Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, I hope you’re on good form and by the end of this episode got a better sense of how you can help yourself find focus, sustain your attention and experience traction. I'm Jessica Chivers, a coaching psychologist, author and developer of the Comeback Community employee experience, of which this podcast is a part.

The idea for this episode has been stirring in mind for some time because focus is a frequent source of conversation with coachees who are returning to work from maternity leave with less time on their hands than they had pre-baby. If you’re not a new parent or a parent at all I think you’ll get plenty from listening to the psychology and my personal hacks that I’m going to share with you.

REFERENCES

• Ficca, G., Axelsson, J., Mollicone, D. J., Muto, V., & Vitiello, M. V. (2010). Naps, cognition and performance. Sleep medicine reviews, 14(4), 249-258.
• Leroy, s. (2009). Why is it so hard to do my work? The challenge of attention residue when switching between work tasks. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 109 (2) 168-181: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0749597809000399

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, I'm inspired to bring you this episode as I've been invited to be part of a 'Human Library' at CIPD's Festival of Work where my title is "How to not burnout as a parent of a neurodiverse or challenge child." Journaling or 'free-writing' as a I call it has been one of my consistently useful coping tools, especially over the last two years, and I'll be talking about that.

I'm talking you through the science of a very specific journaling protocol that has a very significant evidence base in the academic research literature. It was developed by Professor James Pennebaker in 1986.

Here are the links I mention in the episode:

Caremail: https://www.subscribepage.com/comebackcommunity

Huberman Lab podcast 20/11/23 A Science-Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/a-science-supported-journaling-protocol-to-improve-mental-physical-health

Professor James Pennebaker research: https://liberalarts.utexas.edu/psychology/faculty/pennebak

Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing (summary of research findings) by Baikie & Wilhelm (2018) published in Advances of Psychiatric Treatment: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/emotional-and-physical-health-benefits-of-expressive-writing/ED2976A61F5DE56B46F07A1CE9EA9F9F

Therapist Uncensored podcast episode 225 with James Pennebaker: https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/neuroscience-proven-writing-protocol-james-pennebaker-225/

Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GK5817W/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, at the end of 2023 I read about a landmark legal victory for a former Avon Fire and Rescue Service employee, Sasha Acheson, who won her sex discrimination case against the organisation. Reading that piece got me curious about the experiences of female firefighters after they’ve notified their employer that they’re pregnant; what it’s like to have to shift from active frontline duty to something else and what it’s like to return to an environment where you may not have a single colleague near you who understands what you’ve been through.

My guest today is NOT that former employee but a Emma Young, a female firefighter who has a lot to say about what it’s like to be a pregnant woman in the fire service. Emma has a 15 month old daughter and she’s currently pregnant with her second, a pregnancy that she found out about just as she was returning from maternity leave.

You’re going to hear about:

• How Emma navigated the lack of maternity policy and the difference a good line manager can make in uncertain circumstances.
• Lack of knowledge in the fire service around the needs of a person who is put on modified duties.
• The impact of a disconnect between what organisations say they want to do to be inclusive and what happens in practice.
• And as ever, my guest’s wobbliest moment as she returned to work, a high point and Emma’s three top tips.

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, my guest coachee today is Sabeha, a first time mother based in London who has returned to work for a Californian tech company. It's a conversation about the tension that exists within us when we want to give more to work and also be present at home - and the specific challenge of working for a US organisation who comes online as your working day is drawing to a close.

In this coaching session we explore:

• How to experience more joy, not just “getting through it” as a working parent.
• Wanting to work more hours than you’re able to.
• Discomfort and tension leaving work before you feel ready to, to be with your child(ren)
• Tensions with our partner about what time we go ‘on duty’ caring for our child(ren)

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Yvette Bramley, a woman who describes herself as a full time mum and part time business psychologist. She works with the Quality Team at Lexxic, a specialist psychological consultancy and the focus of her role is ensuring the quality their delivery and reports through training, audits, spot checks and actioning client feedback. She proudly tole me after we’d chatted that was she was always a “weird” kid growing up and hopes she continues being the weird one. She also told me – and I quote:

"Patience does not come naturally to me and I am a control “freak” but it works for my family. However, my daughter has taught me to be more relaxed and spontaneous. I no longer live life focusing on the next qualification or physical achievement. I now live to have fun and experience as much joy daily as possible".

Yvette is my most energetic guest yet and you’re going to hear about:

• Why KIT days are a brilliant thing to do when you’re on maternity leave.
• Getting comfortable with changing your mind about career development activities you simply don’t want to find the time and energy for now you’re a working parent.
• Recognising how successful you already are and remembering to question self-talk that suggests otherwise.

COMEBACK COACH is part of a broader package of support that we call the Comeback Community employee experience. It’s a blend of online resources, coaching, live expert Q&As, career development tools and line manager support that we deliver in organisations such as ITV, Lily’s Kitchen, GAM Investments, Federated Hermes, Veolia and more. Find out more and help us start a conversation with your HR team at www.comebackcommunity.co.uk/introduce.

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

This short “JUST JESSICA EPISODE” is about managing rumination, how to keep healthy habits going when you’re consumed by work and the psychology of mindful meditation. It’s inspired by a particular coaching conversation I had one Tuesday a few weeks ago. I put these episodes together myself without the lovely Chris cleaning up bumps in the sound or adding in the swanky intro and outro and I hope you get something from it. If you do I’d love it if you shared it with someone else who you think might like it too.

Click here for "DAILY CHECK-IN" tool you can download and print for your wellbeing.

The meditation mantras I mentioned in this episode:

Hummee Hum – The Other is you by Mirabai Cieba (12 mins) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CFI0hslXv8

Ramadasa by Satkirin Kaur Khalsa (12 mins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrVewRvqNrE

The article I mentioned about meditation and the DMN on the Mindfulness Association’s website: https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/science-of-mindfulness/meditation-and-the-default-mode-network/

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, this is a very different episode to anything I’ve done before. Brian is a chap whose energy, openness and actions around supporting fathers I’ve admired on LinkedIn for quite some time. Throughout the time Brian and I have been in each others’ orbits he’s worked for Amazon as a Program Manager in Luxembourg, whilst also training to be a coach. In June last year (2023) I spotted a very candid post from Brian about expecting to be made redundant so I got in touch to offer my condolences and to tell him how much I liked reading what he was writing about what he was anticipating and we started swapping voice notes. I do love a voice note!

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film

Ask me a Q

Hello Bright Minds, my guest today is Michaela Thomas, a clinical psychologist I’ve been really looking forward to chatting to because we’ve been batting voice notes back and forth for about a year and then I heard Michaela on a podcast I’ve been lapping up over the last 9 months (Kate Moryousef's ADHD WOMEN'S WELLBEING) that was the galvanising stroke to get Michaela on.

I originally wanted to have a chat with Michaela about how to keep partner/spousal relationships feeling good once you have a baby and go back to work and the pressure ramps up drawing upon her own lived experience as well as her professional insight. She’s the author of a book called The Lasting Connection – which is about developing compassion for yourself and your partner - and has a podcast called Pause Purpose Play. I’ve since learned that Michaela also has a special interest in perfectionism and she has an ADHD brain and is starting to do more work in that area too. Given my recent diagnosis of ADHD and our growing interest in neurodiversity as a coaching team my mind I thought wow, let’s get Michaela on to talk about her return to work and all of these things. So, you have an extra long episode today because there’s so much I wanted to chat to her about.

If you like what you hear from Michaela then you can find her on Instagram @the_thomas_connection and Facebook @TheThomasConnection.

**Michaela is going to be joining me on Tuesday 21st May 2024 12 NOON for a live Q&A on HOW TO LIVE & WORK WELL WITH AN ANXIOUS MIND AND OTHER MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES. The Q&A is part of the Comeback Community employee experience programme and once our clients have had first dibs we open spare spots to all absolutely free**.
.
.

MORE FOR YOU

• DM Jessica on instagram @comebackcommuk
• Join a free expert 'Comeback Conversation' Q&A event
• Read Mothers Work! How to Get a Grip on Guilt and Make a Smooth Return to Work by Jessica Chivers.
• Watch five coachees talk about working with us
• Tell your HR team about Comeback Community with this 1 minute explainer film