Hump Day! The Tiger Woods saga continues, as cops confirmed what we were all thinking. There's a new piece of Mets merch that the Sopranos would love, a Florida man turned into a literal coke head, and the star of Reacher is back in the news again showing his softer side! With gas prices spiking, people are once again siphoning it. If you fall for any April Fools pranks today, there's a way to recover. And we got another listener email from a guy whose wife still hangs with her ex!

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We put Dave to the test with isolated drum tracks today, but can't post licensed music on the pod so you're getting a shorty today! Tiger Woods is actually profiting from his latest DUI, some guy found a genius way to prank McDonald's, Will Ferrell was on a podcast and left the host speechless with his parenting style, and there's a new side hustle out there for people taking advantage of airport chaos. Plus, a hapless fiance attempted a marriage proposal on a cruise but the employees screwed it up!

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We're back, and the Final Four is set in college basketball! There's a new way to make your computer sound horny, a robot in Chicago failed spectacularly, and Tiger Woods' history repeated itself in a most embarrassing way. Cocaine-fueled sharks are swimming in the Caribbean, and we had one heated debate today over the proper way to mount toilet paper!

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Happy Fryday! The major league baseball season kicked off yesterday and there were some lowlights off the field. Nickelback teamed up with rapper Megan Thee Stallion on Cheetos behalf, there's a quicksand warning out west, and if you own an Airbnb - BEWARE! We crowned our "Asshat of the Week," and in lieu of Five Guys doing away with their french fry cups, we hit the phones to survey the best and worst fast food french fries out there!

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We had a fun show today! Dave is contemplating attempting the "9-9-9 Challenge" come baseball season, the musician Afroman is a free man after a lawsuit brought against him by the cops, and drugs were found in a Barbie! The internet's favorite monkey, Punch, apparently has a girlfriend now. And we hit the phones to tackle the BIG question the internet has been pondering the past week: who comes first? Your mom, wife, or daughters??

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It's Opening Day in the MLB, the Sweet Sixteen begins in the NCAA basketball tournament, and some dude just got arrested for the 98th time! Natty Light wants you to have a better lawn, some baggage handler wants every guitarist to cry, and we tried to solve another listener problem!

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We had a lot of wacky crime stories today - everything from a former 1st round NFL draft pick shoplifting to a quadruple amputee who allegedly shot someone in his car while driving! Spring Breakers may want to think twice about twerking, a pack of dogs in China have gone mega-viral, and we hit the phones to share our worst dreams about work!

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Back at full strength! Rick returned, and Dave's bracket is officially busted. That Justin Timberlake DUI from a couple years back just had the bodycam footage released, some seniors are taking their happy hour desires to Congress, and a talking pig is making headlines. A Dominos franchisee has declared bankruptcy and we honored the memory of Chuck Norris in memes!

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