Episode 11 - Introduction to fierce independence or hyper-independence and the inability to ask for help

In today's episode I will be discussing fierce independence, also referred to as hyper-independence as it relates to trauma. If you find it extremely difficult to ask for and to receive help, push people trying to help you away and have a preference of doing everything by yourself, you could be experiencing hyper-independence which may be a trauma response. Many people who are fiercely independent have acted in such a way for so long that they don’t even know why hyper-independence may exist.

So what exactly is fierce independence?

Hyper-independence is when someone has the overpowering sense and feeling that they must rely upon themselves in order to survive. Hyper independence can mean existing with a perspective of “I” when it comes to challenges and tasks as opposed to a “we” perspective - this can lead to having a great deal of trouble delegating tasks, refusing help and constantly over exerting themselves by taking on more than they can handle. A person with hyper-independence may be extremely hesitant to trust others for help and support - whether that is emotional or physical support, When hyper-independence is at an extreme it can cause challenges with forming meaningful relationships. While independence is a very important and helpful attribute, when a person becomes independent to the point when they refuse help that would make things simpler and easier and they may cause themselves feelings of isolation and unneeded stress.

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Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata