The sun is hot, the speed of light is a fixed constant, and VERSUS is funny. There are certain things in this universe that are immutable laws, which cannot be broken. If you're not a fan of this concept, hey, don't get mad at us, pal! Take it up with God! (The right one, you know which.)

On this week's immutable force of nature: the team performs at Grovel-fest 2023, gets obscure with the clues, and has a scientific breakthrough that leads to one of our contestants' deaths! (Shocking!)

VERSUS: Is This Thing Still On?™

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Sailing through the ether like some ether on a rag to your nose—it's another episode of VERSUS and it's here to knock you unconscious! Taste sounds. See smells. Go ahead, feel a color or two. The contents of this here rag don't judge you or follow the rules of this universe, baby.

On this week's trip to the dentist: round 1 explodes into a ball of flames, round 2 crashes into the fertile earth, and round 3 magically heals itself like some magic from a wizard's magic hand-stick thing.

VERSUS: I Think I Lost My Glasses No Wait I Found Them Sorry Never Mind™

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Switch that signal and gently caress that third rail, because VERSUS is back on the tracks and chugging into Grand Central Stupid. We can carry as many passengers as you can throw at us AND we've got a bar car. Every car is a bar car. There are no seats. Chaos reigns.

On this week's crazy train: the fellas go on a road trip of iMaGiNAtiON, explore both sides of the same coin, and BBQ a ball of mystery meat.

VERSUS: Huh?!?™

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Well gaba my entire gool because here comes another episode of VERSUS crashing through the gates of the estate and charging for the guest house. It's running. It's jumping. It's dodging security. It's making a damn fool of itself if you ask me, but I was never one to judge too harshly. Fly my little baby podcast. Fly into the arms of the forever...

On this week's unintelligible pile of muck-muck: FMK turns to FMNo-way, the boys finally start to make cents, and ultimately STRIP away the layers and experience a whittle self-awareness.

VERSUS: Like a Hot Meal On a Cold, Wet Day™

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Due to recent allegations against the podcast, we find it necessary to take a moment here and use this space to make it clear that the podcast VERSUS and everyone associated therewith DO NOT CONDONE arson of any kind. Even though burning stuff with fire seems like it would be really cool and fun, it is not a forbidden delight that any of us partake of, in, or thereupon.

Arson is a crime, and we take crime very seriously. >:(

On this week's serious crime of a podcast: the gang makes a few honey-do lists for their honeys, excuse themselves, and spin one another right round, baby right round, like a . . . well, you know the rest.

VERSUS: We Have, the Laughs™

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Hot diggity dog it's another scorcher of an episode of VERSUS coming down the meat pipe to satisfy your most carnivorous of fantasies—comedically speaking that is!

For this week's overprocessed junk chunks in a bun: the fellas confront a riddle more dastardly than any sphinx dare devise, are supplied with the beginning and the end, and work their ways to woo a womance.

VERSUS: All For One, and One For All™

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"Hands up! Put your hands on the wall! Spread your legs! You got any VERSUS on you?! Huh?! Do ya scumbag? You look like the kinda trash that'd be filthy with VERSUS. Yeeeeeeah you're grinning from ear to ear and I can practically smell it on you. Get in the Cybertruck™ VERScum, you're going to Cyberprison™!!!"

This is our future if we don't spread the good word of VERSUS far and wide. You don't want this on your hands, trust us. We went into the future and you told us you didn't want it on your hands. So do your future and current selves a favor and shout the VERScripture from the VERSmountaintops baby!

On this week's dystopian hellscape: the boys get cartographic, fill up their glasses (but not too much), and pay their respects to a visible dead body.

VERSUS: How Much You Want For That Rare, Beautiful Fruit?™

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Did you know that nearly 40,000 Americans died in car crashes in 2020 alone? That's nuts. If you're texting and driving then cut that sh*t out. If you're reading this while you're driving then we're personally upset with you. Please be good out there, we care about your safety!

Here is a description of this week's episode for you to read while you are NOT DRIVING A CAR: in act 1 the gang gets all tripped up in the tongue; in act 2 they unfix the quite fixable; and in act 3 they perfectly recreate the unique vibes of the Greatest City in the World through the magic of audio theater.

VERSUS: Fall Into the Gap™

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