• Soothing the Voice of Doubt

  • Jan 10 2024
  • Length: 14 mins
  • Podcast

Soothing the Voice of Doubt

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  • Summary

  • When facing a big decision or life transition, have you ever heard a voice in your head saying any of the following?: What if you’re not ready? What if you regret your decision? What if you have no time left for anything else? What if it wrecks your relationship(s)? What if you burn bridges? What if you never find something as good as what you have now? What if things turn out shitty like they’ve always been? What if your calling isn’t a calling after all but just an old habit speaking? What if you're just repeating your parents' mistakes? What if you really shouldn’t give all this up? What if you lose your job, have no way to pay the bills, and become homeless? What if you die? What if there’s backlash? What if nobody likes your ideas? What if people hate you for it? What if no one even cares? What if it’s just a waste of time? What if none of this matters? What if you give it your all and still, you fail? What if there’s something more important you should be doing? Are you really sure this is a good idea? Isn’t there another way forward? If you’ve heard yourself asking any of these questions, you’re not alone. So have I. In most great stories, after the traveler hears their call and before they embark on their journey, they pass through a phase that mythologist Joseph Campbell named the Refusal of the Call.[1] During the Refusal of the Call, community members, specters, and voices in the traveler’s own mind confront them with fears of unexplored lands and dangerous creatures that live outside the village walls. Although our callings promise something valuable to those who dare proceed, the journey is risky and without guarantee. None of us can predict with certainty whether we’ll reach our destination or survive the journey. We never know when we may encounter a landslide, rabid animal, or sudden sandstorm. And so, in this phase,  we encounter a Voice of Doubt. An inner Voice of Doubt is the part of ourselves that cries Yeah but… and What if…? in an attempt to keep us safe.[2] An outer Voice of Doubt is a person we care about who does not understand our calling and tries to convince us not to go. The greater the risk and the more we care, the louder the what ifs. Doubt, anxiety, and all other flavors of fear are universal experiences—our body’s normal, physiological response to risk and the unknown. They’re signs we’re on the edge of something new. Doubt itself is not the problem. What keeps us stuck in the face of doubt and fear are the ways we react to doubt and fear. Here Are Some Ways That People Commonly React to Doubt Get curious about whether you see yourself in this list: Charging forward without proper discernment. Rather than giving the Voice of Doubt a chance to share its concerns, the traveler pummels past the quiet whispers that say something might not be right and dives headfirst without taking a good look at the obstacles ahead or considering strategies that might better meet their needs. They invest lots of time and energy before they’re confronted with the downsides of the path they’ve chosen. Avoiding the Call. The would-be traveler occupies themselves with distractions, attempts to resuscitate projects and relationships that are no longer alive, and expends lots of energy avoiding their call. But the call does not desist. As much as the traveler tries to push their doubt into the shadows, it bounces back, often as floating anxieties, confusion, and reactions they later regret. They suffer from what Joseph Campbell called a dull case of the call unanswered.[3] Worrying, and worrying about worrying. Most of us have been raised with the myth that the only thing to fear is fear itself and that we should somehow get rid of our fear. And so, when the Voice of Doubt spins in worry about what might happen, another part tries to convince them to stop worrying, saying their fears are irrational,
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