Touched By Suicide

By: Jean Mellano & Nicole DeBoom
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  • Summary

  • You are listening to’Touched by Suicide’, a special podcast series inspired by the memory of Steve Tarpinian, a prolific figure in the sport of triathlon who positively impacted so many. Steve died by suicide in 2015. Our goals are to raise awareness about and decrease the stigma surrounding suicide and mental health issues. And to let you know that you are not alone. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255. (800-273-TALK) It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and is staffed by certified crisis response professionals. Please be sure to share this podcast with anyone who needs to hear it right now. Thank you for listening.
    Copyright 2022 All rights reserved.
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Alternative & Complementary Medicine Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology
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Episodes
  • Epilogue with Jean Mellano, Michael Lovato & Nicole DeBoom

    Epilogue with Jean Mellano, Michael Lovato & Nicole DeBoom
    Mar 15 2022
    Trigger warning: This episode may include discussions about suicide, mental illness, substance abuse and self-harm. If these topics are sensitive to you, proceed with caution. It may also contain strong language and is intended for an adult audience. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988. When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary. The current Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, even after 988 is launched nationally. Veterans can now dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veteran Crisis Line. Suicide warning signs can be found at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (Afsp.org). Today we come together to connect and share. Jean Mellano is the founder of the Touched by Suicide series & Steve Tarpinian's surviving partnerMichael Lovato is the narrator & a friend of Steve's who was deeply touched by his tragic suicideNicole DeBoom is the series co-collaborator with Jean, podcast engineer & interviewer This project was originally concepted as a single episode podcast with the objective of destigmatizing suicide and mental health. It turned into a 10-part series plus this epilogue with a much greater message to share - that suicide is so much more pervasive than we ever imagined and that we are not alone in our suffering. We learned so much through creating this series & we hope you did too. Notables: In the weeks and months before he passed, Steve contacted several people that he was close to, but did not normally speak to on a regular basis. It almost seemed like he wanted to say goodbye, or "clean up his side of the fence" if there were any unresolved issues. Everyone grieves differently. When a person is grieving one lost due to suicide, some loved ones may be unintentionally hurt by the actions taken by others who are also mourning the loss.Adam Sud’s ("An Attempter" episode) quote "Suicide is not about someone trying to end their life, suicide is someone trying to end their pain" explains so much.Kevin Hines ("A Golden Gate Jump Survivor" episode) had instant regret as soon as his hand left the railing. Did Steve have that regret before he took his own life?As difficult and painful as it is to hear the stories of those touched by suicide, it helps us "get it". It is human nature to be silent about the cause of death when it is suicide. This in turn propagates the stigma.We combat helplessness by being helpful.Suicide does not discriminate. There is no one profile type that can describe someone who may take their own life. People who die by suicide can be in the depths of despair or they can be at the pinnacle of their life (having it all).There are so many who are silently suffering.Steve’s legacy is helping others. He helped so many tap into themselves.People cannot relate to mental pain like they can relate to physical pain. We tried to finish the Epilogue on a happy note, but we were not able to. This podcast is not light listening and also is very painful for many to listen to. It was also very painful for us to create. In the podcast, Michael jokingly alluded to Steve's voice being not so great. To bring a smile to your face, click on any of these youtube links below to see Steve at his best - creative, funny and playful. The Touched by Suicide Podcast Series demonstrates that there is so much collateral damage resulting from suicide. The interviewees bravely revealed their vulnerabilities and raw feelings. Hopefully, this project will inspire conversation about suicide. That in itself will help reduce the stigma. Thank you for listening, for your support and for sharing with anyone who needs to hear this right now. Medical Advisory: The Run This World Podcast & the Touched by Suicide series does not provide crisis, counseling or direct services. The information and resources contained on this site are not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please consult a mental health professional before making changes to your treatment plan. Please be sure to share this podcast with anyone who needs to hear it right now. Thank you for listening. Music credit: "Forgiveness" by Sensho from Upbeatt.io
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    37 mins
  • A Golden Gate Jump Survivor - Kevin Hines

    A Golden Gate Jump Survivor - Kevin Hines
    Mar 12 2022

    Trigger warning: This episode may include discussions about suicide, mental illness, substance abuse and self-harm. If these topics are sensitive to you, proceed with caution. It may also contain strong language and is intended for an adult audience.

    If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988. When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary. The current Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, even after 988 is launched nationally. Veterans can now dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veteran Crisis Line.

    Suicide warning signs can be found at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (Afsp.org).

    Today we hear the perspective of a man who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. His name is Kevin Hines. He was 17 years old when he decided to take his life. Kevin shares his story, including the fact that he regretted his decision the second his body left the rail. He openly discusses his personal mental health issues, how he has learned to live with, but not act on, his suicidal feelings, and how connections and love form his foundation. Today Kevin travels the world sharing strategies for positive mental health, some of which you will hear right now. Please note - All of the resources Kevin shares are listed in the show notes for future reference.

    Resources:

    https://www.youtube.com/kevinhines

    Award-winning video "It was an instant regret"

    "The Art of Wellness 2.0" includes incredible daily life guidance

    HINESIGHTS Podcast

    Kevin Hines website

    Medical Advisory:

    The Run This World Podcast & the Touched by Suicide series does not provide crisis, counseling or direct services. The information and resources contained on this site are not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please consult a mental health professional before making changes to your treatment plan.

    Please be sure to share this podcast with anyone who needs to hear it right now. Thank you for listening.

    Music credit: "Forgiveness" by Sensho from Upbeatt.io
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    55 mins
  • A Widow - Jean Mellano

    A Widow - Jean Mellano
    Mar 10 2022
    Trigger warning: This episode may include discussions about suicide, mental illness, substance abuse and self-harm. If these topics are sensitive to you, proceed with caution. It may also contain strong language and is intended for an adult audience. If you are feeling suicidal, thinking about hurting yourself, or are concerned that someone you know may be in danger of hurting himself or herself, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988. When people call, text, or chat 988, they will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how their problems are affecting them, provide support, and connect them to resources if necessary. The current Lifeline phone number (1-800-273-8255) will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, even after 988 is launched nationally. Veterans can now dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veteran Crisis Line. Suicide warning signs can be found at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (Afsp.org). Today we hear the perspective of a surviving partner. Her name is Jean Mellano. Steve and Jean met in 1981 and were together for over 33 years. Theirs was a love story and a tragedy. In 2013, Steve started slipping away and his depressions were becoming more frequent and longer in duration. Even though he sought professional help, he could no longer make decisions and was no longer capable of running his business. For any survivor who is listening, this episode is so powerful because Jean shares her struggles before and after Steve’s death. Like many survivors, memories continue to surface at often unexpected times. After she finished this interview, Jean remembered something important that she wanted to make sure we include. A few weeks before he passed, in a phone conversation, Steve shared with her that he was so afraid. When she asked what he meant, he could not—or did not want to—explain what he feared. Little did she know, he probably realized he was literally “losing his mind” and had no control over it. He felt he had no options left. Steve was her Ironman, her rock of support who got her through cancer and the passing of her parents—how could he possibly feel so vulnerable and alone? And how could she not know? These are the thoughts that continue to surface, even 7 years later. Sadly, this is common for survivors, so if you are going through this, you are not alone. Notables: Jean often says that she had no idea he would try to take his own life. Less than 30 minutes before he passed, she received this text message from him. The things Jean remembers about their early days Belly laughs: Steve already made her laugh so much. A good belly laugh is how Steve helped diagnose her tonsil cancerPity Parties: When Jean was going through a particularly tough chemo session, Steve took out some party hats and "What the f*ck is she so happy about?" It's so easy to look back and wonder... When you live with someone who is suffering, the changes can be so small and incremental that it's hard to really know when they change into something more serious.Ativan was used to treat Steve's anxiety and depression - Jean believes it's possible that the drugs that helped early on stopped working Parkinson's: Jean was diagnosed with Parkinson's shortly after Steve died. She believes the grief and stress triggered her Parkinson's. Survivor's guilt is real and universalGrief and recovery resources were not easy to find at that timeJean feels she perpetuated the stigma about Steve's suicide by telling a local reporter not to include the cause of his death. Shortly after that initial response, she changed her attitude and openly shared about Steve's suicide.As Jean says, "She put her head in the sand."Steve's mission in life was to help people as evidenced by his career choices; lifeguard, applying to the FDNY, coach. He cared so much about helping others; it was tough to accept that he couldn't help himself.Resources: Facebook groups for survivors are more available now and can be very helpful, the AFSP is doing great things to support survivors and raise awareness, the suicide prevention hotline does a great job to help direct people Medical Advisory: The Run This World Podcast & the Touched by Suicide series does not provide crisis, counseling or direct services. The information and resources contained on this site are not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please consult a mental health professional before making changes to your treatment plan. Please be sure to share this podcast with anyone who needs to hear it right now. Thank you for listening. Music credit: "Forgiveness" by Sensho from Upbeatt.io
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    44 mins

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