In this episode of Chat By The Pitch, Ian sits down with North Texas player and administrator Kassandra Ruelas to unpack what it really looks like to grow up inside one of the most competitive girls’ soccer markets in the country. From yelling “goal” as her first word to playing with the boys and eventually earning a chance to play in Spain, Kassandra’s story is a masterclass in soccer IQ, resilience, and family support.

Kassandra talks about the pressure of DFW girls’ soccer, the unspoken politics of youth sports, and what it feels like to be overlooked and benched after being named captain—and why she refused to let that season define her. She shares how her mom’s sacrifices, her cousins’ professional careers (including stints in Mexico and with the Dallas Sidekicks), and training with the boys gave her the tools to navigate setbacks without losing her love for the game.

For players, this conversation shows how to use the field as your therapy, build your game around intelligence instead of just being bigger, faster, stronger, and survive the hard seasons. For parents, it’s a real look at travel, pressure, and why the right coach matters more than any alphabet-soup league. For coaches, Kassandra offers a player’s-eye view on communication, favoritism, and how one honest conversation can change a career.

Key Talking Points

• How soccer has always been part of Kassandra’s life — her first word was “goal,” and the living room was a mini-pitch growing up.

• The moment in middle school when soccer shifted from “fun with friends” to serious training, four-year plans, and future dreams on the pitch.

• Growing up in a North Texas soccer family — cousins who played pro in Mexico and indoors with the Dallas Sidekicks — and the self-imposed pressure to honor their investment in her.

• The Texas girls’ soccer environment: extremely competitive, with teammates and opponents now playing in the NWSL—and how that can mess with your head if you compare timelines.

• How her mom’s support and sacrifices (driving 1.5 hours in traffic, always backing her choices) helped balance the pressure.

• Soccer as therapy and creative outlet: using the game to disconnect from stress, reset emotionally, and express herself without overthinking.

• Learning to separate “family” from “coach” with her three cousins: flipping the switch from joking in the car to professionalism on the field.

• Kassandra’s club journey: Odyssey → Liverpool → Solar → FC Dallas → Texans → Sting → Al Nord Texas boys → heading to Spain to play with Villarreal.

• Why DFW competition at U13+ felt tougher than most out-of-state tournaments (except maybe California) and how playing the same high-level players for years sharpened her game.

• The hardest season: being told she’d be captain, then getting five minutes of game time, feeling overlooked, and wanting to quit—but choosing to control her work rate and attitude instead.

• Esteban’s advice on politics and the rollercoaster of soccer—you can’t want the highs without accepting the lows.

• How the DFW soccer community is a small world—one name can spark a 30-person chain of connections, from FC Dallas games to Starbucks encounters.

• The difference between Texas-style “athlete building” and Spanish tactical football, and why playing with boys forced her to lean on IQ instead of brute force.

• Why she turned down a DA opportunity because the coaching style didn’t fit her, even though the letters looked good.

• A player’s perspective on alphabet-soup leagues, constant travel, and chasing logos vs. staying local, dominating your backyard, and finding the right environment.

Quotes from Kassandra

• “My first word was ‘goal’ during a game. Soccer has literally always been there—I can’t remember life without it.”

• “If I’m not playing on the field, I’m not happy. It’s when I miss the...

World-renowned development leader Tom Byer joins the show to break down where real soccer development truly begins — inside the home. Tom explains how early touches, simple routines, and parent involvement build confidence, coordination, and long-term potential. We explore culture, neuroscience, at-home training, and why the U.S. continues to struggle with building a true development identity.

This episode gives parents, coaches, and clubs practical steps to build a stronger foundation for young players from the very beginning.

Key Talking Points

Tom’s Story & Global Impact

• NY → Japan: How Tom built one of the world’s most successful technical programs

• The beginnings of Soccer Starts at Home

• Why Japan embraced ball mastery at massive scale

Early Development Insights

• Real development starts before organized soccer

• Kids fall in love with the ball first, not the sport

• Importance of repetition: one child + one ball

• Early comfort becomes confidence and leadership

Culture & Science

• What Latin and Asian cultures do differently

• Neuroscience behind early learning

• Why games don’t teach foundational skills

• Why parent involvement shapes long-term potential

Practical Application

• Simple at-home routines for ages 2–6

• How to support older kids who start later

• What clubs can do to reinforce early development

• Building better collaboration between parents and coaches

💬 Quotes from Tom Byer

“Parents are the most important link in the development chain.”

“Kids fall in love with the ball first — not soccer.”

“If you want to push the ceiling, you have to raise the floor.”

“The best coach in the world can’t fix a weak foundation.”

“Culture develops players long before coaching ever does.”

“Most of what we call development is really just selection.”

“For young players, one child and one ball is more valuable than any game.”

“Ball mastery is the great equalizer — it gives every child a chance.”

“We keep trying to build superstructures on top of shaky foundations.”

“Real development starts years before a kid ever joins a team.”

🔗 Connect with Tom Byer

Website: soccerstartsathome.thinkific.com

Book: Soccer Starts at Home

Instagram: tom.byer

X: @TomSan106

📣 Follow Chat By The Pitch

Instagram: @ChatByThePitch

X: @ChatByThePitch

Facebook: Chat By The Pitch

Email: chatbythepitch@gmail.com

Links: linktr.ee/ChatByThePitch

#ChatByThePitch #TomByer #SoccerStartsAtHome#BallMastery #YouthSoccer #PlayerDevelopment#TechnicalTraining #SoccerParents #GrassrootsSoccer#YouthSports #SoccerDevelopment #FootballEducation

Mentioned in this episode:

Soccer Innovations: Award-Winning Soccer Equipment & Accessories

Soccer Innovations

Reeplayer: Greater access to footage gives every young athlete the opportunity to develop and be seen. Reeplayer is committed to making footage accessible to teams, families, and athletes of all backgrounds.

Reeplayer

TeamPlayr: Find and join the perfect youth
soccer team

TeamPlayr

In Part 2 of our two-part series with Juan Martinez — founder of JMS Soccer and president of DKSC — we move beyond the academy structure and dig into the deeper layers of development that parents rarely see. Juan opens up about the realities of North Texas soccer culture, the misconceptions around “connections,” and how he uses his network not as a selling point, but as a responsibility to serve disciplined players who put in the work.

Juan explains what it really takes for an athlete to earn his recommendation, why truth and accountability matter more than hype, and how he keeps kids grounded while helping them chase college, national team, or professional opportunities. We also explore character development, moral skills, parental influence, pathways beyond club soccer, and why the dream must belong to the player — not the parent.

If you’re a soccer parent trying to understand the real pathway from ages 12–14 to college or pro, Part 2 delivers the unfiltered truth.

📌 Key Talking Points

• The misconception around “connections” and what they actually mean

• North Texas as a cutthroat, highly competitive soccer market

• Parents fearing their child won’t be recruited if they’re not at the “right” club

• How Juan uses his network to help players — quietly, without promoting it

• Why Juan will not recommend a player who lacks work ethic or attitude

• Examples of Juan contacting major programs on players’ behalf

• “Real talk”: asking players if they want honest feedback

• Keeping kids humble — correcting body language, temper, effort

• Why character skills and moral skills matter as much as soccer skills

• Teaching athletes to write letters to themselves about who they want to be

• How attitude directly affects how teammates experience you

• The pathway funnel: dual citizenship, national teams, international scouts

• Why discipline and daily habits determine whether a pathway even exists

• Educating parents on timing, contracts, rights, and player value

• Helping players navigate college offers strategically

• Why most pathways depend on player drive, not parental desire

• Homeschool vs. private school comparison for elite training

• Why JMS Academy will not become a full school

• JMS Fit/Futuro as expansion for players not ready for full academy

• How success is defined: players going pro, earning scholarships, leadership qualities

💬 Guest Quotes

• “It’s very cutthroat. North Texas soccer is cutthroat.”

• “Most of the time people don’t even know that I’m doing that.”

• “I’m not sticking my neck out for just anybody.”

• “If you’re not technically sound… if you don’t use both feet… I can’t recommend you.”

• “I want to serve as many kids as possible, but in the right way.”

• “I don’t have a plan to grow the wrong way — I want to grow the right way with the right people.”

• “Everyone has a shelf life. Once I stop coaching, I want to use all my resources to honor God.”

• “Kids aren’t being creative anymore because we make every decision for them.”

• “Always count on change — we’re always reinventing and trying to get better.”

• “You keep everybody humble — you never let them get bigheaded.”

• “If it’s not their dream, you’re wasting your time.”

• “Know your child. If it’s their dream, it’s worth it. If it’s yours, it’s not.”

• “If your child isn’t touching a ball every day, they’re not falling in love with the sport yet.”

• “I’ve seen so many parents running the race for their kids — and it never works.”

• “Being part of a player reaching their goal… that’s the most fulfilling thing.”

• “They do all the work, all the sacrifice. I’m just part of their journey.”

Connect with JMS Soccer / JMS Academy

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