Life Coach Tamara Lichfield joins Courtney and Carley to teach the difference between sympathy and empathy, the symptoms of codependency and the format for setting boundaries. This episode is Part 2 of 3 within thse Connection Prep mini-series, airing April 2023. 

Referenced Quotes:

“I think so often, what people misunderstand about boundaries is that the point of setting them is not to change other peoples behavior or convince them to value different things – it’s to advocate for yourself, regardless of how they respond.”

• Daniell Koepke

"Agency is our superpower!"

• Tamara Lichfield

Referenced Resources:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Show Timeline: 

0:00 Guest and topic introduction; recap of Part 1

3:45 Sympathy vs. empathy

15:00 Codependency, areas and symptoms of codependency: 1) self-sacrifice, 2) tendency to focus on others’ needs, 3) a need for control, 4) difficulty recognizing and expressing emotion

22:00 Avoiding enmeshment and codependency by cultivating self-esteem and quality self-care

27:30 Boundaries: step 1—Define values (examples of values: family, success, faith and spirituality, honesty, affection, friendship, compassion, finances, appreciation, integrity)

33:00 Boundaries: step 2—Questions to consider when setting boundaries: 1) Do I have control to create the outcome I want? 2) Do I have control to create the outcome I want with some help? 3) Do I need to make a request to create the outcome I want? 4) Do I have zero control over the outcome?

38:15 Format for setting boundaries and examples: “If X occurs, then I will do Y”

43:00 Concluding thoughts and outtakes