Ioco returns for the epilogue of New Moon to make G and Shannon laugh so hard they run out of air! Not only does Jacob reappear with Bella’s slutty, slutty motorcycle, but we meet All-Caps Charlie, handwave some casual death threats, and learn more about Stephenie Meyer’s alternate New Moon timeline. Plus, the unveiling of the dramatic FINAL chapters of Euphoria & Agony and Dark Noon!

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Laura is back just in time for the Edward Cullen Apology Tour in New Moon chapter 24! She joins G and Shannon as they answer bold new questions such as “What did Edward just shatter in the living room?” and “Should women have voting rights?” Plus the thrilling conclusion to the scholarship outtake, penultimate installments of Dark Noon and Euphoria and Agony, and an exciting Bella’s Book Club update!

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Brand new guest and Robert Pattinson expert Lice is here to help G and Shannon discuss both New Moon chapter 23 and the complicated filmography of a deranged little freak. They also read letters from listeners (with bonus fanart!) and discuss Edward’s ongoing cuckold fantasies, Bella Swan positivity (are G and Shannon stans now?), the triumphant return of tear-slurping, and whether Edward Cullen is, in fact, Kafkaesque.

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Fan-favorite guest Lilia is BACK to help G and Shannon decode the true, hidden meaning of New Moon chapters 21-22 as they unpack religious symbolism, creepy horror movie vibes, unhinged airport behavior, and the MILF mafia—all with a side of grand theft auto (again!) Together, they ponder deep questions like “do humans deserve rights?” “was Edward almost killed by a 2006 Italian airport worker strike?” and “should Alice slap Bella?”

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Beth is BACK to help G and Shannon read about one of the most homoerotic plane trips of all time in Chapter 19 of New Moon! Also discussed: totally relevant tentacles, how NOT to write exposition, the rich inner life of Business Man #1, and Grand Theft Auto (again.) It’s time to settle the question once and for all: Bella’s death wish vs Bella’s biting kink—who will win?

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KB returns to help Shannon and G read New Moon chapter 18, plus TWO New Moon bonus outtakes that grant G’s monkey’s paw wish. Hijinks abound as Bella and Jacob have a Capital M-Moment, furry flags emerge, and Rosalie and Edward’s cursed game of phone tag puts the fun in “funeral.”

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Brand new guest Anamarie joins G and Shannon for New Moon’s “one-sided slumber party!” It’s Chapter 17, the best character is BACK (your hosts may be slightly biased), and Bella is…horny? This slumber party just took a turn for the Ashnikko. Plus Twilight merch news, surprise cameos, a bromantic Euphoria & Agony and a (melo) dramatic Dark Noon, and Shannon calling someone a slur (consensually.)

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