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Although there are not as many books and resources about it, the topic of friendship comes up often in therapy. In a general sense, problems with friends and friendship fall into one of two broad categories: problems with the relationship dynamics in existing friendships, or the lack of friends and meaningful friendships.

In this episode, we begin by discussing the evolution of friendship over the lifespan. We discuss how many people form their first close friendships and friend groups, and we examine how the nature and composition of these relationships will change as we pass through different stages of life.

By reviewing how life stages affect our relationships, we can begin to understand the problems in relationship dynamics that form in friend groups over time. Most often, tension with our existing friends arises when our lives take us in different directions. By allowing for grace and dedicating ourselves to communicating more openly, we can renew the bond of friendship and allow for a more flexible and resilient relationship that can grow and adapt to the changing circumstances in our lives. Friendships that last over time tend to allow for growth and change in the individuals who share affection and common values.

For people who find themselves without meaningful friendships, it can be difficult to make friends as adults, a fairly common topic in psychotherapy. First, we discuss how our attitude and social behavior influence our chances of making meaningful connections with new people we meet. While we are often worried about our own presentation, we need to learn to focus on and express interest in other people in order to facilitate connecting with them. Second, we discuss how identifying our values and seeking opportunities to engage in social activities that emphasize these important personal values will give us the best chance of connecting in meaningful ways with other people.

As with all of our relationships, the path to enjoying fulfilling friendships lies in expressing genuine interest in others and creating opportunities to engage in social activities that reflect our core values.

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Recorded and edited at Studio 970West, Grand Junction, CO.

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