This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses trauma, PTSD and our dreams. She also explains how we can best support our children when we know they are struggling, how to know how much something we experienced affects us today, and why we can overshare with our therapist right away. She then offers some basic anger management tips, and how having a TBI can affect our mental health.

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, episode 232 audience questions:

1. I would be grateful if you would discuss trauma/ptsd dreams... particularly how to decrease them and how to recover after having them. 02:32

2. Hi Kati! I have a teenage daughter who is the light of my life and a great kid - she's incredibly empathetic, kind, creative, and doesn't get up to any real trouble (other than a little attitude with me here and there), but I worry about her mental health. Her dad and I had a difficult separation some years ago, and he drops in and out of her life - also she has struggled with anxiety since childhood, and is very hard on herself. When she was smaller I had her in play, art, and animal therapy to help manage her anxiety, but she'd always be positive for the first month or so then grow to hate going. Now she is... 09:25

3. How do we know if something that we experienced actually affected us and if so, the severity of which it impacted us to make us who we are today? My therapist will be going on maternity leave again for the second time within the last few years and it is expected that she will be away for an extended period of time (potentially up to two years). I'm going through an interesting period... 14:19

4. I was just wondering if this is something that is common or whether I'm weird. When I first met my therapist I had complete verbal diarrhea about a few things that happened as a teen. I apologized and she said it was ok and was very reassuring that I didn’t need to apologize. This was a few months back and we have talked about them in more detail since, I haven’t brought it up with her yet but I think I may have had a light bulb moment as to... 25:24

5. Can you talk about some basic anger management/frustration tolerance tips? I feel like I lose my temper wayyyy too easily, and it's NOT the type of person I want to be. I know you've talked about anger not being a "bad" thing, and that it can teach us something, etc. But I'm talking about the times when I am losing my cool for trivial things, or when I know I'm overreacting (cursing because I caught a red light, being snippy and defensive with people when they don't deserve it). I am getting better at calming myself down after being triggered, which is... 30:55

6. How does a brain injury impact someone who also has CPTSD? I was in 4th grade when I had an accident and received some brain damage on the front of my brain. I also grew up with emotional neglect/abuse, physical abuse, witnessing domestic abuse, bullying, and sexual abuse…I know that is a lot and I know CPTSD takes some rewiring of your brain to overcome. I just wonder if I struggle more than most because I also have that TBI to work with? Are there any tools/tricks to make it easier? I am in talk therapy and EMDR. 38:43

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8849136/

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton PARTNERSHIPSLinnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about emotional pain in therapy sessions, how we can stop our hypersexuality, and how far back our body remembers traumatic experiences. She also explains other mental illnesses that could be helped through DBT, and what we can do to stop our doctors from blaming our physical ailments on our mental health. Finally, she discusses memory and trauma processing, and why we can sometimes struggle to recall simple things.

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, episode 231 audience questions:

1. How would you react if a client tried to leave session due to being in emotional pain. And you suspected they would try to harm themselves or even commit suicide? Would you stop them, or is that not your responsibility? Would you ever get in the way of the door and not let them leave? How would you react differently if It was a friend and outside the therapy space? 00:58

2. How can I put an end to my hyper sexuality? I’ve been struggling with it since like, forever. I was SA’d as a kid (COCSA) at the age of 5-6 and I’ve been hypersexual since, I’ve been physically abused by a parent because I was caught touching myself in public, now I more so use it as a coping mechanism, it’s what I’d turn to when I was even ever so slightly irritated... 05:14

3. Do you know how far in the past can the body "remember" potentially traumatic experiences? I was born a preemie at 32w (not too bad for a triplet, but still required weeks of care in NICU). From what I learned and saw in photos, I was the tiniest of the 3 and spent the longest time in hospital. I've been tube fed and covered with IV's. I also went into respiratory arrest at a few months old. Besides that, I haven't grown a sick child at all. We were lucky. I have been struggling with MH since my early teenage years (I am 22 ) Having an ED (among other co-related issues), gaining weight is really hard to cope with. In my case, it is not so much that I... 14:28

4. Hi Kati, is DBT a good fit for illnesses other than BPD? I have anxiety and bipolar II depression and, in the past, have had CBT/ACT therapy. They were pretty successful for anxiety but never touched the depression. Over time, I have developed chronic suicidal thoughts. When I'm well, they scare me. When I'm depressed they are almost like a warm blanket. I can’t stop thinking about it. It's always in the back of my mind. I know I have a way out. Could DBT help with this? 22:01

5. How did you get doctors to stop dismissing physical health issues and blaming it on mental health? I understand they can go hand in hand, but it's not always the case. It feels discriminatory. What's the best way to address this with a doctor? 30:45

6. What is going on with my memory???? I’ve been doing trauma work with my therapist for awhile now and all of the sudden I cannot remember what I have shared with her and what I haven’t. Why is it so hard for me to share new memories of the trauma with my therapist?? I fully trust her and know she is safe. Why do I go into a shame spiral and then push her away after I share something new? Will this go away with time? 35:27

PUBLISHED BOOKSTraumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

PARTNERSHIPSLinnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about why it can be hard to tell our therapist about a sexual assault, and why the R-word can be so difficult to talk about. She then discusses why it seems to be harder to maintain our mental health post-COVID, how to work through perpetual grief, and how to overcome intense bullying. Finally, she explains how EMDR works, and why we can hold onto our suicidal thoughts and plans. Audience questions from Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 230:1. I was wondering why I can’t seem to talk to my therapist about being raped?? Backstory: I was raped twice by a family friend and both times were more than 10+ years ago so I should just be over it by now. I’ve been seeing a therapist for over a year now. I really do like her and I feel comfortable and really connected to her. I can count on one hand the few people who know about both assaults, but I’ve never been able to share with anyone intimate details of it besides the few details that my therapist knows about. However, every time the conversation...2. Is it just me, or is it so much harder to maintain good mental health as compared to pre-COVID times. So much changed during that time and so many of us lost important social connections. I hope this doesn’t sound lame, but… what is your advice for starting over?3. How do we work through perpetual grief? I feel a lot of grief over things that I didn't get to do or experience due to mental health issues over the years. Recognizing that I can't turn back time, and some of the things I missed I will never be able to do or that it will not be the same experience had it happened at the appropriate time. This caused me to have even more grief as I'm going through life knowing I'm not...4. I don’t have any hopes in life because I keep getting bullied and bullied and bullied ever since I was 10 and now I’m 13 I’m in seventh grade now and I’m scared to actually go to school because I keep getting bullied. I don’t tell my parents...5. Can you possibly explain the science behind EMDR in human terms? ;). It is completely fascinating to me how it works, because it does! My mind has started one place and ended up where I never would have expected to. I have had flashes of odd images come into my mind as well that I haven’t mentioned because they are just weird or embarrassing. 6. Even when I was doing a little bit better and wasn’t having too many suicidal thoughts, I’ve always had a plan in place in my head. This seems really messed up to me and now this method isn’t possible to me it feels stressful; like I need an answer again. I don’t understand why it feels necessary to have a definite answer to this again. Or why it was a constant presence in the first place. I’ve had rather complicated mental health issues for years and had lots of treatments and felt pretty hopeless for a long time. I’m guessing this has something to do with it but it just doesn’t sit right with me that it always feels needed in the background.

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL

YouTube: https://youtube.com/katimorton X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses whether or not we can get a past therapist to see us again, if we can move on without having a sense of self, and how often we have to be purging to be diagnosed with an eating disorder. She also gives us some ways we can work up the courage to share something difficult with our therapist, and what to do if we have been the abusive one in our relationship. Finally, she explains the symptoms we can have due to having a mom who is a narcissist. Ask Kati Anything | episode 229 1. Wondering if my therapist will take me back. I'm 21 and have suffered all my life with obsessions with authority figures, usually teachers or bosses. It's gotten very intense in the past and usually I think about them 24/7, though I'm not a stalker or creepy or dangerous. My suspicion is that my complicated relationship with my mom, whom I adore but who has unfortunately admitted to not really ever bonding with me, might be the problem...2. How can I move on without having a sense of self? I had depression for years and I’m working on perfectionism and over-controlling, which are caused by CPTSD, in therapy. I’m now accepting myself more and I want to make good choices for my future, but I can’t make decisions because I have been out of touch with myself for so long. I have a sense of what I like and don’t like in daily life but I don’t know what choices would align with the essence of who I am.3. I had a question about certain ED behavior. I’m wondering how often you have to purge for it to be considered an Eating Disorder. I’m sure you’ve answered this before but I thought I would ask specifically about purging.4. How do I work up the courage to talk to my therapist about something I’ve never talked about before, ever? The thing itself is more of a little t trauma, but it has a weird hold over me and makes me so anxious and has made me avoid things for a decade. I think because I’ve never talked about it and I’ve been avoiding it, it’s made it worse, so I wonder if finally talking about it will help. My therapist is great and I’ve been meeting with her for 5 years, but I get nervous about being vulnerable, especially since I think I’m having a disproportionate reaction. What should I do?5. What do we do if we've been abusive? I feel that I was abusive in a relationship, though my ex and every mental health professional I've met have said that I wasn't. The professionals have said it's just OCD. In any event, people have been trying to convince me I wasn't abusive for eleven years, ever since that relationship...6. I want to know my mom is a narcissist but when I was growing up my mom would wake up at night yells and run away I remember my dad always go after her and brings her back I don't know why she did it but it scared the hell out of me I didn't understand it because I was only a kid. Can it be why I am a light sleeper? And making my anxiety worse? I know it is not the only case I have been through a lot. I never did sleep deep because I was too scared. I felt I always had to protect myself in some way. Can it be why my anxiety is so highly present? I love your podcasts!PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join this channel & access more perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week, licensed therapist Kati Morton offers ways that we can care a little less about what other people think of us, how to stop emotional eating, and the ways we can use somatic responses to release anxiety and stress. She then helps motivate us to keep going when it feels like nothing is working, how we can better deal with having an invisible illness, and how to get unstuck in our life.

Ask Kati Anything - episode 228 audience questions:

1. How can I learn to care a little less about what others think of me - specifically, about being liked by *everyone*. It's exhausting. I'm obsessed with making sure that everyone thinks I'm a "nice" person, a "good" person, and the thought of someone being mad at me is really distressing. Worse, I notice that if I even think someone doesn't like me (which might not even be true!), I double stress and try extra hard to win them over...

2. How is it possible to stop emotional eating? I often see myself eating when stressed, for example. And for some reason, if I buy chocolate, I eat the whole thing in a day. Which wouldn't mind me so much if it didn't mean that I have nothing for the next day, additionally to me feeling absolutely sick after.

3. Hi Kati, can you talk about somatic responses to stress/anxiety? How does one manage this?

4. I’ve been made homeless because my relationship has broken down so I’m currently on the streets and charging my phone in McDonald’s. The reason my relationship has broken down is because of my trauma, I’ve had it all. Childhood SA, physical abuse, neglect, a narcissistic parent and a drug addicted parent, emotional abuse, gained an ED as a child from my mom. I can’t be around so many things without being triggered into flashbacks, I can’t have sex because of trauma, I’m too scared of men, I still struggle with eating and I self harm. I have been trying so hard working with my therapist, but recovery seems impossible and I’m wondering if it will ever get better? Will I ever recover?

5. How to deal with an invisible illness? Especially when I'm the invisible child in my family (I'm 40). I have dysautonomia after covid and pneumonia.... tachycardia, POTS, extreme fatigue, heat intolerance, shortness of breath, muscle deterioration, brain fog, costochondritis, among other things. It's been 2.5 years of absolute hell. My family sees me breathing and standing and "I'm not dead", so I must be making it up or exaggerating. Or I'm told constantly to "just calm down" and "it's just anxiety." I've been invisible and unheard in my family my whole life, as the youngest child. I'm never taken seriously, silenced if I offer an opinion, shut down if I offer to help. My family has no compassion for others, always victim blaming. And unfortunately these have been my caretakers, which I am grateful for, but their lack of empathy comes off as cruel.

6. I’m divorced 4 years after a 30 year marriage and now that I’m past the anger and resentment of betrayal we get along, which feels better in my body and is easier on our grown kids and few mutual friends. It was a confusing relationship and even more confusing breakup...

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join Kati's PATREON community to access more perks: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses why we can feel overly responsible in life, whether or not dreams can traumatize us, and dealing with constantly thoughts of suicide. She also explains why someone else’s trauma can affect us, what constitutes sexual abuse, and how to overcome nostalgic depression.

Audience Questions | Ask Kati Anything episode 227

1. How do we figure out what we're responsible for? Childhood experiences have left me with an over inflated sense of responsibility (or so I'm told). This hyper-responsibility is working with some other beliefs in hindering my ability to process a more recent trauma... 00:55

2. This question has got nothing to do with me, it’s just something that I’m just wondering. People dream horrible things fearing for their own life and safety. As dreams feel absolutely real while you’re dreaming them, I’m just wondering, could you get traumatized by dreams? 05:20

3. This year I have become really suicidal and am struggling with it every single day. My depression is so strong right now I can’t find joy in anything. I also have this feeling like I should be able to do something to make these terrible thoughts go away but there’s nothing. My therapist isn’t super helpful so I was wondering if you had any advice or could just talk about suicidality. 14:10

4. How do you get over trauma that isn’t even yours?! I wasn’t the one abused so why do I feel so bad???? Recently the church/school I grew up in has had a series of sexual abuse cases come out; a good friend of mine being one of them. The school/church was always legalistic and used corporal punishment but these new things are just coming out and being prosecuted. I found out my parents knew about it and blamed my friend/ didn’t believe her and continued to attend and keep us in the school/church for 7 more years. I’m so angry and upset and it didn’t even happen to me! This trauma isn’t mine and I feel like I am overreacting. I want to help my friend and not make it about me, how can I do that when I feel so triggered?? 22:27

5. As a child, I was held down and touched in inappropriate places by an older man (I was in elementary school, and he was about 10 years older). I was not raped and no clothes were removed, but I wonder if that is still sexual abuse? I only recall it happening once. Also, would remembering that experience cause a lot of anxiety and pain behind certain annual female appointments? 25:56

6. Can you talk about Nostalgic Depression? I already have severe depression but this mirrors my current emotions. I know it is perceiving the past as happier than the present, and unhappiness with current circumstances. I have intense grief over losing my dad in recent years. I also cry often over people I will never see again (death and lost friendships). I feel the same for places I will never see again. Songs, movies from when I was little, lost homes I will never be able to spend time in again, and most good memories cause me intense emotions such as regret, anger and loneliness. Those memories were better than anything I have been feeling for years. I feel like I’m constantly in mourning. 30:23

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join Kati's PATREON community to access more perks: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

On episode 226 of Ask Kati Anything, Kati addresses a range of complex mental health topics, including:

• The morality of suicide and assisted death for chronic illnesses
• Coping with anxiety around receiving compliments and kindness
• Moral responsibility for actions by individuals with severe mental illnesses
• Understanding and processing trauma and emotions
• Developing a sense of self after childhood trauma
• Breaking the cycle of narcissistic abuse and the importance of speaking up

Kati is a licensed therapist & provides insights and guidance on these challenging issues, offering a professional perspective while acknowledging the nuances and complexities involved in each situation.

Audience Question

1. Do you think suicide is selfish? And any thought on feeling like you're living not for yourself, but so that the people who love you won't be sad? I want to add this: Is it ever okay if you live with an illness like fibromyalgia or any other chronic condition where the symptoms are so unbearable? And is it different with terminal illnesses like cancer? 01:36

2. Sometimes I feel very anxious? Uncomfortable? like not sure what to do with myself when others say something nice to me or do something nice for me, especially for no particular reasons. I feel like I'm not deserving of it or like I have not earned it or that I can reciprocate it. So then I spend a lot of time thinking how... 17:21

3. Can people with severe mental illnesses be held morally responsible for things they did or ways they behave? There's a man on youtube named Daniel Larson, some may heard of him, he was a tik toker/youtube video vlogger who, according to documentation, has schizophrenia, autism, PTSD, and Bipolar. There could be more but I'm not sure. This man has seen a lot of online hate and harassment due to his behavior, which include: apparent attraction to underage people, delusions of fame and grandeur, a large sense of entitlement, and his physical violence towards his mentor when he had some kind of mental breakdown... 23:58

4. This may be an obvious question but what does it mean to 'process' an emotion or a trauma? I feel like this is a term we use a lot but no one really defines what it means. Are there prescribed steps that we need to follow? 30:54

5. Hi Kati I hope this question resonates with others but how do you know ‘who you are’ or have a sense of self if your childhood and adolescence was filled with multiple traumas and as a result the only constant in your adulthood is the side effects of the trauma. How do you become a person once you are already an adult? 40:40

6. My therapist said” By keeping quiet, you are allowing it to continue hurting you.” My mom is a narcissist. What the heck? I’m the “victim”! I don’t control her. I don’t choose anything she does to me. What is he saying? Sounds like he’s blaming me? 44:19

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join Kati's PATREON community to access more perks: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week on Ask Kati Anything (ep. 225) licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how to stop intellectualizing and actually feel our feelings, and she digs into grief and how we can process it. Then she talks about why we can feel like our mental illnesses are made up or exaggerated because we haven’t had a trauma or big event, ways we can healthily express our anger, and how she defines an eating disorder relapse. Finally, she walks us through the ways she decides what’s the human condition and what’s a symptom of a mental illness. 1. How do I stop intellectualizing my feelings and feel them? 01:23 2. Hey Kati! I was curious if you could talk about grief as an emotion, and how to cope with it and ways to help process it. Before therapy, I could not name any emotions, and I’ve gotten so much better at it. In fact, unbeknownst to me, I’ve actually always been quite the adept feeler of emotions— in the sense that I can find them in my body, I can talk about how they feel and the directions they move within me and through me... 08:27 3. Hello Kati, I often feel my MDD and GAD diagnosis is not warranted and it's 'all in my head' because I have not experienced any major negative life events or traumas. This has prevented me from discussing the things that I believe could be contributing to my symptoms because they don't feel important enough... 25:16 4. Hi Kati, I was wondering if you could talk about healthy ways to express anger. I come from a culture where expressing anger is shameful, especially for women. So my anger is as scary as fire flames for me. However, I have noticed my binge eating is fuelled by my unexpressed anger. So, can you please teach me some techniques about handling anger. Thanks for all your amazing work. 34:13 5. Hi Kati! Hope you’re doing well. I am wondering how a relapse in an eating disorder is defined. Is there a clinical-based definition or is it more of a gray area? Does it mean meeting the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis once again... 40:47 6. How do you figure out what's just 'the human condition' or a personality trait and what's an actual symptom? 55:08 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join this channel & access more perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com