We sit down with Ralph Brewer to unpack what really sits underneath dead bedrooms, infidelity, and the quiet insecurity that many men carry into marriage. We talk straight about anxious attachment, “Mr Nice Guy” patterns, and how secure, connected couples protect intimacy by building a full life instead of clinging tighter.

• Ralph’s turning point after discovering an affair and becoming a single father
• why sex and intimacy become the biggest pain point for many men
• anxious attachment patterns and pairing with avoidant partners
• novelty, long-term monogamy, and why desire often drops without intention
• nice guy codependency, covert contracts, and hidden manipulation
• boundaries as attraction, without swinging into being a jerk
• how avoidance, control, and compartmentalizing can feed infidelity dynamics
• why men isolate after divorce and what it costs mentally
• building brotherhood and male friendship as a stabilizer
• quick wins like fitness and hygiene, plus the deeper vulnerability work
• scheduling sex, date nights, and getting kids out of the bedroom
• secure independence, self-regulation, and taking ownership of your choices
• where to find Ralph at helpformen.com and Dad Starting Over

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, Dr. Dave welcomes Dr. Alan Hawkins to explore the critical issues surrounding the current state of dating, its impact on marriage formation, and practical solutions to strengthen young adults' dating skills. Understanding these dynamics is essential for fostering healthier relationships and addressing the broader societal trends influencing marriage today.

Key Topics:

• The concept of the "dating recession" and its scope, including data indicating a decline in active dating among young adults.
• How contemporary cultural shifts, digital communication, and social skills deficits affect dating confidence and competency.
• The importance of developing social and dating skills early, including parent and educator roles; introduction of programs like the Utah Marriage Commission's Dating Ready course.
• Barriers to dating such as money, past negative experiences, and digital preference for virtual interaction.
• Strategies for building relationship grit and resilience to handle setbacks and rejection.
• The influence of historical norms versus current practices in dating and marriage, including the shift from duty-based to emotional connection-based relationships.
• Recommendations for societal, educational, and familial interventions to improve the dating system and support young adults.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We welcome UK marriage therapist Naomi Light, who shares how her relationship nearly ended and how couples therapy helped her and her husband rebuild a stronger “marriage 2.0.” We dig into the science and skills behind her Rewiring Love method so you can shift patterns, lower conflict, and create real safety with your partner.

• Naomi’s story of slow-building toxic conflict and the turning point that brought them into couples therapy
• The first therapy question that changed everything: how your partner fits your “script”
• Why relationship pain feels isolating and why we believe you should not carry it alone
• Chronic ambivalence and the cost of staying stuck in limbo
• The Zeigarnik effect and how unresolved conflict keeps “tabs” open in your brain
• Attachment styles made simple with anchor, wave, and island
• The Rewiring Love method: perspective shift, physiological shift, behavioral shift
• Two-person psychology and building a “couple bubble” for secure functioning
• Overt vs covert contempt and how both erode trust
• Research on conflict, stress, immunity, and why it can affect women even more

Naomi's Links:
https://naomilight.com/
https://www.instagram.com/naomilightcouplestherapist/

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We explore how desire works over time and why many couples crave sex that feels effortless, absorbing, and deeply connected. Dr. Emily Jamea shares research on flow state in sexual intimacy and the five qualities that help couples sustain passion in busy real life.

• Dr. Emily Jamea’s journey into sex and relationship therapy
• How flow state connects to sexual satisfaction
• The five desire “secrets” from Anatomy Of Desire: sensuality, curiosity, adaptability, vulnerability, attunement
• Why curiosity and novelty matter for long-term passion
• How small “challenge-skill” shifts prevent boredom and overwhelm
• Building attunement so connection becomes less talk and more real-time awareness
• Single-tasking and sensory focus to quiet split attention
• Planning intimacy without killing spontaneity
• Broadening the definition of sex to reduce pressure and increase closeness
• Sexual satisfaction as a predictor of relationship satisfaction
• How singles can cultivate these qualities within themselves

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We explore why dating feels harder, how on-demand culture reshapes expectations, and what AI companions and pornography are doing to our ideas of love. Dr. Brian Willoughby shares research, skills, and hopeful strategies for parents, teens, and singles who want real connection.

• falling dating rates and fading norms among teens and young adults
• benefits and costs of dating apps, including rejection mindset
• updated divorce data and how agency and skills shift risk
• on-demand expectations versus the effort of real relationships
• rise of AI companions and the “sugar high” of synthetic intimacy
• pornography’s impact on expectations, satisfaction and stability
• practical skills for starting relationships and building resilience
• guidance for parents on modeling, monitoring and positive messaging
• keys to stronger marriages through mutual focus and sacrifice

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We explore a marriage operating system built on small, specific habits that strengthen trust, make time for connection, and turn differences into strengths. Casey and Megan share tools like Love Lists, the KNOWN position, the 60‑Second Blessing, weekly meetings, and a repair-first apology.

• origin of Marriage365 and why access matters
• building a marriage operating system with habits
• tools versus therapy and affordability
• unsolicited apology framework for real repair
• Love Lists and the power of specificity
• weekly marriage business meeting and shared calendars
• scheduling sex without shame and creating ritual
• KNOWN position for focused, safe conversations
• modern pressures of comfort and convenience
• radical responsibility and curiosity over criticism
• leveraging irreconcilable differences as strengths
• where to start: the 60‑Second Blessing

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We share Kilie Tomadakis’s journey from early instability to adoption, entrepreneurship, and advocacy, and why strong families are the foundation for healthy communities. We explore her pageant platform, modern dating, communication skills, and practical steps to reduce distraction and deepen connection.

• early childhood instability, adoption, and faith shaping values
• lessons from farm work on grit and follow-through
• meeting her husband young and building a marriage
• choosing cosmetology, launching Alora Hair Co
• becoming a certified matchmaker and dating insights
• Mrs. Utah America: interview, swimsuit, evening gown, purpose over prizes
• founding Family Stability Alliance with free tools for families
• health journey with Hashimoto’s and redefining wellness
• concrete advice for young daters and long-term planning
• key to stronger marriage: increase connection, decrease distraction

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/

We explore how understanding neurodiversity can strengthen love, reduce conflict, and turn differences into design features rather than deficits. Dr. Matthew Zakresky shares science, stories, and practical tools to navigate communication, sensory needs, and executive function in marriage.

• one in five partners as neurodivergent and why it matters
• brain differences in form and function backed by scans
• direct versus indirect communication and meta-communication
• sensory needs at events, home, and intimacy
• “easy is hard, hard is easy” executive function gaps
• introvert–extrovert energy and risk–reward lenses
• assuming positive intent and separating intent from impact
• strengths focus, loyalty, creativity, and info-dumping as intimacy
• designing interdependence and interest-based community
• statistical thinking to normalize conflict and repair
• actionable adaptations voice memos, checklists, environment fit
• resources and where to find Dr. Matt’s work

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com/