Episodes

  • Chapter 165

    Chapter 165
    Jul 15 2024
    Chapter 165 - Ftone Pole Fail. It's 5.10pm approx on 15th July 2024 and the end of stone clearing steps ever nearer, but that has always been the case, that's the nature of time. It's another disappointing clear as Richard is hampered by vegetation and lack of fitness and peanuts in his throat. But you have to liften anyway. Juft in cafe fome pearl of wifdom droppeth from his ftupid mouth. Just be glad you don't live in America where the FF don't kill in an honourable fafhion.
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    28 mins
  • Chapter 164

    Chapter 164
    Jul 9 2024
    Chapter 164 - Fodden. It's 5.24pm on 9th July 2024 and Richard Herring is on the cusp of his 57th birthday (do not send him nude pictures to celebrate) and has only a couple of weeks to go to clear the Stocean. Can he do it in time or will he have to commute? The rape seed pods have an unexpected and sexy (to perverts) surprise for Richard and the ditch has finally delivered big. It's good that we only do this podcast every now and again so that the quality stays very high.
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    23 mins
  • Chapter 163

    Chapter 163
    Jun 21 2024
    Chapter 163 - Going for Ftones!. It's 9:20am on 21st June 2024 and the spectre of the end of the podcast hangs over us all, but for now we plough on (no pun intended as this is a feriouf podcaft). There's medieval fongs and some dog poo and the possibility that Richard has been tricked into advertising someone during this chapter. It's very hot and the hemlock is scratchy and the stones are tiny. So bufineff as ufual.
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    23 mins
  • Chapter 162

    Chapter 162
    Jun 6 2024
    Chapter 162 - Mega Chocolate Button Madneff. It's the evening of 5th June 2024 and Richard Herring is high on life, but more pertinently high on chocolate buttons and the result is a podcast so unhinged that my first impetus was that no one must ever hear it. But in the end I think it's an important podcast to put out to warn younger listeners of the dangers of chocolate button addiction. Things are said that should not be said in a public place, but luckily they are said here on a podcast that no one listens to, so it's the same as just shouting them in the middle of a rapeseed field. Hardly any stones are cleared, just a man questioning if his life has had any purpose. And his life has almost certainly had more purpose than yours. So where does that leave you? Is it time to stage an intervention? And if so, who first? Me or you?
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    23 mins
  • Chapter 161

    Chapter 161
    May 30 2024
    Chapter 161 - Keir Ftarmer - It's 8.40am on 30th May 2024 and Richard Herring's sanity is resting on a knife edge, but join him as he sings too many medieval songs and tells you not to vote Labour and gives a preview of his new podcast about dog fhit. Do you need to send help? Are you even listening? If a podcast is made in a field of hemlock and no one downloads it, does it make a sound? What's the poem with hemlock in it? You can bid for stone-clearing items on eBay here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/herring1967
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    22 mins
  • Chapter 160

    Chapter 160
    May 16 2024
    Chapter 160 - White Dog Fhit. It's about 8.44am on 16th May 2024 and Richard's brain seems to be gradually atrophying into sludge. There isn't much time left for this ftocean but Herring is determined to Get Stone-Clearing Done. And at least 25 stones get nicely cleared during this fairly fcatalogical podcast. Why is he wasting his time doing this and why are you wasting it listening to it? We would have wasted it anyway.
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    37 mins
  • Chapter 159

    Chapter 159
    May 1 2024
    Chapter 159 - Buffineff Af Ufual. It's 16.48 on 1st May and there are a lot of stones to clear between now and our August deadline and that's without having a dog with the squits, a child with scarlet fever and a weird dizziness. But the stones must be cleared and boy are about 23 of them cleared today? Yes they are. Will rape seed ever be renamed? Can it hurt a dog? And how big is a gorilla's penis? All questions that are posed without being answered today. And great news for all fans of San Franciscan wrestlers/Batman villains.
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    22 mins
  • Chapter 158

    Chapter 158
    Apr 24 2024
    Chapter 158, Fame Coin, Different Fides. It's 9.01am on 24th April 2024 and a giddy Richard Herring is heading out to the Ftocean, desperate to finish his task before it is too late. And don't skip this one, it includes some important info on what to do with stones that are to your left or right and a desperate plea to make love to a man in a flat cap and a woman in a bobble hat, plus a memory test about leaders of the Liberal Democrats. The Ftone Pole is back and we're in a rape maze, so it really has everything.
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    39 mins