Alan Bennett recalls the gruesome preparation of a childhood staple. Recorded at the author’s home in Camden.

Written and Performed by Zeb Soanes

Music by Chris Warner

Artwork generously provided by Clive Francis

Since childhood, for my own amusement, I have mimicked the voices of my theatrical heroes. Over the years I’ve toyed with what to do with them; then, during lockdown, came up with celebriTEAS: audio vignettes in which the subjects reflect upon fondly-remembered treats. The foodstuffs are entirely invented but some of the biographical information is perfectly true: Kenneth Williams really did take his mother to Henley for bottles of Blue Nun but the jellied eels were, in reality, a Sunday roast - which doesn’t sound nearly as funny.

They are presented here with enormous affection and, if you’ve enjoyed them, please consider a donation to Acting for Others or the Equity Benevolent Fund. Despite public perception, the vast majority of performers, stage managers and creative practitioners working in the entertainment industry earn very modest sums and the sudden loss of income due to the coronavirus lockdown has been devastating.

#ForTheLoveOfArts (and picked eggs)

Thank you

Zeb Soanes

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