Podcast: Hello Mother, Hello Daughter
Hosts: Drs. Allison Alford and Michelle Miller-Day
Date: 12/20/22
Title: “Why adding "Daughtering’" to our language is important”

About:

In this episode, Allison discusses daughtering as an identity and a role. Identities are the ways we think of and label ourselves. Roles, on the other hand, are ways of behaving in a given set of circumstances.

Borrowed language, can be problematic. Using the wrong word for an activity can diminish the importance of the behavior, or make it an invisible act. If we are not using the right language, we are not giving daughters their due credit or asking what could be better/worse about this family role. Likewise, overburdening the mothering role can create unreasonable expectations for motherhood.

Allison shares a description of daughtering from her research, which can be found in the book, linked below. In other words, daughtering describes the ways adult daughters provide for–or care for–their parents. It’s the way a daughter acts like a daughter. She provides care or support on purpose. Daughtering is so much more than a later-in-life activity. Think of the stuff daughters do for decades. Apply the idea of parenting (where a lot of work takes place for toddlers, teens, and adult kids), to adult daughters, and think of the work daughters are putting in.

So, why is it important to name and define daughtering? Words define our experience. Just ask Webster’s dictionary! Without definition and discussion, daughtering is not getting the attention it deserves. Pointing out daughtering means it matters. And mattering fills our souls. So, tell a daughter what great daughtering she is doing. It will fill her soul!

Hello Mother, Hello Daughter! Our tip today is to do your very best to make choices for yourself and your family that improve your life and family relationships. Thanks for joining us on Season 1 of our podcast. Look for Season 2 next year in the summer of 2023!

Citations:

Alford, A. M. (2021). Doing daughtering: an exploration of adult daughters’ constructions of role portrayals in relation to mothers. Communication Quarterly, 69(3), 215-237. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463373.2021.1920442

Alford, A. M., & Miller-Day, M. (Eds.) (2019). Constructing motherhood and daughterhood across the lifespan. Peter Lang. https://doi.org/10.3726/b10841. Purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Constructing-Motherhood-Daughterhood-Lifespan-Communication/dp/1433165716/

Walters, S. D. (1992). Lives together, worlds apart: Mothers and daughters in popular culture. University of California Press. Purchase here: https://www.amazon.com/Together-Worlds-Suzanna-Danuta-Walters/dp/0520086562

Credits:
Produced by Michelle Miller-Day
Graphic Design by Malia Niell
Social Media management by Ella Kodjababian
Music by Happy Summer by RomanSenykMusic

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