Funny Southern

Early morning, August 1975: a camp counselor discovers an empty bunk. Its occupant, Barbara Van Laar, has gone missing. Barbara isn’t just any thirteen-year-old: she’s the daughter of the family that owns the summer camp and employs most of the region’s residents. And this isn’t the first time a Van Laar child has disappeared. Barbara’s older brother similarly vanished fourteen years ago, never to be found.

When Miss Julia burst on the scene in her debut, Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind, this proper lady of a certain age found her orderly world turned upside down when Hazel Marie Puckett appeared with her nine-year-old son, Little Lloyd, who looked disturbingly similar to Miss Julia's late husband. Now, in Miss Julia Takes Over, with her sharp tongue and iron backbone intact, Miss Julia must tackle another disruption when Hazel Marie doesn't return from a dinner date. Miss Julia hires J. D. Pickens to investigate, despite her reservations about his taste for beer and women.

College student Joe Talbert has the modest goal of completing a writing assignment for an English class. His task is to interview a stranger and write a brief biography of the person. With deadlines looming, Joe heads to a nearby nursing home to find a willing subject. There he meets Carl Iverson, and soon nothing in Joe's life is ever the same. Carl is a dying Vietnam veteran-and a convicted murderer. With only a few months to live, he has been medically paroled to a nursing home after spending thirty years in prison for the crimes of rape and murder.

Romaine Wilder, big-city medical examiner with a small-town past, has been downsized and evicted. With few other options, she’s forced to return to her hometown of Roble in East Texas, leaving behind the man she’s dating and the life she’s worked hard to build. Suzanne Babet Derbinay, Romaine’s Auntie Zanne and proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home, has long since traded her French Creole upbringing for Big Texas attitude. She’s a member in a number of ladies’ auxiliaries and clubs, including being in charge of the Tri-County Annual Crawfish Boil and Music Festival. Hanging on to ...

Mae West, a far cry from the Hollywood actress, has been thrown for a loop. Her plush lifestyle in the big city of New York comes to a screeching halt after the FBI raids her mansion and arrests her husband, Paul West, for a Ponzi scheme that rips people out of millions of dollars. Mae finds herself homeless, friendless, and penniless. All hope isn't lost... the only thing Mae got to keep that the government didn't seize is a tourist camp ground, Happy Trails, in Normal, Kentucky.

Southern matriarch Lillian Summer Fairview is settling right nice into prison, until Big Martha, the toughest broad on the cellblock, comes asking for a favor. Her niece has fallen for a guy she met online, and Martha’s convinced Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True is up to no good. All Lil’s friends have to do is investigate the guy and report back. Will these amateur sleuths be able to track down the elusive Romeo in the scam-filled world of online dating without alerting the local police to their shenanigans, or will they find themselves in trouble right up to their granny panties?

Sometimes the thumbs slip… She’s finally joined the dating app everyone in Cider Cove is raving about…when she accidentally sends a message about wanting to meet up for a first date to her enemy. Hillary: I’ve been engaged twice now without becoming a bride, and let’s just say those failures have made me more career-focused than ever. But I just hit the big 3-0 last year, and I’m feeling…lonely, despite the five best friends I share an enormous house with. I’ve drawn the short stick this time, and I’m dealing with the general contractor about fixing our perpetually leaking...

Sometimes a wager only makes things more fun... She’s got seniority over the obnoxious grump next door, and she's determined to beat him out for the top job in their charming hometown. But a bold bet spins their rivalry into a flirty attraction that could change everything. Claudia: I was born to be the Cider Cove City Planner. But Beckett Fletcher—the hothead who works next door to me—wants the job too. We can hardly stand each other on a good day, much less compete for the same promotion. So I make him a bet: Whoever proves they best know the citizens' needs and submits the top ...

As a graduation present for her daughter, Tammy, Samantha Moon and the gang head down to South America for the vacation of all vacations. Of course, no vacation involving the vampire detective would be complete without a little mystery and mayhem. Or in this case, a lot of mystery mayhem! Enjoy the complete 6-story Latin Moon series in one easy-to-read collection. What's inside: 1. Incan Moon 2. Xibalba Moon 3. Golden Moon 4. Nazca Moon 5. Easter Moon 6. Amazon Moon Click BUY NOW or READ FOR FREE today!

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

The next in the hot, new series featuring Max Holt and Jamie Swift, filled with even more fast-paced action, crazy characters, steamy sex, suspense, and nonstop hilarity. This time Beaumont, South Carolina, is going to hell in a handbasket. It all starts when Jamie decides to increase revenues for her newspaper by starting a personal ads section. Suddenly, the town gets "all sexed up." A trashy lingerie shop opens. The bakery starts making pornographic pastries. Everyone gets the idea that sex sells.

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

When Pegasus Quincy, sheriff’s deputy, steps into the leaky rowboat to investigate a murder at a mysterious artists’ colony, her troubles have just begun. A new detective blames Peg when she gets snake bit. A friend gets caught in a drug raid and asks Peg’s assistance. Her new roomie monopolizes the kitchen, until Peg’s coonhound Reckless eats too many French macarons. And then there is the cat lady who accuses Peg of stealing a valuable painting. Surely Peg wouldn’t do that, would she? Join Pegasus Quincy as she delves into the nefarious underworld of art auctions, mid-century ...

Cassie and Elvis have Magnolia Bay's boardwalk purring like a kitten with fresh cream. With her bookstore thriving and friends by her side, Cassie's newest pride and joy are a pair of fall boots that don't just make folks green with envy—they're brimming with a magic only she knows about. Will they be enough to help her solve the latest murder in Magnolia Bay? The holiday weekend takes a dark turn when a local mom is found murdered. With secrets buried deeper than treasure and an investigation ally spilling them recklessly, danger's now tailing Cassie and her crew like a shadow on a hot ...

The largest collection of Southern proverbs, threats and insults - translated. Each saying is categorized and annotated with alternative sayings, explanations, facts, or similar quotes from famous people. Warning: this book could be fatal to unconverted Yankees.

In order to retrieve and deliver an antique charm before her best friend’s wedding, maid of honor Sarah must fake being in love with the best man. Maid of honor Sarah Carlton hasn’t failed at anything since her high school science project was sabotaged by a relentless competitor. So, she’ll do whatever it takes to make her best friend Jill’s wedding absolutely perfect. That includes taking the next flight out of Sacramento to retrieve the panicked bride’s cherished family wedding charm from her late grandmother’s attic in Atlanta Georgia. Unfortunately, someone else has offered ...

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

"Maggie Aldrich will have you laughing till your side hurts all while keeping you on the edge of your seat in this action-packed, page turning small town cozy mystery!" - CarolAnn Williams - Booksprout Upon moving back to small town America, the last thing newbie reporter Jackie Robinson expects to discover is a dead body. And not just any dead body. Local football legend and popular native son Barry Bartmore - the "King" of Saddle Creek. Much to the chagrin of Officer Tony Torres, her first unrequited crush, Jackie puts on her reporter's hat and takes the case. She’s determined to write ...

Jumping trees are the bane of Ben Baker' existence. He can't remember how many times a wampus cat has killed him. It's a wonder Hawgin' Fishbreath and Ben are still alive to tell these tales. If you love Southern humor in the style of Jerry Clower and Justin Wilson with helping of Lewis Grizzard thrown in, this is the book for you. Ben Baker relates tales of growing up in the South, misadventures in the woods and on the water, and some tall tales to tickle your funny bone.

If you’re a thirty-year-old, Southern male from a Christian family and have never brought a girl home to meet Momma, then you must secretly be up to no good. And if you also happen to be an only son with five older, happily married sisters, the pressure to find the one and only love of your life is like digging through a pile of leaves for the pin to the grenade you’re holding. Those were the first two lines of the first video post of Mark Griffin’s to go viral, and his popularity has steadily risen over the two years since. He decides to use his platform to find someone to share ...