Like a good party? Have you ever considered The Official Party? You’re already a member, as are all citizens at birth, so you might as well enjoy it.

The opinions expressed on this transmission are entirely in your own imagination. Please be advised that both opinions and imagination are prohibited, and repeated use of either require self surrender to the appropriate authorities.

Have you been listening to Remote Station Seven transmissions in an attempt to uncover hidden messages? Keep trying! They’ve got to be in there somewhere.

Like television? Sadly, television no longer exists, but if you imagine pictures in your head while listening to Remote Station Seven broadcasts, it is exactly like watching television.

Remote Station Seven is dedicated to helping its listeners achieve the best them possible. Tune into Remote Station Seven’s self-actualization transmissions and link up your personal authenticity with that of the appropriate authorities! The State will officially decree that you are blessed!

Have individuals claiming to be secret police showed up at your home and confiscated your radio? Have no worries! This is just an effort by the appropriate authorities to ensure that your equipment is updated. Be patient!

If you find that transmissions from Remote Station Seven have caused sensations of nausea, you are advised to remember that Remote Station Seven does not officially exist and therefore you never heard such transmissions.

Please be alerted that the following program contains oscillatory patterning that can cause hallucinations and affect certain aural processing functions, in addition to your ability to demonstrate free will. Remote Station Seven takes no responsibility for your personal outcomes but urges you to report to the nearest designated facility.