Funny Fantasy Adventure

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

When half your galaxy is unexpectedly sucked into a black hole - when a hitherto-unknown species of space aliens lays waste to your home planet - when disaster rears its ugly head (or heads) - who can you call for faster-than-light appraisals and best-in-the-multiverse customer service? Just one man - Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent. In this latest chapter of his interstellar exploits, Tom is about to deliver a crushing performance evaluation to Jimmy the Intern when the unimaginable happens: The beloved Wendell the Manatee has been kidnapped!

In this Audible Exclusive production, Academy Award® nominee Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl) narrates one of Jane Austen’s most beloved works, Sense and Sensibility. In this timeless tale of misguided romance and heartbreak, two teenage heroines must overcome the pitfalls of Georgian England’s high society in order to achieve the love and happiness they seek. The admiration that Pike has for Austen’s work is shown clearly through this passionate delivery of Austen’s first published novel.

She must protect the apocalypse scroll, or else the world will come to a fiery end. No pressure or anything.Crystal sorceress Dru Jasper has become the unwilling guardian of an ancient instrument of destruction. Its world-ending power is held in check by only a single wax seal. Which seems like maybe a huge design flaw, but whatever. Now insidious spirits who can kill by touch are trying to get their clutches on the apocalypse scroll and break the final seal. To stop them, Dru needs a rare crystal older than the Earth itself. But it’s hidden in a meteorite crater deep in the desert, and ...

Tempest Michaels has a vampire problem. He’s an old hat at this game and dealing with cases like this are his speciality. Except this time … … the vampires are his clients. When someone starts targeting members of the local vampire Live Action Role Play club, there’s only one person they can think of to turn to – their old nemesis, Tempest Michaels. Unfortunately for Tempest, when he takes the case, he doesn’t realise they automatically assume that means twenty-four-hour protection. All too soon he has vampire wannabes camping on his lawn, he has vampires wannabes sleeping in ...

An alien cat turned me into a superweapon. I was homeless on the streets of Third York when it happened. Then the military arrived and gave me a choice. Enlist or die. The next thing I knew, I was fighting giant robots at the Xenoforce Academy's boot camp. Figuring out superpowers and energy levels was hard enough, but I had to deal with a mind-reading alien princess, a team of gorgeous women, and a femme fatale in charge of the whole operation. Oh, and a galactic conspiracy is threatening all of humanity. It's up to me and my new feline friend to set things right. A civil war's brewing on ...

Seth is down for the count. A strange artifact from another era has surfaced to contest Ace's claim to the elemental battlefield. Tensions rise between factions and the potential of a great calamity lies just around every turn. Life and death hang in the balance in Chaos Incarnate.

Superweapon stud? That's what the doctor ordered. The Beastmasters are dwindling. The Mekanics are growing bolder. Everyone's desperate for the next magic bullet. With no more Chimerics arriving, there's only one way to make more Beastmasters. Me. I'm not against making baby Beastmasters with the hotties on my squad. The problem is that they're not telling me everything. The last time they tried this, things got pretty ugly... All hell's breaking loose. Secrets are spilling left and right. Even my alien cat Zoe can't keep all the facts straight. And everyone wants a piece of me. There's ...

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

Pulse-pounding action, paranormal detectives, and laugh-out-loud-embarrass-yourself-in-public humor, what's not to like? Delve into a world where supernatural crimes are investigated by one man standing alone to protect those that call on him. In the brooding, dark landscape of England, with its rolling hills and forgotten castles, the dark breeds evil in every shadow. With millions of pages read and thousands of books sold, the Tempest Michaels paranormal investigation series will grip you from the start and rob you of sleep as you continue turning pages until well after your bedtime. It ...

Can her magic save the world—before his curse destroys it?Shy, awkward Dru never believed she had what it takes to be a true sorceress. That's why she’s been running a little crystal shop on the rough side of Denver, selling potions and charms to the larger-than-life spellcasters who defend the world against the forces of darkness. But when she accidentally touches hands with a dangerously handsome stranger, sparks fly — literally — and he supercharges her crystal magic powers. Ironically, Greyson doesn’t know a thing about magic. But his screaming-fast muscle car is possessed by ...

He will need more than bravery to survive what’s coming. Doomed to fight the Dark King, Stone must find the path to save every living soul from the ferocious dark dragons. Together with his friends: Ceres, rambunctious and shrewd, Adler; snide and courageous, and Corvaire; of the legendary knights of Darakan, they must find the new powerful sorceresses— the Majestic Wilds. But they’ll have to be quick— for the warring kings will surely be after them soon. Not to mention King Arken Shadowborn and his own monstrous dragon. Will they be able to find these new Majestic Wilds in time? ...

One night with a superpowered babe. Alan Star thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but fantasy turns into nightmare when a late-night meetup with a heroine turns deadly. To the dismay of the powers-in-charge, Alan has stumbled upon the dirty truth behind the squeaky-clean image of the hero business. Soon, everyone from government black ops to angry superpowered flames want to shut him up. Permanently. With nowhere else to run, Alan escapes to the one place that the heroes won't go: the underground world of a fabled hero-killer. There, he discovers the key to becoming the greatest hero...

Verity King has a problem with her husband. He’s been turned into a frog, and contrary to opinion, that’s not an improvement. A cryptic message, a severed finger in her fridge, and no signs of forced entry make it clear to Tempest why he was called, but Mr King’s worrying transformation is just the first act. Almost before he can add up the clues, a second victim confirms the theme and Tempest finds himself up against someone performing modern retellings of the Grimm Brothers’ Fairy Tales … with real live human characters. Tempest also has a new partner and it’s not his old army...

The complete Dungeon Raider fantasy adventure trilogy, including: GRUDGES (Book 1) The Forge. It’s not a place that gives anyone the warm and fuzzies. No, The Forge is a dungeon mine that used to be home to the Deep Mountain Clan of dwarves. Then the orcs took control of it and forced the dwarves out. Now it’s a death sentence to any who try to voyage into its dark depths. That’s where I come in. No, I’m not some sort of soldier or mercenary trying to set things right. I’m a thief. And I’ve plundered many dungeons—enough to have earned a reputation for myself. I’m good at ...

Here's the whole collection! Brenda Waters at her best, stumbling into a ton of hardcore, Lesbian action!There is spanking, toys, backdoor play, Milf's, Cougars, Interracial, group sex, and more! You won't be disappointed!

Prophecy claims the apocalypse is neigh. To prevent a cataclysm, agents from all six factions converge on Gacestone to destroy the Chaos Core and kill its Founder. Meanwhile, in a struggle for potential life-saving power, Seth and his party turn to an ancient structure lying deep beneath the Chaos Dungeon, which doesn't let their expedition go unnoticed. See whether the new Chaos faction thrives or collapses under the pressure of Chaos Overwhelming.

Wars above and below the Elemental Battlefield erupt in clashes of Dungeon Cores and Titans. Ace and Seth, both desperately clawing for more power in the face of instability, grow their influence over Gracestone and its inhabitants. Explore the treasures and terrors set free in Chaos Untethered.