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How do you prepare yourself to make a really hard decision? What are all the fears stopping you from taking the plunge? In this episode, I dive into the conscious steps I took to prepare myself for making one of the toughest decisions of my life.
This was the moment I decided I wanted more for myself, more clarity, more peace. To empower myself, I took a hard look at everything stopping me and realizing that the best case scenario is also true.

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This freestyled episode takes a moment to honor grief, pain, anger as part of the human experience. It serves as a reminder for me to come back to love and the gift that is now. Our couples counsellor at the time shared a more expanded 12 stages of emotional grieving which I've included below. Grieving is not linear and if there is anything I've learned over the last year is that your body will always make you deal with it no matter how hard you try to run away from it.

This Cercle Music set by Icelandic experimental composer, Olafur Arnalds was and still is especially uplifting to me in moments like these. Watching it on youtube is even more of a treat

The 12 Stages of Emotional Grieving by Kubler Ross and Kessler
1. Denial (Shock, Numbness)
2. Anger (Rage, Passive Aggressiveness, Vengeance)
3. Bargaining
4. Betrayal/Guilt
5. Depression/ Melancholy (a gray time-out, gestation, strengthening the self to eventually express raw rage, gutted grief, or one’s burning truth)
6. Sadness/Deep Grief (Key moment when a major letting go happens and it gives birth to a more whole, mature Higher Self incorporated in the personality)
7. Mental Comprehension of the Situation
8. Heart Compassion of the Situation 9. Forgiveness (includes Radical Forgiveness) 10.Acceptance/Meaning (“It couldn’t have been any other way. It’s as need be. I understand what this has all been for.”)
11.Letting Go/Gratitude
12.Rebirth/Creative Empowerment

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On this episode, I deep dive into the world of traumas, trauma responses, patterns and programs from a lay (wo)man's point of view that helped intellectualize the dynamics at play in my relationship which thereby helped me take the next steps forward in the road to empowerment.

In the episode, I quote the works of addiction and trauma expert Dr.Gabor Mate as well as marriage and family therapist Mercedes Coffman if you would like to deep dive further.

My couples counsellor Cyntha Gonzalez who dealt with us together and separately helped us make sense of how our wounds showed up in our relationship. Finally, my dear friend, Michelle Saudan who has trained with Dr. Mate is specialized in compassionate self inquiry and uses many modalities for healing, she feels like exactly the warm hug you need on a cold winter day!