It is not often that I meet someone, living a very full personal and professional life, and who has figured out how to spread around the weight of emotional labor. But after speaking with my guest, Patricia De Fonte, I walked away from that conversation thinking that, wow, here’s a role model for delegating, dialoguing, and anticipating what’s coming up.

Patricia De Fonte is the brains and heart behind De Fonte Law PC, where "Estate Planning With Heart®" isn’t just a tagline—it’s the ethos of the practice. Listen in on our conversation and you’ll hear how Patricia practices the principles of work and home equality in all of her affairs. My favorite example … many years ago Patricia read an article on the work of the household, prompting a new narrative in her in own home. Rather than asking her sons and husband to “help” her with the chores, she reframed and said that the “house needs help.” To function properly, the house needs help to the laundry done, toilets scrubbed, etc. So ‘help the house’ is now my rally cry to GSD!! {get stuff/sh*t done!}

At her law firm she institutes planned time off from clients, shortened work days, and scheduling boundaries. With an LL.M in Estate Planning, Probate, and Trust Administration and a JD from Golden Gate University, plus a BA in Communication from Santa Clara University, Patricia’s academic credentials are just the beginning.

Eight years ago, she set out to create a law firm where happiness is a priority—for her, her team, and most importantly, her clients. And it’s working! Patricia has not only contributed a chapter to a Wealth Counsel book, but she’s also been named a Super Lawyer multiple times and even snagged the Better Business Bureau Torch Award for Ethics. When Patricia’s involved, you know you’re in good hands!

patricia@defontelaw.com
www.defontelaw.com
415-735-6959

Dr. Loleen Berdahl and Dr. Christie Schultz

Since its inception, the Emotional Labor podcast has delved deep into the mental load of emotional labor as it exists within the home. Our guests have included authors and researchers whose work intersects with the many invisible layers of emotional labor at home.

In this episode, we are thrilled to discuss a fascinating series of articles published on Canada’s University Affairs website, authored by Loleen Berdahl and Christie Schultz. Loleen Berdahl is an award-winning university instructor, the executive director of the Johnson Shoyama Graduate School of Public Policy (Universities of Saskatchewan and Regina), and a professor and former head of political studies at the University of Saskatchewan. Christie Schultz is the dean of the Centre for Continuing Education and an associate professor in the Faculty of Education at the University of Regina.

Loleen and Christie examine how the mental load of emotional labor manifests in the academic workplace and higher education institutions. Their research highlights that this weight disproportionately falls on the shoulders of women and diverse faculty members.

In our conversation, we explored various facets of care management and the ethics of care when students present emotional and mental health challenges to faculty. We discussed how DEI committee work and campus decolonization activism often rely on faculty support, and how students tend to see their female professors as 'safe' providers of care and support, driven by societal stereotypes.

Our discussion ranged from applying care ethics in the academy, identifying challenges and solutions, understanding institutional support, and envisioning the future of care in academia. We concluded with a thought-provoking question: What would happen if we centered care in all aspects of life?

The full series of articles is available on the University Affairs website for those interested in delving deeper into this crucial topic.

https://universityaffairs.ca/career-advice/the-skills-agenda/leading-with-care-emotional-labour-and-academic-leadership/

https://universityaffairs.ca/career-advice/the-skills-agenda/the-skills-of-care-navigating-emotional-labour-in-academia/

https://universityaffairs.ca/career-advice/the-skills-agenda/acknowledging-the-emotional-labour-of-academic-work/

Dr. Susan Landers retired from her work as a neonatologist – a career that spanned 34 years. But alas, although “retired” Dr. Susan found, “I just could not sit still.” Sharing compelling stories from her medical practice with her book club members, as she shouldered the heavy load of raising a family, her cohort encouraged her Susan to write about her experiences. As such, Susan went from birthing babies to birthing a book, and in 2021, So Many Babies: My Life Balancing a Busy Medical Career and Motherhood. was born. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my conversation with Dr. Susan  – smart, thoughtful, and reflective, she shared the evolution of how she came to understand how she grew a successful career, stayed married, and raised 3 children. She describes her journey through the decades. 

Dr.Susan’s husband, Phillip, a practicing physician in his own right (Pediatrics) did a lot around the house when the kids were young but Susan recognized that she was carrying the bulk of the physical work and the mental load of emotional labor. She said it took her 10 years to figure out how to ask for help because before asking for help she was growing resentful of all that was on her plate, and Philip did not intuitively know how to partner with her in the household. And so she had to learn to identify the need and ask for help. The second decade of marriage was all about helping Philip learn to listen, instead of wanting to fix things. Which brought the couple to a new and more sustainable way to communicate.  

In this, her fourth decade of marriage and just a few years out of a fulfilling career, Dr. Susan Love speaks to women in the struggle to find their footing amidst a culture that expects women to do all the work. To that end, aside from her book, Dr Landers offers cool, and very accessible Ebooks – free to download – resources for parents – to discover real conversations about, and real hacks for, finding that footing, and feel steady on solid ground.