There is a strange tension when we want so badly for the people we love to support us, but want to shield them from the pain at the same time. This is a beautiful, terrible kind of love.

In this conversation, Kate and bestselling writer Suleika Jaouad discuss:

• What it is like to be the one suffering—all the guilt and shame and rage and mercy and grace
• How we can create better economies of love around those who need it
• The toll illness takes on those around us

This episode originally aired in 2021, but is one of our all-time favorites for an honest conversation on being a cancer patient and how to support people in your lives who are undergoing treatment. Kate ends with a blessing for those who feel like their problem is too much to handle—a blessing if you feel like "the bad thing."

If you liked this episode, you might also love:

• Suleika Jaouad on living between the kingdom of the well and the kingdom of the sick
• Tig Notaro on being the luckiest unlucky person
• For When You’ve Been Diagnosed Support Guide
• You are Not the Bad Thing Printable + Phone Background
• A blessing for the lives we didn’t choose
• A blessing for keeping our hearts soft when everything is broken

Don’t miss an episode. Sign up here to be the first to know about upcoming events near you, podcast guests, and more.

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.