Part 1 - There’s the unspoken societal rule that women are not “suppose” to announce their pregnancies until they are out of the first trimester because that means they are past the risk of their pregnancy ending tragically. So what happens when you did everything right, planning when to get pregnant, taking the prenatals, going to all of the appointments and then, halfway through growing your much loved and wanted baby you get devastating news about that baby’s health and life expectancy? No one talks about the babies that are unhealthy before they are born. No one talks about all the things that could go wrong. No one talks about the gut-wrenching decision about whether to bring a baby into the world where they would know nothing but pain and complications or to end their suffering before they are even born. Lauren is here to talk about her experience with all of those things that aren’t talked about for pregnancies.

**CORRECTION TO INFORMATION MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: Turners syndrome was mentioned in reference to Trisomy 13 and being incompatible with life. This should have been Patau Syndrome. This was mentined in the early genetic testing that screens from Trisomy 13 (Patau Syndrome), Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome), and Trisomy 21 (Downs Syndrome).

Lauren lives in New England with her husband, athletic 8 year old step son, an almost 4 year old love bug son, and her rainbow baby girl who is 3 months old. She has her masters degree in the healthcare field and in 2022 found herself in the position to have to learn about what it means to end a pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR).

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Child loss

A personal note from Lauren:

I am telling my story for multiple reasons. First of all, my baby boy’s life deserves to be remembered and cherished, even if it was cut drastically short. Also, to discuss a topic often filled with shame, secrecy, and stereotypes. To me, the word “abortion” does not appropriately describe my situation, since the pregnancy was planned and so deeply desired to complete our family. Termination For Medical Reasons (TFMR) is a topic many people do not discuss, but it needs to be. Unfortunately, not all pregnancies yield healthy babies or are safe for carrying women. This is not a topic medical professionals prepare women for, but so many women find out their babies will not survive or have a gray diagnosis that will severely impact their daily life. These women are left in a lose-lose situation. I lost my beautiful son and a large piece of myself that may never return. I hope doing this podcast provides awareness about medical terminations that many people haven’t thought about previously.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my son, who I call Baby March…. Mommy will always love you. I know you are with us everyday, even if we can’t physically see you. You will never be forgotten.

Click play now and help further deep, meaningful connections about conversations that are typically avoided.

Resources discussed

https://www.postpartum.net/

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