This week I’m thrilled to sit down again with Esther Goldstein, a New York based LCSW and trauma therapist (also known as the trauma therapist’s therapist), to talk about why it seems like we as a society are so uncomfortable when folks speak up about personal injustice…and why we are so quick to villify the victim.

On today’s podcast, we are diving in to how the word "victim" became an insult, how victim-blaming protects the witness's sense of stability, and how the perpetrator and their enablers use Projective Identification, The Bystander Effect, and The Just World Bias as part of their tool kit to keep painting the victim as a villain…simply for voicing the harm they have endured. Above all else, we are digging in to what you can do, when people refuse to help or even to hear you, in order to make peace with those who would stand by, watch, and deny to your face…the ways in which you were and perhaps still are in fact, being victimized.

Have you ever seriously considered ending your relationship with a parent? If you think that sounds inconceivable, you wouldn’t be alone...but you would be wrong. In the U.S., there's a growing trend of adult children choosing to go "no contact" with their parents, meaning they sever all communication and interaction, often permanently. The exact stats on permanent no-contact are difficult to find and can overlap with temporary estrangement (estimated as high as 25% of US adults), but we do know both of those figures are growing.

So why would someone, in the absence of physical violence, choose to go no-contact with their mom or dad? Jinjara Mitchell is beginning to shed light on that with her recent film, The Ornament. A filmmaker, actress and media personality, she has been no contact with her mother for almost 10 years now. The Ornament is based on her experience at age 10 of completing a homework assignment describing what her mom did with her and her siblings at Christmas. A well-known author and motivational speaker at the time, Jinjara says her mom was a totally different person when nobody was watching.

The Ornament is an honest window in to how far a child will go to protect the image & ego of an abusive parent, how much she would endure for a glimmer of maternal love….and what it takes to give yourself permission to walk away from a parent-child relationship that despite the white picket fence, turned your first 18 years into a fight for survival. After you hear her story, if you didn’t before, you will see very clearly why a child might one day grow up to justifiably cut their parent entirely out of their own life.

What kind of a learner is your child? What kind of a learner were you? How much does it matter?

There is a theory that teens these days are increasingly disengaged in school, and that it matters far more than we think. My guest this week is Jenny Anderson, coauthor of THE DISENGAGED TEEN, a toolkit for the parents of checked out and stressed out teens, to get them engaged in their own learning. And in their own futures. Anderson is an award winning journalist for The NY Times, Institutional Investor and The Atlantic to name a few...and a mother of teens herself.

On this week's episode we are looking at whether things are any different now than they were say 25 years ago…and why Jenny and her coauthor Rebecca Winthrop say phones are NOT the only thing to blame.

Whether your kid is a resister, a passenger, an achiever or an explorer in school…there’s a lot more going on than they may show us…and we have a lot more influence than many of us seem to think.

Have you ever considered the science of luck?

What if we are all super lucky, and just fail to notice the opportunities around us every single day? What if luck is really just opportunity, and it's your own mindset that’s blinding you to how lucky you were meant to be? What if it doesn’t have to be so hard?


My guest this week is Nicole Perrone, a renowned mortgage banker better known as the Billion Dollar Banker, whose keynote "The Science of Luck" is just the new take on life that many of you need to hear today. I know I did. And despite any evidence to the contrary….I’ve always considered myself to be the luckiest girl in the world.

When was the last time you tired yourself out trying to explain for what feels like the hundredth time how your feelings were impacted by someone's behavior, twisting yourself into a pretzel to convey why their behavior was not okay, only to have them fail yet again to see where you’re coming from? Have you ever wondered whether they’re not grasping the point because they can’t….or perhaps because they actually just don’t want to? You might be fighting a losing battle against your partner’s Empathy Deficit.

The always nuanced and truly dialed-in Dr. Peter Salerno joins me again this week on the podcast to discuss the concept of an Empathy Deficit, and the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion. Does the empathy deficit exist on a spectrum, can it be cured…and how much does it matter if your partner never really gets where you’re coming from? Is it enough for them to at least try to learn how to 'go through the motions'?

According to Dr. Salerno, there are ways to make sense of what is or is not being made available to you in your relationship; but the key isn’t just determining what cognitive/emotional potential is sitting across from you at the dinner table; its figuring out whether that is enough for you...and what you’re going to do about it.

For more on Dr. Peter Salerno: https://www.drpetersalerno.com/

For our first interview with Dr. Salerno on Discerning Between Connection And Attunement: https://youtu.be/3XK4kNzuMV4

@DrPeterSalerno #empathydeficit #empathyandcompassion #empathy #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Narcissism #NPD #Narcissist #ToxicRelationships #traumabonds #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #HealingAfterAbuse #PeterSalerno #borderline

In every life there are some turning points. Moments when we need to change course, or face the consequences. To finally live life the way we always suspected we wouldn’t be allowed to. Or at least that nobody would approve of. For Deirdre Abrami, a sixth generation psychic intuitive on her father’s side who grew up in a home where ‘psychic’ was a dirty word…that journey was sparked by a near fatal brain aneurysm she was diagnosed with, after giving birth to her second child.

Deirdre was told she had 30 days to live, she was faced with the possibility of leaving her babies behind, and she realized she had no choice but to STOP HIDING from the truths she had always known. And thank goodness that she did. The now proud psychic intuitive is helping people with everything from answers on love and life to training in how to tap into their own knowing, and finally get themselves on their own…destined path.

On today’s podcast we are talking about the experience of a cerebral aneurysm just days after giving birth, the corporate career she left behind, the angels she always saw and knew she could trust, and what in the world it is like….to date when you’re psychic.

You won’t be disappointed by this one.

If you want a good reason never to leave the house again, ask people for their worst online dating story. Trust me.

A few years ago, Sean Cook, and IT industry veteran who had been horrified watching his 60 year old mom being catfished and disappointed routinely online…decided to do something about it. He launched the Tea App, which is not a dating app but rather a "dating safety app" for women. Tea lets you complete background checks, reverse phone number searches and reverse image searches with the click of a button through the safety and privacy of the app, and it also gives you access to a chat forum where you can share your experiences with other women who, just like you, are out here looking to date intentionally….and safely.

Since launching Tea, Sean has learned a lot about what women endure in the modern dating world, and it goes far beyond his mom. On today’s podcast we’re talking about the statistics of fraudulent profiles and romance scams, and the pushback on the app from men who get very uncomfortable about the idea of a public forum where women can share the Tea on their behavior. Sean says the Tea platform receives about one legal threat a week from somebody who doesn’t appreciate having their behavior called out on the app.

But Tea is not backing down. Because he reasons, and I agree…that truly, there are tons of wonderful men out there looking for love. And if you have nothing to hide….then you really should have nothing to worry about.

For more on The Release Podcast: www.TheReleasePodcast.com #podcast #podcastepisode #dating #datingadviceformen #datingsafety #datinghorrorstories #teaapp #backgroundcheck #thereleasepodcast #datingadviceforwomen #datingapps #tinder #tinderswindler #catfish #fakeprofiles #loveandrelationship #datingstories #womenssafety #onlinedating

What exactly qualifies you as a grown up? Paying your bills? Managing your emotions? Turning 21?

Raffi Grinberg has some thoughts, which he taught in a popular course at Boston College called Adulting 101, and which he has now turned into a book, published last month entitled "How to Be a Grown Up: The 14 Essential Skills You Didn’t Know You Needed (Until Just Now)." Raffi is a business leader, author, and educator and was also cofounder of The Constructive Dialogue Institute along with Jonathan Haidt.

Raffi is interested in helping today’s young adults build the confidence and resilience required to be a fully functional, and hopefully satisfied grown up. Because as a former career coach, he saw up close that while we’ve got tons of so-called highly trained adults graduating these days, many newly minted adults are more educated, and more lost than ever.

From more on Author Raffi Grinberg: https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Grown-Up-Essential/dp/1797231073