Submarine and A Roach — Nigeria’s funniest podcast and the #1 comedy podcast in Nigeria — presents “Detty December is Human Trafficking,” hosted by TMT & Koj.

Every December, Lagos becomes a conveyor belt of bodies, bottles, and bravado—an economy of daytime festivals that start too late for the sun, beach days that turn into boat-hopping on the Lagos Lagoon, and selfies in the red-light district otherwise known as Lagos traffic. It’s our annual rite of passage: equal parts pilgrimage and punishment.

The boys build a Detty December checklist: stuffy clubs with famously disorderly queues; Russian roulette with fake alcohol; concerts that begin at 3 a.m. and stages that collapse by 3 a.m.; and the not-so-subtle deployment of Nigerian police by private citizens—like Pokémon.

There’s wedding culture, too: the old era of joyful gate-crashing is fading under inflation, replaced by a dystopian hustle where IJGBs and culture tourists buy access to “authentic” Nigerian weddings. TMT’s PSA is simple: if you purchase a ticket to crash a wedding because of an IG ad made on Canva, expect hands. Koj counters that the market will protect anyone willing to buy tables at weddings like it’s Rhythm Unplugged.

Climate anxiety hovers over the festivities: rain bleeding into November, potentially signaling higher heat levels in December, and a city with a track record of not solving environmental crises—before the conversation pivots to Sanwo-Olu at Lagos Fashion Week, modeling a “sustainable” aesthetic. You can’t spell APC without AC, so APC will cool the globe.

The hosts resurrect the word “chassis”—a car term upgraded into a compliment—to show how Nigerianisms morph in real time. Ultimately, like Detty December itself, language is just infrastructure for what we really want: to be seen, to be inside, to say, “I survived.”

Join Koj, TMT & Mayowa on Submarine and A Roach—Nigeria’s funniest podcast and Nigeria’s #1 comedy podcast—for Episode 234, “Meek & Horny.” It’s a high-energy catch-up that zigzags from Lagos banter to Toronto life, politics, and pure nonsense—nimble like Simone Biles.

The boys open with a chaotic drink check (green tea, Heineken 0.0, Lasena Water, and tales of expired zero-alcohol beer), plus a medicinal detour into Aboniki and why “stiff” needs context. From there, Koj’s moving diaries turn into a love letter to rent-controlled Toronto apartments, outrageous building amenities, and plotting bike rides on waterfront paths.

We get an Ibadan classic: the gardener caught doing thirst traps in the boss’s pool—a WhatsApp-era parable told in Yoruba (“wé”) about boundaries, class, and comedy. Then it’s culture and current affairs: royal family headlines, U.S. threats toward Nigeria, and why media framing around Boko Haram is messy—plus a reminder to value reporting over outrage cycles.

Internet culture shows up too: OnlyFans as a business, a Pornhub developer on LinkedIn, and a stray alté pregnancy rumor that somehow invaded dreamland. The episode closes on fatherhood, friendship, apartment hunting, and the eternal tension between being—well, meek & horny.

Join Tmt, Mayowa & Koj on Submarine and A Roach — Nigeria’s funniest podcast and Nigeria’s #1 comedy podcast — for Episode 233, “L is for Lekki and Q is Kwara,” a wide-ranging conversation that moves from Lagos nightlife to terrorism, tech, and stand-up comedy without taking a breath.

This episode starts with stories from Tmt’s weekend driving around Lagos with non-alcoholic beer. Keeping things halal, the guys dive into literature and Boko Haram, reflecting on how books and storytelling shape how we understand violence, radicalization, and Northern Nigeria.

The conversation shifts into AI and technology — specifically, how many folks are leaning on AI for human interactions and decisions, including Twitter fights. They also get into modern Nigerian social media discourse, public outrage cycles, and the fact that delusion is a winning strategy on Nigerian Twitter.

There’s a run on stand-up comedy, and why getting on stage is low-key a great exercise in learning humility.

The boys round things out with Google Trends, deep-diving into what Nigerians search and who the biggest culprits are for said searches.

It’s social commentary, pop culture, politics, AI talk, and Lagos nonsense — all in one show. Tap in to Episode 233, “L is for Lekki and Q is Kwara,” now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.