jD is back and the show is now out on Wednesdays!Transcript[0:24] Hey, it's JD here, back for another week of introspection and reflection on.[0:28] Grief, depression, and the pathway to mental wellness.All the while nourishing my soul with the music and art of late indie rock singer-songwriter David Berman.How the fuck are you doing, everybody?I am okay. Despite my recent disappearing act, in the midst of season two, I am a-okay.In fact, I went to visit my sister in British Columbia, and then I went and visited my friend Tim in Portland, and overall had just a wonderful time.Just a real wonderful time.And I made it back, and I thought, I need to get an episode out.So that's what I'm doing.So there's that. I'm looking out my window right now. It is gray.It is full-on winter. Here we are in the new year.It's January, and I think that...[1:36] I'm experiencing the opposite of what I normally experience at this time of year. I'm feeling pretty good.After several weeks of shittiness and not feeling great, I can tell you that I feel pretty good. And it's got to be this new drug I'm on.It's got to be. uh it's concurrent with my getting this new drug that i am feeling the way i'm feeling i had to titrate up from 25 to 100 because apparently it gives you a rash if you just startat 100 uh which is bananas but these drugs are bananas they truly are you know going in and lifting the hood on your brain and rewiring shit and uh yeah i don't know how how to feelabout that but it's working you know i'm in the front seat and i'm turning the car over and the engine is fucking starting it's fucking starting and this is great news for people who like greatnews news. So there's that.[2:51] I have begun work on the Pavement Top 50 podcast.So that's going to be Mondays. So because it's going to be Mondays and Fridays actually as well, I'm shifting the Berman project to Wednesdays.So going forward, Berman will be out on Wednesdays and we'll go from there.We'll start today and we will go from there. I'm sorry that I'm always doing this kind of housekeeping.You know, it seems at this point that I should be more together, less of a fuck up.[3:32] You know, all that good stuff.But I'm not. I am still the JD that is uncool and underqualified.And yet here I am doing what I'm doing. So there's that.I can tell you that, you know, on my trip west, I went out on a shoestring and I just leapt.I just leapt and said, this is going to work out. This is going to somehow work out.And you know what? It fucking somehow worked out.I had just enough money to make it work.And I didn't go into debt to do this trip. So that's, you know, fucking great. Right.Because money is definitely, I'm learning a big, big thing with me.A trigger, I suppose. Or a result.Maybe is a better way to put it. It's a result of me being triggered.I tend to try and spend my way out of things, my feelings, on ridiculous things, and things that will give me an instant dopamine hit. So...[4:53] You know, I get that rush of excitement and adrenaline and just that good feeling, you know, that really good feeling.Speaking of good feelings, I've cut way down.[5:10] Well, December was a rough month.September and October, no, October and November, I cut way down.I think in November I had 30 drinks.In December I had 90, so I was up by 200%, which isn't great, but I feel like I've got things under control.I feel like I've got both hands on the wheel to keep the driving metaphor going.And that's good. that's a good feeling to feel in control of your you know fucking idiocies um and yeah i am i'm feeling in control it's uh it's good now i i had to scrape the bottom to gethere i'm not gonna lie to you i was really fucking low uh which is part of the reason why i didn't record but i've been been told by several people, those are the episodes that you like thebest.Those are the ones where the raw and honest JD comes out and you get to hear, how I'm dealing with things, and oftentimes you can relate to how I'm dealing with things, so that's good.As opposed to me coming in and jumping through hoops and saying, oh my god, everything is fantastic, everything is great. ah.[10:37] Don't step on that shit jd you gotta you gotta leave it ...
