his instructions concerning Christian family life in four concise directives: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (ESV). The word for “provoke” in the original Greek language means “to irritate or arouse feelings such as anger, hurt, shame, and fear to the point of exasperation.” Other translations render the phrase as “do not exasperate” (CSB), “do not aggravate” (NLT), “do not drive to resentment” (JB ), “do not nag” (NCV), and “do not embitter” (NIV). The image is of an overbearing disciplinarian who constantly corrects and rebukes a child for every little mistake or perceived wrong. Such a father will provoke his children. The Greek word translated “discouraged” is found only here in the New Testament. It speaks of becoming disheartened or “losing spirit.” According to A Handbook on Paul’s Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon, such a discouraged child will close down his heart and hide inside himself. “The child feels that he can never do anything right and so gives up trying” (Bratcher, R., & Nida, E., United Bible Societies, 1993, p. 94). The term father in Colossians 3:21 speaks directly of the male parent. Of course, the rule to not provoke one’s children ought to encompass both father and mother, but Paul reminds us that fathers hold the critical responsibility as head of the household. “The Christian father is not to overcorrect or harass his children, or they will become discouraged, which refers to ‘a listless, sullen resignation—a broken spirit.’ To be discouraged as a child means to think things like, I’ll never get it right, or, All he does is criticize, or, He’ll never love me. John Newton is reported to have said, ‘I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it.’ Christian fathers should be sure their children are as sure of their love as they are of their authority” (Anders, M., Galatians–Colossians, Vol. 8, Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999, p. 333.) Yes, children are called to honor and obey their parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–2, Colossians 3:20), but parents must not abuse their authority. They must treat their children with dignity, respect, patience, and love. Parents are called to encourage their children. They do this by teaching each child the principles of God’s Word and promoting life-affirming, positive creativity in the child, stirring him to have confidence in his God-given uniqueness and to believe that he can do what he otherwise may never have achieved. Endless criticism, emotional and physical neglect, and overly harsh discipline will defeat a child’s spirit. One commentator writes, “Constant nagging produces a situation where children are discouraged either because they cannot please those they love or because they feel they are of no worth to anybody” (Melick, R., Philippians, Colossians, Philemon, Vol. 32, Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1991, p. 315). Such provocation is not of God and will crush a child’s heart to the point of his becoming fearful, timid, and withdrawn. He will grow up disheartened, lacking the necessary confidence to succeed and believe he can be all God created him to be. In a teaching on family relationships to the Ephesian church, Paul exhorted fathers, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). The language suggests a positive, nurturing, and faith-infused environment where children will see their father’s genuine commitment to the Lord. Parents, and especially fathers, play a critical role in representing God to their children. Just as “the Lord disciplines those he loves” (Hebrews 12:6, NLT), mothers and fathers ought to discipline their children, but with love as...
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    15 mins
  • What does the Bible say about raising children?

    What does the Bible say about raising children?
    Jul 12 2021
    God created the family. His design was for a man and a woman to marry for life and raise children to know and honor Him (Mark 10:9; Malachi 2:15). Adoption is also God’s idea, and He models this in His adoption of us as His children (Romans 8:15, 23; Ephesians 1:5). Regardless of the means by which they enter a family, children are a gift from God and He cares about how they are raised (Psalm 127:3; Psalm 34:11; Proverbs 23:13–14). When God gives us gifts, He also gives clear instructions about their use. When God led the Israelites out of bondage, He commanded them to teach their children all He had done for them (Deuteronomy 6:6–7; 11:19). He desired that the generations to come would continue to uphold all His commands. When one generation fails to instill God’s laws in the next, a society quickly declines. Parents have not only a responsibility to their children, but an assignment from God to impart His values and truth into their lives. Several places in Scripture give specific instructions to parents about how to raise their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” There are several ways parents might provoke their children to anger. Some parents set impossible standards so that a child despairs of ever achieving them. Some parents tease, ridicule, or humiliate their children as a means of punishment, which does nothing but provoke them to anger. Inconsistency can also provoke to anger as a child is never sure about the consequences of his actions. Hypocrisy provokes children to anger when parents require behavior from children that the parents are not choosing for themselves. To “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” means that parents should train their children the way God trains us. As a Father, God is “slow to anger” (Numbers 14:18; Psalm 145:8), patient (Psalm 86:15), and forgiving (Daniel 9:9). His discipline is designed to bring us to repentance (Hebrews 12:6–11). His instruction is found in His Word (John 17:17; Psalm 119:97), and He desires that parents fill their homes with His truth (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). He also disciplines His children (Proverbs 3:11; Hebrews 12:5) and expects earthly parents to do the same (Proverbs 23:13). Psalm 94:12 says, “Blessed is the one you discipline, LORD, the one you teach from your law.” The word discipline comes from the root word disciple. To discipline someone means to make a disciple of him. God’s discipline is designed to “conform us to the image of Christ” (Romans 8:29). Parents can make disciples of their children by instilling values and life lessons they have learned. As parents practice godly living and make Spirit-controlled decisions (Galatians 5:16, 25), they can encourage their children to follow their example. Proper, consistent discipline brings a “harvest of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). Failure to discipline results in dishonor for both parent and child (Proverbs 10:1). Proverbs 15:32 says that the one who ignores discipline “despises himself.” The Lord brought judgment upon Eli the priest because he allowed his sons to dishonor the Lord and “failed to restrain them” (1 Samuel 3:13). Children are a “heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). He places them in families and gives parents guidance in how they are to be raised. The goal of good parenting is to produce wise children who know and honor God with their lives. Proverbs 23:24 shows the end result of raising children according to God’s plan: “The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise” (NLT). . . . . . Keith Muoki is a KJV bible believer who is saved by grace through faith in the blood of Jesus Christ. He lives in Nairobi, Kenya, and preaches every day on Spreaker.com Podcast, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Bitchute, Soundcloud, Twitter, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Google Podcast, Castbox, Deezer, Podcast Addict, Podchaser,...
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    11 mins
  • What does it mean to be a godly mother?

    What does it mean to be a godly mother?
    Jul 12 2021
    A godly mother is a woman who represents the heart of Christ to her children. She is continually aware of her influence over their lives and futures and makes sacrifices whenever necessary for their welfare. Godly mothers are first godly women. They are not one way at home and another way in public. Even when her children do not have a godly father, a mother can have a great impact on her children’s spiritual future. The following are some characteristics of a godly mother: 1. She knows God. A godly mother wants her children to be godly, and she leads the way. A mother cannot pass on to her children values and qualities that she does not possess. So the first step in becoming a godly mother is surrendering to the lordship of Jesus. Only then is her soul restored (Psalm 23:3), her life recreated (2 Corinthians 5:17), and her mind renewed (Romans 12:2). 2. She understands her role in marriage and the family. As part of sin’s curse, women struggle with wanting to control their husbands (Genesis 3:16). But God decreed that husbands and fathers should carry the weight of responsibility for their families (1 Corinthians 11:3). A godly wife will gracefully bow to that leadership and model for her children godly submission to authority. Even when husbands and fathers are not worthy of such respect, godly mothers do not bad-mouth them to the children. Divorced or single mothers can be godly mothers as they teach their children of God’s plan for marriage and demonstrate purity and wisdom in their own dating relationships. 3. She does not neglect her own health and well-being. Often, we equate personal martyrdom with humility and service, but it need not be that way. Godly mothers model for their children healthy self-respect and boundaries. A godly mother knows that wearing herself out acting as a slave to her children is not good for anyone. She will give selflessly to her children, but she will also carve out time to rejuvenate herself because she knows that, if she is not healthy, her children will also suffer. 4. She seizes teachable moments to instill biblical truths. A godly mother is not so focused on meeting physical needs that she neglects her real calling, which is to raise future disciples of Christ (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6). Because she walks in close harmony with God, she easily directs her children’s attention to His work in their lives. She may say to the three-year-old, “See that beautiful robin? God, who loves us, made that bird for us to enjoy. Thank you, God, for your beautiful birds.” She may say to her pre-teen, “Honey, I’m sorry you didn’t make the team. I know it hurts, but remember that God has something bigger in store for you as you trust Him with even this disappointment.” 5. She models service to God and others. Children need reminders that they were created for God, and serving Him is their highest calling (Colossians 1:16). A godly mother will demonstrate this in her own life as she involves her children in serving others. “Let’s finish this so we can make dinner for the Smith family. They’re going through a hard time, and we want to remind them that Jesus has not forgotten about them.” Acts 9:36–41 gives us a glimpse into the life of Tabitha, who was known for her good deeds. When she died, many townspeople brought out the garments she had made for them as evidence of her kindness. A godly mother leaves evidence of her kindness, and her children are proud of her reputation (see Matthew 5:16). 6. She has a healthy self-image. Many women in our culture struggle with low self-worth due to childhood wounds or comparison with others. A godly mother has learned to see herself as God sees her. Because of this, she can demonstrate to her children the way a godly woman should present herself. Godly mothers see themselves as active participants in God’s work; they don’t try to gain attention or a sense of worth through dress or behavior or relational status. First Peter 3:3–4 says, “Your beauty should...
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    14 mins
  • What does it mean to be a godly father?

    What does it mean to be a godly father?
    Jul 12 2021
    Fatherhood was one of the first jobs God gave men. Immediately after creating Adam and Eve, God commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). One of His primary purposes for marriage was offspring who would fill the earth with God’s praise and glory. However, providing sperm for conception is merely the beginning of God’s expectation for fathers. Sperm can make a child, but it takes a real man to be a father. Some men who want to be good fathers have little understanding of what godly fatherhood looks like, so this article will explore some characteristics of a godly father. 1. A godly father knows God. It should go without stating, but many men want their children to have a relationship with God but do not have such a relationship with God themselves. They let their wives take the kids to church, trust the preacher to instill godly values, and assume they are being what they need to be because they provide exposure to godliness. But children model what they see. If Dad does not consider obedience to God important, why should they? If Dad doesn’t lead the family spiritually, it must not be a priority. So godly fatherhood begins within the heart of a man. He considers his own relationship with God the most important one in his life and models that godliness for his children. 2. A godly father loves and honors his wife. It has been said that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. When children grow up watching healthy, loving interactions between their parents, they naturally seek to imitate that in their own marriages. Sadly, children often do not see their fathers and mothers loving each other. Even if a man is divorced or single, he can still model respectful behavior toward his child’s mother; if he is remarried, he can demonstrate a loving relationship with his current wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28). 3. A godly father accepts responsibility for his children’s spiritual training. Too often, the children’s training is left to the mother while the father considers a paycheck his contribution to the family. While providing financially for a family is an important responsibility for fathers (1 Timothy 5:8), it is not their only responsibility. While he may delegate much of the day-to-day teaching to his wife, a godly father still bears responsibility. For example, he should pray with his children and talk with them about what the Bible teaches. He encourages Christian character in his children by his example as well as his words of instruction and the expectations of behavior he sets forth for and enforces with his children. 4. A godly father is continually aware of his influence. “Do what I say, not what I do” has been the unfortunate attitude of many fathers. Little eyes observe and learn from watching Dad’s behavior, regardless of what he says he believes. Sons, in particular, need male role models to show them how to become men. Dads may not realize it, but everything they do is influencing their children. Words alone are not enough. Consider what a child might learn from these fatherly instructions: • “Church is important, so you guys go, but I’m staying home to watch football.” • “Don’t you lie to me, but tell that person on the phone that I’m not here.” • “I just cussed out our neighbor, but if I hear you guys saying those words, you’re gonna get it.” • “Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Now bring me a beer and my cigarettes.” 5. A godly father models selfless service. Much of Jesus’ earthly life was given to serving others. As followers of Jesus, we are to imitate that service (Matthew 20:28). Godly fathers figure out ways to involve their little ones in that service. “Let’s go over and mow Mrs. Jones’ yard. Her husband had surgery, and she’s got a new baby.” When children grow up watching Dad quietly serve the Lord without expectation of reward, they internalize those values. 6. A godly father is consistent. Nothing confuses children more than inconsistency, either...
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    19 mins