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This week's guest, Eli, takes us further away from the light but closer to the light of day. Prepare for our BIGGEST pivot yet. This ep we talk about defining, refining, and refinding our recording space and thinking about your space. Where are you? Where are we? We hope to find out next week!

Dick Justice was useless. You knew you shouldn't have entrusted the agency to him. You file a quick complaint against him to your old friends at the DA on your trusty Blackberry 6210. Damn it, forgot your password. What was it again? You check your arm which is covered in words tattooed into your skin. Hopefully you wrote it down somewhere. Pepsi brand Oreos - Get em while they're hot. Thats right, you sold ad space on your body to fuel your blood donation habit. Remember to shop at Maurice's Meats. Maurice's Meats? Where have you heard that before? You type it into your Blackberry. Bingo. It's your password.

In this episode Chairman and his new best friend the Huntinator are up to their most nefarious scheme yet! Uh oh looks it has something to do with GULP Mummies!!!! Will they succeed in their evil plans, or will the entire show crumble under the premise of having to fit it in under 30 minutes? Why don't you take a seat and heat up nice warm cup of hot cocoa and take a listen. I can't promise Sean's audio editing will be gentle on the ears, but he tried his best.

The Huntinator backstory:

The Galaxy's most feared bounty hunter came from humble beginnings. As a young man, he had always wanted to become an actor. After countless auditions it looked look his dream may come true when he was attached to a major role in Animaniacs. However, after creative disputes with Yakko he was dropped from the project, and creative disputes with the Warners have especially dire consequences. The Huntinator struggled to find a gig in Hollywood after this. He soon returned to his hometown where he began attending Community College. In a remedial literature course The Huntinator read the SparkNotes for the 1924 short story The Most Dangerous Game, and his life was changed forever. He took his space car to walmart and bought a 12 gauge shot gun that very day, and the rest is history.

We're broke! If you've been paying attention it should be obvious. We haven't talked about caviar or hunting people on a private island in ages. We're looking to get back on top with some financial advice from the only person we know who has their own bank account. We flesh out our patreon and come up with some creative solutions to DISRUPT the podcast industry once and for all. Join us next week for our most frantic episode yet.

Dick Justice pulls his key out and begins rattling around in an ancient filing cabinet.

"Just because the make and model of your car changed between episode descriptions doesn't necessarily mean the Decepticons were involved but .... aha here it is!"

He exclaims as the dust of a million mummies flies out of the cabinet.

cough cough

"Yes, take a look at this."

He deposits a thick stack of papers in your hands.

"Its my new manuscript. Kind of a rock opera about my life."

You stare out the window wondering where everything went wrong.

"Just give it a read, oh and here is a link to my soundcloud where I have some first takes for the songs. Just imagine them with instrumentals behind them."

On the street below a corpo-wage slave buys a fresh pack of cyber stims.

You check your watch. Its 2pm.

🐢🐢🐢🐢🐀

SHR3DD3RS is a podcast by TMNT fans for Christians. Each week two dumb supervillains try to take over 90s New York by comparing two 90s cartoons and using what they've learned to figure out how to defeat those dastardly turtles once and for all.

This week we're joined by the turtle's own pizza delivery person - January! Hopefully they have the hot insider slice that will put us over the top. Join us as we maniacally laugh and discuss Street Sharks and Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron. We talk vehicles, villains, missles, and catch phrases galore in this hit new podcast that definitely will be around for a long time.

A fan is defined as an apparatus with rotating blades. Our biggest fan is defined as Sid.
Join us as we dig up some gripes about old episodes and polish some of our least licensable characters yet.
Technophobes beware - Review Review features some alarmingly realistic robot voices. Be warned!
Our fans have spoken and we've listened! (To one of them)

You take the kerchief and stroll into your old office. Your name's been stripped off and sharp letters spelling Dick Justice, Private Eye, are freshly stenciled in their place.
"Hey old timer, what brings you by?"
He gives you a once over while you do the same to the room. He's redecorated as well.
The details of the case are plain as day to a seasoned newbie like Dick.
He raises an eyebrow
"Decepticons?"
You nod.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Spo/orror! Fri/anic! Dre/ear!

New emotions will be found on this first episode of S////ASHERS

Richy Boy Benson and Seanathan the 3rd delve deep into the horror world and discuss how monstrous evolution can bring species and movies closer together. Our guests Blotch Stinkum (Sam) and Lacroix Pamplemousse (Jaila) bring two similar movies to the table today and battle it out to determine the King of Clowns. 🌿👑🌿

We play games, listen to a jingle or two, and write the spookiest script you ever heard. Will we cave under the pressure or descent into madness? Listen to find out!

Did you know Stephanie Meyer's The Host ends with a cross fade into Imagine Dragons? Just FYI

A 10 minute mile?
Nepotism?
Performing a haunting piccolo solo?
Maxed out effort values?
A flawless chewbacca impression?
Which of these is needed to be a guest on a podcast?
I don't know.
But the Hershey's corporation sure does.
Join Richard (with Sean) as he follows the "Shared Goodness Promise" all the way to the end
in this guest guantlet - guaranteed to weed out the weirdos and produce the perfect podcast guest TM.

You arrived at your chevy malibu too late to catch the criminal. A curious calling card was left on the dash.
A kerchief with the initials M. M. - a splotch of what might be blood along the edge. I think a case is in motion.

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

Have you ever noticed a media trend that all of a sudden pops up everywhere? Or things that seem like plagarism until you find they were developed in a vacuum? The more you look, the more you'll find it.

On Crab Attack your hosts Colonel Chomp and Richard Stauffer delve deep into the media world and discuss how this convergent evolution happens and how we can apply that to movie making as well as podcasting.

Can you put Emojis in podcast descriptions? Why did it ask for "Episode Artwork" won't it just use the Show's art? We're about to find out.

So pull up a spot on the beach, grab a net, and prepare for CRAB ATTACK.

Brought to you by Mr. Goodbar