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If You Would Have Told Me
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: John Stamos
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
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If You Would Have Told Me
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Publisher's summary
An Audible Best of the Year 2023 Celebrity Memoir Selection
This program is read by the author.
“...I love him, and I respect him, and I need him. We all do.” —from the foreword, written and read by Jamie Lee Curtis
If you would have told a young John Stamos flipping burgers at his dad’s fast-food joint that one day he’d be a household name and that, at the height of his success, he’d be living alone, divorced, with no kids, high on a cocktail of forgetting, he might’ve asked, “You want fries with that?”
John burst onto the scene in General Hospital, propelling him into the teen idol stratosphere, a place that’s often a point of no return. But Stamos beat the odds and over the past four decades has proved himself to be one of his generation’s most successful and beloved actors. Whether showing off his comedic chops on Full House or his dramatic skills on ER, pushing the boundaries on Broadway or living out his youthful dreams as an honorary Beach Boy, John has surprised everyone, most of all himself.
A universal story about friendship, love, loss, and the courage to embrace love once more, John Stamos’s memoir is filled with some of the most memorable names in Hollywood, both old and new. Funny, deeply poignant, and brutally honest, If You Would Have Told Me is a portrait of a boy who went from believing in Disney magic to a man who learns that we have to create our own magical moments in life.
A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.
Interview: How John Stamos became a family man
- If You Would Have Told Me
- By:John Stamos
- Narrated by:John Stamos
- If You Would Have Told Me
- 'There was no central character on that show. The central character was love. And people need that...'
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One moonlit night, 14-year-old Reena Virk went to join friends at a party and never returned home. In this “tour de force of crime reportage” (Kirkus Reviews), acclaimed author Rebecca Godfrey takes us into the hidden world of the seven teenage girls - and boy - accused of a savage murder. As she follows the investigation and trials, Godfrey reveals the startling truth about the unlikely killers. Laced with lyricism and insight, Under the Bridge is an unforgettable look at a haunting modern tragedy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Powerful Account of 8 Young Teens Killing Another
- By Mary Burnight on 08-16-19
By: Rebecca Godfrey
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42,690
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 37,583
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37,446
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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Exposed
- The Ashley Madison Hack
- By: Sophie Elmhirst, Maria Luisa Tucker
- Narrated by: Sophie Nélisse
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 752
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 732
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 732
Millions of people–looking to cheat on their partners–signed up for Ashley Madison in the early 2000s, seeking a private space to share their public desires. The promise of discretion was shattered in the summer of 2015, when anonymous hackers stole the company’s cache of user information and published it worldwide. The result? One of the most shocking data breaches of the internet age. Overnight, millions of unfaithful spouses had their real names, addresses and sexual preferences published online in a searchable database that anyone could browse.
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4 out of 5 stars
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No mind change
- By Joshua on 02-13-24
By: Sophie Elmhirst, and others
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American Dreamer: Who Was Jay Gatsby?
- By: Blanchard House
- Narrated by: Joe Nocera
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 91
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 88
Just before the small-time bootlegger Max Gerlach died, he tried to reveal his secret: he was the inspiration for the mysterious Jay Gatsby. It’s a nice story, but was he telling the truth? Veteran reporter Joe Nocera and producer Poppy Damon investigate this century-old literary mystery and uncover untold secrets about the Great American Novel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I mean… incredible.
- By Laura Bellefontaine on 05-05-24
By: Blanchard House
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Trace of Doubt
- By: Samantha Weinberg
- Narrated by: Samantha Weinberg
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,363
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,341
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,341
In the summer of 1985, a brilliant young British DNA scientist Helena Greenwood is found murdered in her front garden in a quiet suburb in California. The police believe they know the killer’s identity but there’s no evidence against him, and the only thing linking him to the crime is the fact he’d been charged with sexually assaulting Helena just a few months previously.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Frustrating
- By Amazon Customer on 01-28-24
-
Going Infinite
- The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Michael Lewis
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,777
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,611
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,609
When Michael Lewis first met him, Sam Bankman-Fried was the world’s youngest billionaire and crypto’s Gatsby. CEOs, celebrities, and leaders of small countries all vied for his time and cash after he catapulted, practically overnight, onto the Forbes billionaire list. Who was this rumpled guy in cargo shorts and limp white socks, whose eyes twitched across Zoom meetings as he played video games on the side? In Going Infinite Lewis sets out to answer this question, taking listeners into the mind of Bankman-Fried.
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1 out of 5 stars
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really expected more rigor from Michael Lewis
- By Wowhello on 10-04-23
By: Michael Lewis
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 30,708
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 27,497
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 27,389
Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Hold Fast
- The Unadulterated Story of the World’s Most Scandalous Website
- By: Trevor Aaronson, Sam Eifling, Michael Mooney
- Narrated by: Trevor Aaronson, Sam Eifling, Michael Mooney
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 35
Hold Fast is the uncompromising story of Backpage.com, the world’s most scandalous website, and the rise and fall of alternative weekly newspapers nationwide.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
An amazing, crazy ride. Highly recommend.
- By Tara N on 04-17-24
By: Trevor Aaronson, and others
-
Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,677
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,271
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,267
The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
-
Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,006
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,719
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,712
The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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Sorry for Your Loss
- By: Michael Cruz Kayne
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,203
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,121
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,119
A sidesplitting, heartrending look at life—and death. This powerfully personal production, recorded live from the Minetta Lane Theatre, cuts through the platitudes, directly reaching out to anyone who has ever experienced loss—or will. So...everyone.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Must Listen for the Grieving
- By Chris on 09-25-23
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 21,159
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 19,019
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 18,922
For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
-
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 12,084
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 10,745
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 10,685
Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Audible Masterpiece
- By Phoenician on 09-10-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
-
The Debutante
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 3 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,328
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,101
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,098
Thirty years ago, award-winning journalist Jon Ronson stumbled on the mystery of Carol Howe—a charismatic, wealthy former debutante turned white supremacist spokeswoman turned undercover informant. In 1995, Carol was spying on Oklahoma’s neo-Nazis for the government just when Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City, killing 168 people.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Interesting but not compelling
- By Gail Jester on 04-15-23
By: Jon Ronson
-
Two Women Walk into a Bar
- By: Cheryl Strayed
- Narrated by: Cheryl Strayed
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 275
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 258
Twenty-one years after Cheryl Strayed set off on the Pacific Crest Trail to heal from the death of her beloved mother, Cheryl’s mother-in-law, Joan, is given weeks to live. As she and her husband help see Joan through her final days, Cheryl reckons with their complicated relationship, determined to connect with a woman who both showed her love and (sometimes hilariously) held her at a distance. Cheryl reflects on their two decades together as she comes to a deeper understanding of the secrets and sorrows in Joan’s complicated past.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Cheryl tells a great story!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-01-24
By: Cheryl Strayed
-
French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 28
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 27
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 27
Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Chuckles with “Titting About”
- By Robin Johnston on 05-04-24
By: Dawn French, and others
-
The Meaning of Mariah Carey
- By: Mariah Carey
- Narrated by: Mariah Carey
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 12,987
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,501
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 11,455
It took me a lifetime to have the courage and the clarity to write my memoir. I want to tell the story of the moments - the ups and downs, the triumphs and traumas, the debacles and the dreams - that contributed to the person I am today. This book is composed of my memories, my mishaps, my struggles, my survival, and my songs. Unfiltered. I went deep into my childhood and gave the scared little girl inside of me a big voice. I let the abandoned and ambitious adolescent have her say, and the betrayed and triumphant woman I became tell her side.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Entertaining glitz glam smoke and mirrors - not the whole story.
- By Anonymous User on 10-04-20
By: Mariah Carey
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I'd ask Betty!
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Hold the shrieking !
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Lack of transparency
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The very definition of narcissism.
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Narration alert!
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Robert Downey, Jr.
- The Biography
- By: Martin Howden
- Narrated by: Philip Ormond
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 454
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 388
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 383
Find out about his film debut at age five playing a puppy in one of his father's cult underground films, his attempt at becoming a comedian during his ill-fated stint on comedy show Saturday Night Live, how he burst onto the scene with his moving performance in Less than Zero and how he charmed Hollywood with his Oscar nominated turn as troubled funny man Charlie Chaplin.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You are never down and out unless you think you are
- By Craig on 11-10-15
By: Martin Howden
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Not That Fancy
- Simple Lessons on Living, Loving, Eating, and Dusting Off Your Boots
- By: Reba McEntire
- Narrated by: Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, Carly Pearce, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 319
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 293
The best things in life are really not that fancy. This audiobook featuring all-things-Reba invites you to get back to the basics of life: fun, food, friends, and family. In her first book in over two decades, actress and country music legend Reba McEntire takes you behind the scenes and shares the stories, recipes, and Oklahoma-style truths that guide her life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The queen didn’t disappoint
- By jojouknow on 10-18-23
By: Reba McEntire
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Troublemaker
- Surviving Hollywood and Scientology
- By: Leah Remini
- Narrated by: Leah Remini
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 21,654
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 19,749
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Story5 out of 5 stars 19,659
The outspoken actress, talk show host, and reality television star offers up a no-holds-barred memoir, including an eye-opening insider account of her tumultuous and heart-wrenching 30-year-plus association with the Church of Scientology.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
- By Kim on 11-04-15
By: Leah Remini
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Love, Pamela
- A Memoir of Prose, Poetry, and Truth
- By: Pamela Anderson
- Narrated by: Pamela Anderson
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,129
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,006
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,002
In this honest, layered and unforgettable book that alternates between storytelling and her own poetry, Pamela Anderson breaks the mold of the celebrity memoir while taking back the tale that has been crafted about her. Her blond bombshell image was ubiquitous in the 1990s. Discovered in the stands of a football game, she was immediately rocket launched into fame, becoming Playboy’s favorite cover girl and an emblem of Hollywood glamour and sexuality.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Pam Anderson Can’t Make Up Her Mind
- By Kimberly Salinas on 02-11-23
By: Pamela Anderson
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 69,044
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 63,822
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Story5 out of 5 stars 63,614
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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Here We Go Again
- My Life In Television
- By: Betty White
- Narrated by: Betty White
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Abridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 710
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 621
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 619
"Here is Betty White - a woman who has been on television forever!" is generally how Betty White is introduced. And quite accurately, too, since she first appeared in 1949, when both she and television were rank beginners. Since then, she has had one of the most amazing careers in TV, winning five Emmy awards, creating such unforgettable characters as Sue Ann Nivens and Rose Nylund, and appearing in a host of television classics.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I don't understand why this was abridged...
- By Gina M Clingerman on 12-16-15
By: Betty White
What listeners say about If You Would Have Told Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tammy
- 10-27-23
Loved it
A very honest and beautiful story about a journey in life. May the journey continue for many more years.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessica C
- 11-03-23
Loved it!
Grew up an Uncle Jesse girl and that hasn’t changed! Loved listening to the audio book and didn’t want it to end. I smiles, I laughed and I cried. Love you John Stamos!! ❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- yvette mares
- 10-30-23
Loved it !
So happy for you John Stamos. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Sorry for the painful losses you’ve experienced. You’re an awesome guy and have a beautiful family.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 11-02-23
Great memoir
As a lifelong John Stamos fan, this was an entertaining and heartwarming glimpse into all aspects of his life. He deserves his happily ever after!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Maritza Morales
- 10-25-23
Beautiful, simply beautiful
So we’ll written, entertaining and heartfelt.
You’ll be surprised at how well you DID NOT know John Stamos. And even more surprised by how much you’ll love him and appreciate his work after experiencing this book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Pamela Plimpton
- 11-06-23
Have Mercy!
Great book, great story. I truly enjoyed Mr. Stamos narrating this story himself and being able to make it come to life. The story is terrific, honest and captivating. Wonderful to hear honesty when he speaks of the amazing love and upbringing he had with his parents and still managed to stumble into alcoholism. Thank you for a terrific story of your life and God bless!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 11-08-23
A whole new appreciation for Uncle Jesse
My eyes and heart have been opened to John’s amazing accomplishments in his industry and love of family. He’s always been my “hall pass” but now I think I appreciate his heart as much as his gorgeousness 😊❤️
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- richard brier
- 11-04-23
Enjoyable and Thought Provoking
Listening to John narrate his memoir was really enjoyable. He is sensitive and deep, and I was on the verge of tears at times when I least expected it. His book resonated with me and I believe it will with you. Buy the book, you won’t regret it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Andrea C
- 11-06-23
Lovely memoir
This was a thoroughly entertaining memoir! I grew up watching Full House, so John Stamos will always be Uncle Jesse to me. However, it was wonderful listening to his stories about all the other aspects of his life, complete with amazing voices! I loved how important his mom and dad were in his life and how their influence shaped him throughout his life. This book had me laughing out loud & crying a few times. I liked it so much I might have to get the physical book as well. I recommend this to anyone who is a John Stamos fan.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lisa Reynolds
- 11-10-23
Wonderful Read!
Thank you for writing this, John. We need more people like you in this world. We love you.
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