Constituent Service
A Third District Story
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Constituent Service
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Narrated by:
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Amber Benson
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The aliens are here ... and they want municipal services!
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself.
And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
It's Parks and Recreation meets the Federation of Planets in this fast and funny audio exclusive by Hugo Award winner and Audible best seller John Scalzi.
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-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,738
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,719
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86,517
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 457
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 436
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 437
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A great new twist on the “alien conspiracy” genre
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
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ADHD may be the defining diagnosis of our time. According to the latest data, more than 10 percent of American children (that’s 7.1 million kids) have been diagnosed with ADHD. And the number of stimulant prescriptions for adults in their 30s has shot up nearly threefold since 2012. In recent years, this explosion in demand has combined with other factors to create a widespread stimulant shortage in the US. In the second installment of Backfired, cohosts Leon Neyfakh and Arielle Pardes look at the unintended consequences of the ADHD industry, and trace the surprising path that brought us here.
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Agent Isaac Steele has problems. He spends all his splibs on drink and drugs. He has some deep-seated and very much unresolved issues with his parents. And his robotic partner at Greatest Britain’s Department of Clarification, Dr Timothy Stephens, is ruled more by his heart than his hard drive. But all these issues take a back seat when Isaac stumbles upon a case involving the most sensitive information in the cosmos - a Never File, inaccessible to all except those with the highest clearance. He is expressly forbidden to involve himself. So naturally he does.
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
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5 out of 5 stars
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Agent Isaac Steele has problems. He spends all his splibs on drink and drugs. He has some deep-seated and very much unresolved issues with his parents. And his robotic partner at Greatest Britain’s Department of Clarification, Dr Timothy Stephens, is ruled more by his heart than his hard drive. But all these issues take a back seat when Isaac stumbles upon a case involving the most sensitive information in the cosmos - a Never File, inaccessible to all except those with the highest clearance. He is expressly forbidden to involve himself. So naturally he does.
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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The President's Brain Is Missing
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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3 out of 5 stars
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
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The Android's Dream
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- Unabridged
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11,523
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
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The Dispatcher
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
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Wynonna Earp
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Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
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Happy #Earper ☺️
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Classics of Horror: Frankenstein, Dracula, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
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James Krasner, an expert in Victorian literature, takes you on a fascinating journey into the enduring power of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You’ll learn how these three literary masters structured their novels to offer not only scares but also complex insights into cultural debates that still matter to us today.
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Dracula is not boring
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Witches Get Stuff Done
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Riley Denton-Everett always felt like something was missing in her life—and her numerous odd jobs and short-lived relationships haven’t brought her any closer to finding it. Everything changes when she receives a mysterious message: You’re a Denton. You belong on Starfall Point. Once you’re here, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. When Riley arrives on the island, she learns her aunt has left her a historic mansion brimming with haunted antiques. Turns out, that’s not the only thing she’s inherited. Riley also hails from a long line of witches.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Sadly Disappointing
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The B-Team
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- By: John Scalzi
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,821
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Are You Afraid of the Dark? The Official Podcast: Season 2
- By: Nickelodeon Podcasts
- Narrated by: Jeremy Ray Taylor, Mason Versaw, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 81
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 81
Welcome back, horror-lovers, your long wait for new scary vibes is now over. The Midnight Society is back with even more thrills and chills to haunt your airwaves, and now is your chance to become an honorary member. From twisted hauntings from the afterlife lurking in innocent kids’ backyards, to a séance gone terribly wrong, and many other chilling tales, listen if you dare. Only truly brave souls should proceed. You’ve been warned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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spooky good fun.
- By Kathy L. Wesson on 12-18-24
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,236
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,173
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,174
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
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The Signal
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- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 457
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 436
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Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
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5 out of 5 stars
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A great new twist on the “alien conspiracy” genre
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
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The Energy Curfew Music Hour
- By: Chris Thile, Claire Coffee, Punch Brothers
- Narrated by: Chris Thile, Punch Brothers
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 40
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 37
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Story5 out of 5 stars 37
It’s time to unplug with the Grammy-winning Punch Brothers, fronted by singer-mandolinist Chris Thile, as they bring you a multi-episode musical variety show with dazzling musical guests, like Kacey Musgraves, Jason Isbell, Jon Batiste, Norah Jones, James Taylor, and many more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gifted musicians and storytellers right in their element and at the height of their powers
- By Megan G Kahl on 10-27-24
By: Chris Thile, and others
What listeners say about Constituent Service
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- 🔥 Phx17 🔥
- 10-03-24
Alien improv
“I was promised alien karaoke”
Just what I want in an urban fantasy novella: fast, fun, and fantastical. Lots of unique aliens. A quick moving mystery. Sly, dry jabs at bureaucracy.
“I was guano’d explosively”
Yes, the jokes are on the juvenile end. Lots of body humor with poop and unknown alien fluids. But it’s delightfully silly.
“My head filled with alien unguents”
I caught a single F bombs and some minor adult comedy about alien sex toys. I’ll easily let my teens listen and would definitely tune in for a full length book.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mary
- 10-05-24
Excellent narrator and fun story
I was surprised at how enjoyable this was. I haven't loved most of Scalzi's work in the last few years, but the narration is stellar and the story is original. There are some very predictable beats, but overall a fun listen and I would love more of these characters.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Big Red
- 10-06-24
Light hearted futuristic story.
John Scalzi doesn't disappoint. easy listening story with cute and funny characters. Just what I needed as I work around the house.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 10-04-24
Excellent story.
Well written, creative, and entertaining. We'll developed characters and the plot was interesting. I enjoyed it and look forward to more.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tina
- 10-06-24
Fun short story
I wish this had been longer. It was a fun lesson. The narrator sounded great and the story was fun.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- TBone
- 10-07-24
Fun and unique.
The writer's imagination is captivating. I would need to be inspired (insert smoke something here) to imagine something like this. I appreciate stories that remain neutral in today's polarized world.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Heather
- 10-14-24
Fun quick listen!
It was just a fun and quick listen. No complaints at all! I'd recommend it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- KDC
- 10-15-24
Fun
I hope this author decides to write a full length follow up to this great appetizer.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tim and Lori
- 10-12-24
Creative and Unique
What a fun story! The closest I can come for comparison is "Men in Black" but much lighter. While the story is short, it doesn't feel incomplete. I really hope there is a series of these.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- H. L. Bristol
- 10-10-24
Sooo much fun!!
I am already a John Scalzi fan, and I will now be hunting down everything Amber Benson has narrated. If you need a a good laugh and a truly imaginative story, this is a truly good one!!
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