The yellow brick road is a fabulous analogy of the different journeys in our lives. But how tempting could it be to take a short cut? We all have our own personal witches that we want to avoid, but would we even do this by cutting some corners?

In this episode I explore what might be going on for Dorothy and her friends as she makes her way to the emerald city. I introduce a different defence mechanism and share the motivation behind the name of the podcast. And James Bond seems to be queuing at the Hanger Lane gyratory system?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.36) Motivation for the name of the show

(3.38) Key points for there being no shortcut on the yellow brick road

(6.31) Denial

(7.18) Isolation

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Do we know why we do things? What can our reasons be? We have been told over the last few years that we should have “purpose” or know what our “why” is. Yet sometimes that’s not so easy to do. And how do we feel if we are the ones struggling to find out our “why” in a world that seems to respond best to those of us who seem to know?

Join me as I consider just what might be getting in the way of us finding out. Have your defence mechanism bingo card at the ready!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.25) Getting rid of the zeitgeist

(3.46) Identification

(5.19) Idealisation

(6.30) Displacement and sublimation

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In this episode I am exploring why we might be consciously – or unconsciously – avoiding looking in certain areas of our lives. It won’t surprise you to learn that we will be delving back into the world of defence mechanisms. What you might not be expecting is a nod to Melanie Klein, as well as our usual check in with Freud.

My mother’s home decor gets a mention too! Have a listen and see how this all comes together.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.45) What might be going on for us?

(2.28) Melanie Klein

(4.59) Repetition complusion

(6.50) Diane might be comfortable in her routine

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Following on from a previous episode on sibling rivalry I’m delighted to introduce my next guest to the show, Natasha Rose. As well as being an accomplished and celebrated businesswoman in a traditionally male industry (construction) Natasha is also a talented amateur actress.

Natasha is starring in an upcoming version of the Jane Austen classic, Sense and Sensibility, which highlights the challenges we all face when putting other people’s needs before our own. Austen’s Elinor and Marianne beautifully portray the family dynamics that can play out in these scenarios and the impact that these can have on how we feel. Natasha and I discuss what might be going on here, particularly for her character, Elinor. There’s also some defence mechanism spotting too.

To catch Natasha and the rest of the cast in this fabulous performance you can find out more and buy tickets at https://tolethorpe.co.uk.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.53) Say what you feel

(7.15) “I require so much”

(11.38) Defence mechanisms in overdrive

(12.35) Rationalisation

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We all know that feeling of “I’ll do it tomorrow” whilst being fully aware that we won’t do it tomorrow, or even the next day. Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we just making our lives harder for no reason?

In this episode as well as meeting our old friends rationalisation and denial we are also welcoming back the repetition compulsion. And James Bond and Stan Wawrinka get a mention too! What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.42) Procrastination makes us uncomfortable

(3.06) Rationalisation

(5.38) A false sense of tomorrow

(6.38) Repetition compulsion

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Sibling rivalry isn’t just something that we leave at home, only to be brought out again at family events and Christmas. The way that we learn to be in the sibling dynamic can have a profound impact on how we relate to people as we grow and develop in life. Sibling rivalry can exist for only children too.

In this episode we are not just picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again, we are having a think about Oedipus and the Murray brothers, whilst taking a trip to Cromer beach. It’s a packed show!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.14) What about Arabella?

(2.25) Sibling rivalry in our everyday lives

(3.18) The Oedipus Complex

(6.08) Defence mechanism bingo

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Power takes on many shapes and forms. There is the power wielded over us by those who govern us and those who hold an authoritarian role in our lives, and there is our own personal power. The power that is unique to us, and yet this is the one that we are often not in touch with or find it hard to hold on to.

In this episode we are picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again and bringing Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey in to illustrate a couple of points. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.12) Projection

(4.43) “What do you want?”

(6.44) Projective Identification

(8.22) Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey

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There are many different reasons as to why we can’t leave a relationship, friendship or situation. And so many times we beat ourselves up for not being strong enough. Maybe we feel we lack confidence. But what if it’s actually our minds trying to protect us? What if it’s something that’s – ironically - trying to keep us safe?

In this week’s episode I consider what might be going on for us when this is happening, and how we can give ourselves some grace. And what song will be going round your head by the end of it? The Communards “I never can say goodbye”? Or will it be a Kylie classic?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.40) A Kylie classic

(2.57) Anna Freud

(3.09) Denial

(4.46) Rationalisation

(6.11) Intellectualisation

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