Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach.

Bio:

Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.

Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.

Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute
• 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach
• 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy
• 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy
• 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy
• 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution
• 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy
• 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy
• 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships
• 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid
• 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships
• 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble
• 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships
• 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start
• 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin
• 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute

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In this episode, Eli Weinstein interviews Chiemi, a leading expert in infertility and IVF. They discuss the misconceptions and assumptions surrounding infertility, the ongoing emotional and physical toll of the journey, and the importance of compassion and support. They also explore the dynamics of support within couples, the need for active listening and validation, and the challenge of balancing grief and joy. Chiemi emphasizes the importance of honoring one's experience and creating spaces for vitality and self-care. They also discuss the lack of recognition and ritual around the grief of infertility.

Key Ideas:

• Infertility and IVF are often misunderstood, and there are many misconceptions and assumptions surrounding these experiences.
• The emotional and physical toll of infertility and IVF is significant, and it is important to acknowledge and validate the grief and trauma that individuals and couples go through.
• Support within couples is crucial, and it is important to listen to and validate each other's experiences actively.
• Balancing grief and joy can be challenging, but it is possible to hold space for both emotions and allow oneself to experience happiness alongside the pain.
• Creating spaces for self-care, vitality, and emotional well-being is essential during the infertility journey.

• The grief of infertility is often unrecognized and lacks the rituals and support that are typically associated with other forms of loss.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Discussion of Misconceptions about Infertility

03:24 The Unrecognized Grief of Infertility

08:55 The Importance of Conversations about Loss and Fertility

15:01 Supporting Each Other in the Infertility Journey

19:12 Navigating Fear and Avoiding Turning Against Each Other

28:24 Creating a Warm and Loving Space in the World of Infertility

30:38 Letting Joy In and Balancing Grief and Happiness

34:02 Shifting the Mindset from Guilt to Acceptance

37:25 Recognizing and Honoring the Grief of Infertility

38:53 Conclusion and Appreciation for the Work of Supporting Infertility

Bio:

Chiemi aka Miss.Conception Coach is a published writer and Infertility Trauma + Grief Support Specialist. She lends her unique voice and expertise to help people better understand, validate, and process their infertility journey. She uses her platform to raise awareness about the emotions felt and the reality of the mental health issues people experience. Through her unique counseling style, she helps people understand, and heal from their experiences. She offers worldwide individual and couples teletherapy. Connect with Chiemi on Instagram and visit her website to learn more.

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist specializing in adult friendships, discusses the importance of friendships and social connections in our lives. She shares her journey of researching adult friendships and the challenges of building and maintaining them. Dr. Kirmayer emphasizes the need for knowledge translation and making evidence-based information about friendships accessible and relatable. She also explores the dynamics of childhood friendships and how they differ from adult friendships. Dr. Kirmayer provides insights on overcoming social anxieties, being open and vulnerable in friendships, and the importance of self-talk and positive cues in building and maintaining connections.

Bio:

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and influential speaker on human connection and social support.

With over a decade of research on the science of friendship, Dr. Miriam is revolutionizing the way we show up for, mentor, and connect with each other.

Dr. Miriam is one of the first and only clinical psychologists to specialize in friendship and shares guidance on navigating relationship changes and challenges through her writing, courses, and online community.

As a speaker and consultant, Dr. Miriam helps people, teams, and organizations to bridge the connection divide and readily build resilient, supportive relationships. She currently sits on the Mental Health Advisory Board for Wondermind, a mental fitness company co-founded by Selena Gomez and consults for The Foundation for Social Connection.

Dr. Miriam regularly contributes research-driven insights and relatable advice to top outlets including The Atlantic, BBC, Forbes, The New York Times, Time, and more.

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer received her Ph.D. from McGill University and lives in Montreal, Canada with her husband and their two children.

Connect with Dr. Miriam @miriamkirmayer and learn more at MiriamKirmayer.com.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

03:44 The Power and Importance of Adult Friendships

08:48 Navigating the Challenges of Building and Maintaining Friendships

15:38 The Role of Self-Talk and Positive Cues in Building Connections

20:53 Embracing New Connections and Initiating Friendships

28:00 Recognizing and Embracing the Evolution of Friendships

32:46 Gender Differences in Friendships

39:19 Men's Need for Intimacy and Self-Disclosure in Friendships

42:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts