Am I the arsehole? It's sometimes difficult to tell.

I remember times I reacted with indignant anger, fuming at how I'd been treated. How DARE this person do this to me!

And then, with reflection and maybe new information, I'll start to see how I've been complicit - or maybe directly responsible! - for what happened.

Today's Friday Fink Tank topic comes from the amazing Celeste Halliday, who shared a useful frame to think about the ambiguous situations we find ourselves in.

We are both the villain AND the victim.

Being able to dispassionately look at things through this lens can be enlightening.

Although, in the Fink family home during our early teenage years, it's probably fair to say I was exclusively the villain and Col the victim.

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In this Friday Fink Tank Col takes aim at people who whinge about tax.

More specifically, he invites us to think of tax not as something being taken away, but instead the opportunity to live in a society of abundance and prosperity.

We enjoy and expect generosity at the micro level. It seems to get murkier at the macro.

A five minute high-level chat can't cover the nuance and politics and complexity of the topic, or the struggles people are facing. So please, be civil in the comments!

See? This doesn't make any sense! Yet...

Conventions exist for a reason, and you should break them only very rarely, and only very deliberately. Putting the punchline first is uncommon, and as you can see, it's jarring when it happens.

Conventions make processes easier.

Greeting people, playing team sport, going to dinner parties.

We know what to expect, and we know what’s expected of us.

In this Friday Fink Tank, Col and I swap chairs to chat about the usefulness of convention.

Driving someone else’s car is easy, because the accelerator and brake are always in the same place. But it’s annoying when the indicator is on the wrong side.

Convention can reduce friction and focus attention where it’s wanted.

Your quirky font will not make your book ”stand out” it will make it unreadable.

If people using your website have to wait or squint, you risk losing them.

AND

Convention can bore people, entrench privilege, and alienate people. If you’re going to break convention, do it in service of your audience. For example, Callum McKirdy’s website breaks convention in service of accessibility for neuro divergence. Nice one.

I held hands at a concert with a blind man named Andrew. What happened next was hilarious.

Should I feel bad about that clickbait headline? Probably, but I stand by it.

I’d gone to the Ocean Alley concert on my own, at the wonderful Forum Theatre in Melbourne. I love going to gigs with friends or my brothers, but the solo outing does leave room for serendipitous encounters.

And so it was.

I’m so glad I got to experience the show with Andrew, a warm and friendly man with the courage to ask for what he wants. In this Fink Tank Col and I laugh about the cultural norms that were comedically broken that night.

Unspoken in this conversation are the gendered safety issues around this topic. Patriarchy and misogyny have a lot to answer for here.

I asked Andrew for consent for the photos, and to share the story.

And I won’t forget that night anytime soon!

If you’d like to hear Col’s ocker go-kart bogan accent circa 2009, head to 4:05.

George Bernard Shaw said “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”.

Regardless of what your job is, effective communication is critical. Being an influential, compelling communicator amplifies the value of almost every other skill you've got.

We discuss this idea at length, and by the end of this five-minute Fink Tank episode rather ironically reach the conclusion that until you can communicate your idea in 30 seconds, you should practise more.

Colin Ellis modelled great multi-channel communication in 2018. Special nod also to Chad Littlefield for being a great communicator and generous elevator of others.

If you want to be a great communicator, consider this motto:

“If everything is practice, nothing is wasted.”

In this episode we delve into Jehan Casinader's rule for growth from his excellent recent LinkedIn post.

Jehan says the only way to grow is to say yes to opportunities and try new things.

He’s definitely right, but we also don’t want to fail spectacularly!

We want to:

⚖ Push our boundaries AND respect our audience

🍾 Bring unrefined fizz AND remain professional

💪 Take opportunities AND protect our ego

We risk momentum if we bomb too many times. But waiting until you feel "ready" is a recipe for stagnation. So don't wait too long, and don't say no too often. Do the thing.

As Stephen Wright said beautifully "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it!"

And if it goes wrong, as Jehan says, it was practice.Go you good things!Jehan's post: https://lnkd.in/g6nwDQSU

Lisa O'Neill says your energy introduces you before you do. Col says people buy your energy before they buy your services.

Last night, The Fink Tank went to Lisa's ENERGY book launch in Melbourne and sat with an enraptured crowd as Lisa held court for 90 minutes.

As funny as Taylor Tomlinson, as charismatic as Angelina Jolie, as flamboyant as Elton John and as approachable as Graham Norton, Lisa epitomises the efficacy of the ideas in her new book Energy.

She really does shift the energy of a room when she enters it. She really does shift your energy when you're in her presence. And you really do want to buy whatever she's selling whenever she offers it!

If you're running a business and wondering how to get more sales, think carefully about the energy transaction... no-one buys your services without buying your energy first.

Most of us give applause far more often than we receive it. This lack of practice, combined with a lifetime of humility conditioning, means when we DO receive applause we suck at it, suck the life out of it, and ruin the moment.

Many of us have a similar aversion to receiving compliments.

Tall Poppy Syndrome has us terrified of being torn down, and our risk-averse brains want to hide and deflect.

When we shy away from those moments - be they raucous applause or a gentle compliment - we stymie joy for the giver of the praise. We shut down connection and appreciation.

That’s a bit of a waste, isn’t it?

And a bit egotistical. We prioritise our own cautious safety over receiving another’s joy.

Rude!