There’s some serious breaking news this week: Kristen Stewart doesn’t consider any of the Twilight films as in the top 5 best movies she’s ever made.

Then we can’t put it off any longer: it’s time for another slog of a chapter. The good news is, we finally meet the Cullens! The bad news is, they’re literally only in four pages of the chapter, because who cares about anyone that’s not Bella or Edward, amiright?

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It’s a Twilight reunion! This week, part one could only be dedicated to one piece of news: the reunion of Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene in the parody video “Emo’s Not Dead” by Matt Cutshall on Instagram. We also reflect on some of the others who have paid homage to the iconic baseball scene recently.

Then it’s time to dive into this week’s chapter, which isn’t a long chapter, but woof, did Steph pack it in. We really pick apart this one, especially the completely wild implications of what true “marriage” means for Stephenie. All we can say is, it’s a Mormon Watch episode.

Check out “Emo’s Not Dead”: instagram.com/p/CVLQ3yYj1lH 

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Oh, yes; it's time for us to talk about just how much of a virgin Edward is. But before that, we spend part one of the episode reviewing a Screen Rant article called "10 Times Bella and Edward Made Fans Cringe". We quickly realize that this article should ACTUALLY be titled, "10 Times Edward Was a Total Freak."

We’re here. We made it. It’s time for the scene that started it all: the Meadow Scene! And we are a team divided on it: while Matt thought it was a pretty good chapter with Things™ Happening, Syd was a little more cynical. The general consensus is EDWARD BAD. BELLA RUN.

Check out the Screen Rant article here: https://screenrant.com/twilight-saga-times-bella-swan-edward-cullen-embarrassing-made-fans-cringe

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Part one for this week consists of a mixed bag of topics: an update from Matt about its mom presents a new mystery for its history with Twilight. Then we talk way too long about how much we love What We Do In The Shadows and their recent homage to Twilight in Season 3, Episode 3: “Gail.” Then it’s time to take a trip to the past and revisit the final Twilight movie trailer after Syd reveals they got a Facebook memory about it from thirteen years ago.

It’s time for another retrospective! With the homework appropriately done this time around, we dive into Chapter 12 and lament the fact that we are officially halfway through the book without having A) made it to the meadow and B) met the Cullens. We also talk about some overarching complaints about the book and how they all seem to manifest perfectly in this chapter (including Bella’s terminal case of Main Character Syndrome).

Click here to watch the trailer we watched during part 1: youtube.com/watch?v=uxjNDE2fMjI

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We’re off the rails today after Syd neglects to do the homework and summarizes both chapters off the cuff. But before that, we talk a little bit about a dice maker called Kraken Dice, their insidious history, and their limited edition Twilight-themed dice sets. (And then we promptly fix those dice designs when we decide they’re not quite right.)

Then it’s on to this week’s reading, where we talk about Bella and Edward’s game of twenty questions, why they can’t just be normal with each other, and the book’s official namedrop! (Spoiler: it’s really dumb.)

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There’s a ton of stuff for us to talk about this episode! We recorded this on September 11th during Renesmee’s birthday and the weekend when the Forever Twilight in Fork Festival is happening. We talk about both things in great detail, as well as the impact of tourism on small towns and how we will probably never be invited as special guests to events like this.

Then it’s time to dive into Chapters 8 and 9, and boy, are they jam-packed. For Chapter 8, we talk about the horrible near-rape scene, casual racism in YA fantasy series, and Edward’s horrible, horrible rich boy outfit. For Chapter 9, it’s all about the ridiculous love-at-first-sight and how Bella is suffering a terminal case of Main Character Syndrome.

We also chat about our ongoing Twilight rewrite, which makes us increasingly sadder about how bad this book is.

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Our first solo-episode chapter! We kick things off by reading some specially curated Twilight shitposts in our first segment and discussing how some of them have a better plot premise than the book itself.

Then it’s on to discussing Chapter 7 and how it’s a whole lot of nothin’. We talk a little bit more about the importance of good stakes, reflect on some of our previous chapters, and talk through some ways to make what Stephenie Meyer is trying to do work.

We also talk a little bit more about our ongoing Twilight rewrite and pre-emptively (and ambitiously) set a Patreon goal.

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• Email: therevisitingpodcast@gmail.com

This episode is jam-packed! For our first segment, we get our first piece of real Twilight-related news and discuss the new mass market paperback covers and how horrible the graphic design is.

We then read two of the worst chapters so far and discuss how Chapter 5 could have been cut from the book entirely and how Chapter 6 exists under a shadow of racism and colonialism. It’s bad all day, folks. We also come up with a few new conspiracy theories and introduce the idea of Yandere Bella.

Please make sure to check out the Quileute Tribe and Burke Museum’s exhibit, Truth vs. Twilight: https://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight

Donate here to help the Quileute Tribe move to higher ground: https://mthg.org

• Twitter: @RevisitingShow 
• Email: therevisitingpodcast@gmail.com