To Have and to Hold

Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma

De: Molly Millwood

Narrado por: Molly Millwood

A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood.

When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.

As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust, but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.

In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally - as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.

As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help listeners reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.

©2019 Molly Millwood (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers

The book I wish I had…

I read during my postpartum period with my second and it made me feel so validated. I wish I had this book after my first when my world was so rocked by the changes.

speaking to my SOUL

Every single word of this book I have found to be relatable at a time when I'm needing it most.

For every mother

I recommend this to every mother I know.
I wish I knew about it when my baby was a newborn.

Required reading for new moms

This book is the most validating on the postpartum changes (I’d have given anything to have it after my first baby), and helpful guide to the challenge babies pose for couples, citing examples and explaining attachment theory. Whether it is your first or your fifth baby, both parents should take time to read and discuss this book together.

Required reading for mothers!

This is the first time I’ve ever written a review here but feel compelled to do so after finishing this book. Dr. Millwood so beautifully puts into words my feelings and experiences as a mother of two, including an 8 week old infant. She manages to make me feel heard and understood through her words. Simply knowing that I am not alone in my experiences of motherhood is so therapeutic. I am recommending this book to all my friends and loved ones who are mamas or mamas-to-be. The audiobook version was excellent.

All parents (to be)

I wish I had found this book 6 years ago, when I became a mother. I feel like this book could and would benefit anyone that is expecting, mother and/or father.

Every mom should read this book

if you are a mom, especially a new one, this book is sure to hit home. beautifully written and backed up with research. I can't recommend this book enough. I'll be reading again soon.

This is not a self-help book. It’s a reality check!

If you are expecting solutions, techniques, etc. this is not the book for you. This book had me in tears multiple times. It confirmed what I already had an idea of which is parenting is hard and people are not truthful about it. We are never told how complex parenting can be and the feelings arising with/from it. This book will make you realize how normal your struggles are as a mother and how you should not immediately assume something is wrong with you. For the dad’s reading this, it will hopefully shed a light on your partner’s feelings and behaviors.

Amazing must read mommy book

I recommend reading this book before a baby and reread after having a baby. It really does allow those bottled up feelings that no parent wants to feel find a safe place to be understand and not frowned about but accepted and a better look into how common a lot of mommy feeling every women feels. Amazing book loved it from beginning to end that I bought the hard cover to add to my collection after listening to the audible version, that she reads herself which I loved even more hearing it from her.

Great Read!

I enjoyed reading this book. It helped me not feel alone in this motherhood journey.