I may not know what makes a good comedian, but I do know what makes a good father.

When Judd and I met in London — where his daughter Maude was playing the lead role of Sally Bowles in Cabaret — he told me this was the eighth time he'd seen it in three weeks.

While I don’t know what makes a good comedian, Judd certainly does. His advice to kickstart your writing: think of a topic and write down as many jokes and one liners as you can. Don't be scared if your first draft doesn't make you laugh out loud — keep going.

There are definite parallels between cooking and comedy. And paraphrasing his words, an aspiring chef should never panic if the first attempt doesn't taste quite right.

Eating and laughing; children and acting; movies and restaurants. We're here today in The River Cafe, and Judd and I will tackle them all.

Life is a cabaret.

Listen to Ruthie's Table 4: Judd Apatow out now - made in partnership with Moncler.

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Sam Taylor-Johnson is a close friend and director of Back To Black, the story of Amy Winehouse. Checking in with her during filming, she always reassured me it was intense. It was challenging. It was exhilarating. But, the best part was working with Marisa Abela.

One night a few months ago, Sam called me at home to tell me Marisa was in The River Cafe and could we send her a glass of champagne? When I told this to Michael, a friend visiting me from New York, he said, ‘Ruthie, we're not sending her a glass of champagne. We're going there right now to give it to her ourselves'.

This month, Back to Black opened in London. Today, we're here together in The River Cafe and when we’re done we'll have a glass of champagne.

Listen to Ruthie's Table 4: Marissa Abela made in partnership with Moncler.

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Imagine going to a close friend's birthday, months after the death of your son. Imagine realising it was too soon and telling the man you're talking to who you hardly know, why you need to leave. He takes your arm and insists on seeing you to the lift. Then he goes down with you until you get to the street. This becomes a ten minute walk to the car park. A climb up the stairs, him holding your hand tightly until you find your car. Driving off, you see him in the rearview mirror waving goodbye. I was this woman, and Tom Hollander was this man. And his act of tenderness and compassion has stayed with me for 13 years.

There are many stories about Tom Hollander. The best ones are told by him, not least his life in the day for the Sunday Times, the best in a great series ever written. He is a fantastic actor; White Lotus, Patriots, most recently captivating audiences as Truman Capote in Feud: Capote vs. The Swans. He sings beautiful songs to his six month old son. He's passionate about what he cooks and what he eats. Yesterday, he sent me a photograph with no caption of Fran Hickman with a large stainless steel saucepan obscuring her face, drinking the contents.

Imagine, being me in The River Cafe with Tom Hollander on a Tuesday afternoon, talking about memories of food, memories of friendship, family and all his doing. Then imagine how special this feels.

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“Across a garden from where Surgeon General Vivek Murthy and I are sitting, people are having Sunday lunch in The River Cafe. Walking into the room you hear the rise and fall of conversation and laughter, friends and families connecting over food.

At age 37 Vivek was appointed as the youngest Surgeon General of the United States by President Obama and is now serving a second term with President Biden.

During Covid in his gap between terms as Surgeon General, he might have researched illnesses – cancer, heart disease and diabetes but instead he chose what he saw as another epidemic of our time- loneliness.

He is a Surgeon General who sees love as a foundation for good public health. How rare to hear the word love as a solution to a diagnosis. He sees food as an antidote to loneliness, believing loneliness is like hunger and like thirst.

I am privileged today to talk with and listen to the Surgeon General and to hear how as a doctor, a father, a husband a child and now my friend. Food is connection and food is love.”

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The first time that Sarah Jessica Parker and I spoke, the tables were turned. She was on the phone in The River Cafe kitchen, and I was on a beach in Mexico. It was really hard to hear her with the noise of pots and pans, the crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean. But her dazzling warmth travelled the 6000 miles. If the phone connection was poor, the friendship connection was instant.

Last month, she was in The River Cafe with her family, and I was there with mine. They were sitting on table one, just a few feet from the pink wood oven close to the drama of the kitchen. And there she was, dazzling and warm. ‘How does all this work, Ruthie? How do you make sure that Matthew's ravioli comes out the same time as my asparagus bagna cauda.’ ‘This kitchen’, she said, ‘feels like the inside of a pinball machine with energy bouncing between the different stations. How do you all have the energy to do both lunch and dinner?’

Now, I suppose if I went backstage to Plaza Suite, the play that Sarah is doing here with her husband, Matthew Broderick, I would have similar questions. ‘How does this work, Sarah? What do you do if someone forgets their lines? And how do you all have the energy to do a matinee and an evening performance?’ Today we're here not miles apart, inches apart. Two friends together, surrounded by all of you great people. What a connection.

Listen to Ruthie’s Table 4: Sarah Jessica Parker in partnership with Moncler.

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If you're in politics, being outgoing, engaging and caring is part of the job. And these are the words often used to describe the Governor of New Jersey, Phil Murphy, and first Lady Tammy Murphy. But having been close to Phil and Tammy for as long as I have, I know this is truly who they are.

In 2008, Phil was the finance chair for the Democratic National Committee and as Americans abroad, we supported the presidential campaign for Barack Obama. Phil and Tammy worked day and night traveling to London so often we thought they lived there. Our conversations then were always about society and politics, the sense of public service that runs so deeply in them. Their eyes, though, really lit up when we discussed their four children.

In January, we sat down to have this conversation in the Governor's office in New Jersey; the state is deeply committed to, proud of and loves. And these are actually the very same words I would use to describe how I feel about Phil and Tammy Murphy. Committed, proud, two people I love.

Listen to Ruthie's Table: Governor Phil Murphy & First Lady Tammy Murphy in partnership with Moncler.

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There is a well-known cartoon in The New Yorker magazine depicting President Franklin Delano Roosevelt in his pyjamas, on his knees next to his bed, saying a prayer for his wife, the most active first lady in history. ‘Dear Lord, please make Eleanor tired tomorrow’. I can imagine the friends and family of Stephen Fry saying the same prayer, for there's very little Stephen doesn't do.

Actor, comedian, television host, director, a prolific writer with four novels, three autobiographies and countless columns in national papers. But should you ask, as I've been doing, the people who know him really well. What Stephen is best at, they will answer, being a friend. As for me, I love this man. All he stands for, and quite simply who he is.

And I would change the FDR prayer. I would say, ‘Dear Lord, we all need Stephen Fry. Please do not make him tired tomorrow’.

Listen to Ruthie’s Table 4: Stephen Fry in partnership with Moncler – out now.

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Fisher Stevens and I were recently brought close together by one of the greatest artists of the 20th century, Philip Guston, and one of the greatest footballers, David Beckham. Last September he was in The River Cafe with the producers of Beckham, the series he directed for Netflix. We agreed to have breakfast at my house and the next morning he arrived.

Walking up the stairs, Fischer stopped at the large pink Guston. It was hard to tear him away as he spoke about the painting and what it meant to him. A half hour turned into more than an hour as we talked about art we looked at, architecture we lived in and food we cooked. We agreed we would continue the conversation on Ruthie's Table 4 when I came to New York.

So here we are, this time in Fischer's house, connected through a love of Beckham, food, film, Guston and each other. Life is good.

Listen to Ruthie’s Table 4: Fisher Stevens in partnership with Moncler – out now.

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