Teal'c spends most of this episode blind inside of a cave until he perfectly Han Solos a bunch of dudes while still mostly blind. We return to the season 3 mines to yet again find slag instead of any precious metals here, but Hope assures us that good episodes are coming and season 4's banger after banger are right around the corner. For now Mr. Never Appearing Again gets a job at the SGC for hiding in a cave with Christopher Judge while the rest of the gang is getting clicker trained to become submissive and breedable in their little dog cages. I think that's what happened. Honestly, we just spent most of this episode riffing because there is absolutely nothing to talk about.

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Extended cut available on Patreon

How could he do this to us? How could Colonel Jack O'Neill, our beloved favourite son who has never done anything wrong in his life, betray our trust like this? When the Tollans refuse to share their weapons technology with the people of Earth, Jack comes up with the very British solution. Just fuckin' knick it mate. It's fine, don't worry they just leave one of their weapon disabling devices sitting in a wall outlet that you can just take. Look, if no one is guarding it and it isn't locked, it's free. Not sure why the Goa'uld didn't just take it when they were there, but oh well. For the millionth time, Jack is punished by being forced into retirement. Everyone is very upset at him. He's mean to Daniel and makes him cry. That's not okay. Everything seems like O'Neill will be drinking himself to oblivion until the end of time...until our best buddy Mayborne pulls out his best French anti-smoking ad kneel to bring our boy into the Special Crimes Division. I can't believe they just invented Evil SG-1.

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This was almost a Hope-free episode due to internet outages, but we got her in near the end! In this episode, Jack O'Neill is stranded on an alien planet where one of the locals uses a mind-altering substance in order to...oh for fucksake, we're doing this again? I'm really sorry, but one of the writers really just has a thing for Jack just being more or less sexually assaulted by women on other planets and forced into like a weird relationship with them. It's supposed to be portrayed as...romantic, I guess? Also, Teal'c gets stuck in a hole and can't drill his way out in like 4 hours. Jack can fish him out with a shovel and pickaxe, though. I think someone should have taught Kratos how to use the drill.

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After the mess that was one of the worst episodes of the series, we decompressed a little by watching a nice and easily digestable film. Nah, just kidding. We watched Stalker, the 1979 film adaptation of the Strugatsky novel Roadside Picnic. Hey, it's a good movie. Sierra wants to explore cinema from more countries, so where better to pick than one that no longer exists. We should watch more Soviet films. They were cooking something there. At least you'd hope so considering how long those bread lines were. Today we learn that the Russian man longs to run away from his family, his nagging wife, and artistically sepia toned life to hang out with a bunch of dudes in a field in Estonia. Join the apparently three sexiest men in the Soviet Union, who all look like your weird balding uncle, go increasingly more insane as they crawl through sewer pipes and get every kind of cancer filming near an Estonian chemical plant. Woke Hollywood would never kill their actors for art. Don't look up the John Wayne Genghis Khan movie. Obey the will of the Zone. Respect the Zone. Follow the instructions of the Stalker. Above all else, remember that the person who told you to play on Master difficulty because it's actually easier was spreading Imperialist Western propaganda to stop you reaching your true desires in The Room. Can a Russian leave the Zone? I don't know, but they sure as hell better fucking leave Ukraine already.

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I hated this episode. This episode made me want to do bad things. I think Blaze and Ryan felt the same away about it! In this episode, the gang is forced to have an SNL comedian inserted into their brain that will not shut the fuck up no matter what they try. I'm sorry, dude, I'm sure you're normally a funny guy when you don't have...this script. SG-1 enter the Stargate expecting a tropical beach paradise, but are instead gifted with amnesia followed by the aformentioned curse of balding man.

While we've seen some stinkers, but this is undeniably the worst we've seen since Omoroca. This really is a mixed bag of a show, but this is par for the course with a lot of weekly shows like this. Especially when you have a low budget sci-fi show with high ambitions that needs to occasionally phone one in to actually be able to afford to make the rest of the show. Things can only get better this season, I assume.

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Order in the court! It's time for another courtroom episode, this time heavily apeing on the 1989 Star Trek TNG Episode "The Measure of a Man". Crash landing on the planet of smug pricks who think they're better than us, Skaara returns from the worm mines. Here we have to ask one very important question. When a worm steals your brain, is it your brain or the worm's? RFK Jr. is eagerly awaiting the outcome of this case. Our favourite SG crew has to argue for Skaara to have his bodily autonomy back as the Goa'uld say "nuh uh". Behind the scenes, the Go'auld may not be here on good faith, which is something we are completely shocked about. The Goa'uld would be dishonest? No, not the body snatching worm people! I don't believe it. Stop accusing them of being up to no good.

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Sorry. I (Hope) was busy I was doing things (girl things) and riding rollercoasters

Frontline spot-on, for space force bases is the US's No.1 treatment for alien invasions. Simply use our patented method, developed by Major Samantha Carter to protect your base against pesky Xillians, Stragoths, Yerks and other pesky body hoppers.

Sorry we were all so sleepy. The national malaise of sleepy that hit the Uk had struck the podcast

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A long long time ago, there was Godzilla. Then there were suddenly more monsters, soon they were all Kaiju fighting. Then there were no more Godzilla movies. But one brave director dared to ask the question. "what if we had Godzilla, fighting every monster, also there were a shit load of twinks doing Martial arts and what if we cast Stalin in the movie?"

And everyone agreed it was a good question. So they made Godzilla Final wars. After all it was 50 years of Godzilla.

Then only one question remained.

"Wait why do Sum 41 have top billing ????"

Enjoy two hours of twinks, monsters, music that goes way too hard and the eternal quandry. Is this Kitamura's style or is it all Matrix references

This episode is a bit janky as our Soundbot decided to break on us. So we have to swap the two active drops in Blerp. Sorry about that. It's a good episode and despite what the Rotten tomato's ratings say. An amazing movie

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Special Guest Storm (not Hope's cat) and Ryan!