It's a common - if painful - dynamic: we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done.

It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain.

In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question: "What can I do when I share my pain with my spouse and he blames me for it?"

Highlights include:

• 2:50 If all I get is blame, why should I even try to have the conversation?
• 7:03 How to ground a discussion in a micro moment
• 10:03 Scripts that help "waking up" feel pleasurable and not painful
• 12:05 Doing the inner work necessary for successful conversations
• 15:15 A script for getting to "Yes"
• 22:54 "I'm not trying to change you."
• 24:24 The role of our defensive system

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Here are more ways to connect with me:

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It can be so difficult to know what to say next. Whether you need to have a personal or professional conversation, sometimes finding the words are hard.

In this week's podcast, we script out four different conversations for four different scenarios. We discuss:

• 1:06 "Please tell me you love me, dad."
• 8:54 "I'm sorry, but you're fired."
• 15:47 "I want to stay. Do you want that, too?"
• 29:16 "Dear child, this is my boundary."

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Thank you for tuning in. Remember to subscribe so you get notified when I publish an episode weekly.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• What's Your Listening Style: Take the Quiz!
• Have a Question? Join us live
• Want to Work with Me? Read More Here.
• IG: @dryvetteerasmus
• TikTok: @dr.yvetteerasmus
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvetteerasmus/

What do you do when you discover that a friend or loved one sees something in a polar opposite way to how you're seeing it?

Are you able to stay in a place of grounded, open curiosity, or do you find yourself getting worked up and activated, wanting to change their minds?

It can be very challenging to connect with loved ones when our belief systems don't match, or when our worldviews are colliding.

On this week's podcast, we tackle the hard work of connecting - with friends, with family - around hot button issues.

We discuss:

• 1:37 How can I connect with my parents who don't support my choices?
• 13:55 My best friend and I clash over Palestine
• 33:23 An NVC celebration regarding Human 101
• 39:27 Moving past the past

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Thank you for tuning in. Remember to subscribe so you get notified when I publish an episode weekly.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• What's Your Listening Style: Take the Quiz!
• Have a Question? Join us live
• Want to Work with Me? Read More Here.
• IG: @dryvetteerasmus
• TikTok: @dr.yvetteerasmus
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvetteerasmus/