jD is back and he's still a bit glum. Transcript:[0:22] Hey, it's JD here, back for another week of introspection and reflection on grief, depression, and the pathway to mental wellness, all the while nourishing my soulwith the music and art of the late indie rock singer songwriter, David Berman.How are you doing, motherfuckers?I am hopeful that you are all tucked away in a cocoon, ready to transform into beautiful butterflies.[0:58] And spread your beauty throughout the world. That would be my wish for you. So there's that.I am having a day.I just talked to my therapist, whom I haven't spoken with in about a month, just based on scheduling.She was taking a course and she was on vacation and then I was doing some things and it just made it difficult to sync our schedules together until today.I'll see her again next week.But it was a tough appointment because I am fucking low and I am overcome with dark thoughts about finding relief is ultimately where we settled.In an ideal world I find that in you know in this space, in this realm.[2:19] But when you feel this way, it makes you not necessarily think straight and practically.I mean, I've got two little girls. They're 14 and they're 12.They're not so little anymore.But the collateral damage would be there.And I can't justify creating that sort of collateral damage just to feel relief.And so that's effectively off the table even though, there are days when I want it to be in the center of the table on a lazy Susan so that I can spin to win, grab what I need,and fucking rid myself of this mortal coil.[3:19] It's not good. It's not good.I'm on a new drug, but I'm ratcheting it up, starting out on a really quite low dose.Within three weeks, I'll be at the recommended dose.So that's good. But hopefully I get something from this relief -wise.I'm also looking for a meaningful project, and this is a meaningful project.In fact, I just got an email from Corey, and it made my fucking day.It came during therapy, and I read it to my therapist even, because it's just, it's unbelievable that any of you would take the time to shoot me an email or.[4:12] A text or communicate with me on Facebook or Twitter or anything like that.Just to say, hey, hope you're doing okay. And what you do in creating these podcasts, it does matter.It does matter and it matters to me in the case of Corey or whomever else reaches out.That's so gratifying. That's so gratifying.I can't help but be dubious and think, okay, so who put you up to this, Corey?But that's just the way I am.That's how I am. I am naturally skeptical of positive feedback.It made it real tough when I was trying to perform, when I was trying to do comedy and act and perform.That was really tough.Cause you gotta take the good with the bad, right? You gotta take the good with the bad.[5:40] And if you can't, while then it can be crippling and it can be a challenge just to get out of bed.[5:59] I used to do a joke and the joke was, that I spend all my energy just trying not to wake up.It's fucking exhausting is what I'm trying to say.I'm going to keep fighting, but I'm going to need some help.[6:33] And that's not a call for help from you, although if you can shoot me a letter at jdmeetingmalcomus .com, it would mean the world.But again, this is between me and fate.So there's that.[11:21] Don't step on it, fucker. All right.That was We Are Real from the American Water Record.Just a tremendous record overall.I found earlier this week there was a gentleman from Scandinavia somewhere and he had written a four -page essay on American water and I believe you can find ittranslated in English I haven't had a chance to track it down and read it yet, but it's probably worth reading.If you're looking for insight into the songs and the overall themes of the record, you know at this point that this is just not something we cover.I'll speak to what I know when I can, but this guy, David Berman, is over my fucking head.And, you know, a song like We Are Real, you take for granted because it's an album cut on just a fantastic record, but it belongs.It absolutely fucking belongs. It's very good.[12:50] Don't know much more than that uh after the fucking monstrous people and blue arrangements, it's a step...
