We all know that feeling of “I’ll do it tomorrow” whilst being fully aware that we won’t do it tomorrow, or even the next day. Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we just making our lives harder for no reason?

In this episode as well as meeting our old friends rationalisation and denial we are also welcoming back the repetition compulsion. And James Bond and Stan Wawrinka get a mention too! What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.42) Procrastination makes us uncomfortable

(3.06) Rationalisation

(5.38) A false sense of tomorrow

(6.38) Repetition compulsion

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Sibling rivalry isn’t just something that we leave at home, only to be brought out again at family events and Christmas. The way that we learn to be in the sibling dynamic can have a profound impact on how we relate to people as we grow and develop in life. Sibling rivalry can exist for only children too.

In this episode we are not just picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again, we are having a think about Oedipus and the Murray brothers, whilst taking a trip to Cromer beach. It’s a packed show!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.14) What about Arabella?

(2.25) Sibling rivalry in our everyday lives

(3.18) The Oedipus Complex

(6.08) Defence mechanism bingo

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Power takes on many shapes and forms. There is the power wielded over us by those who govern us and those who hold an authoritarian role in our lives, and there is our own personal power. The power that is unique to us, and yet this is the one that we are often not in touch with or find it hard to hold on to.

In this episode we are picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again and bringing Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey in to illustrate a couple of points. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.12) Projection

(4.43) “What do you want?”

(6.44) Projective Identification

(8.22) Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey

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There are many different reasons as to why we can’t leave a relationship, friendship or situation. And so many times we beat ourselves up for not being strong enough. Maybe we feel we lack confidence. But what if it’s actually our minds trying to protect us? What if it’s something that’s – ironically - trying to keep us safe?

In this week’s episode I consider what might be going on for us when this is happening, and how we can give ourselves some grace. And what song will be going round your head by the end of it? The Communards “I never can say goodbye”? Or will it be a Kylie classic?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.40) A Kylie classic

(2.57) Anna Freud

(3.09) Denial

(4.46) Rationalisation

(6.11) Intellectualisation

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How often do we say something and then worry that we have said the wrong thing? Often we will then run this over and over in our minds, thinking about if we have upset other people or what we could have said instead. We can tie ourselves up in knots about a particular conversation or event, frequently catastrophising about what people now think about us or if we have damaged our friendship.

In this episode I explore why this universal tendency occurs, how we can become more aware of it and what we can do to help ourselves in this situation. We also have a moment on a plane with Charlton Heston too!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.55) Anxiety neurosis

(3.36) Conversion hysteria

(5.16) Psychical working over

(6.21) Repetition compulsion

(6.51) Playing back responses from our earlier lives

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I’m excited to welcome my next guest to the show today; Dr Jill McGarry. Jill is a Clinical Psychologist with 28 years of NHS experience in psychological support for people with mental health issues. She has built up a wealth of knowledge and experience at improving sleep for several client groups, including setting up a reasonable adjustment sleep apnoea clinic for Greater Manchester. Currently Jill runs a private practice for improving sleep whilst working part time in the psychology department at Manchester’s NHS Sleep Service. Over the past two years Jill has carried out numerous sleep awareness courses for wellbeing teams in NHS trusts and ICBs; schools/ college forums; fitness/ yoga/mindfulness coaches; counselling organisations; medical staff; care and respite home managers; leadership and management coaches; private organisations (property developer and bakery); organisations with nightshift workers. Recently Jill has advised Baywater and NHS England on a project to develop materials for people with sleep apnoea and trained Clinical Psychologist and psychotherapists for Counselling Foundation, Take A Seat and in Dubai for PILL. Throughout this work Jill has supported many people who have had sleep problems as they go from exhausted to energised.

Jill and I are going to be talking about all things sleep related, and how this huge part of our lives can impact our health and our wellbeing – and how we feel about ourselves. We also touch on what might be going on for us unconsciously in our sleep, in our dreams. So sit back and enjoy, and hopefully look forward to some better nights’ sleep afterwards!

You can get in touch with Jill at:

info@sleepbetterdoctor.co.uk

www.sleepbetterdoctor.co.uk

LinkedIn: Dr Jill McGarry

mobile no: 07768068070

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(4.10) 1 Big B and 3 tiny Ts

(21.21) Timing when you have coffee

(29.36) Sleep debt

(30.20) The importance of naps

(36.34) Teenagers and sleep

(42.48) Dreams

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No is a small word, so we often think we need to add extra words after it, to make a complete sentence. But this just isn’t true. “No” is a sentence in itself. We often tie ourselves up in knots trying to explain our no, which defeats the point, as the clarity becomes diluted. In this episode I’m exploring why we often feel the need to justify our “no” and what we can do to stick to our decisions. There’s also a bit of a Bond theme running through this episode too – can you spot all of the references?

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(0.45) People pleasing

(1.29) Sean and Roger’s weekend plans

(4.16) Rationalisation

(6.20) Looking for chinks in the wall

(8.30) Invitation for this week

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We all know the days when we take a deep breath and metaphorically put on our armour. It’s not fun. But why are we doing this? What’s happening when we feel like we need to defend ourselves against people, situations or the world in general? In this episode I’m exploring why we might be reaching for our shields and what steps we can take to learn how to look after ourselves better, so we aren’t dragging that armour around with us!

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.06) Freud or Jung?

(1.32) Freud and Defence

(5.15) Freud and Jung’s “bromance”

(6.02) Jung and the persona

(8.53) Invitation for this week

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