Episodios

  • The Group I Didn't Know I Needed

    The Group I Didn't Know I Needed
    Oct 2 2025
    Welcome back to another episode of Dancing with Depression. I'm Adam. And today I want to talk about something I never thought I would talk about. Group therapy. Or as I said at the time, group therapy. OK. So let me rewind just a little bit. On July 22nd, I felt like I was drowning at work. Now, I'm sure we've all felt overwhelmed before. You know, that feeling of spinning your wheels, crossing one thing off of your to-do list, only to have three more things show up. But this felt different. Everyday responsibilities, mounting stress, and the weight of trying to hold it all together, it just became too much. And I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. The next day, July 23rd. I found myself sitting with my psychiatrist and after that conversation, I made the decision that I've never made before. I submitted a claim for short-term disability. I didn't fully understand what that even meant or what came next. I didn't fully understand what that meant or even what came next. I just knew one thing for sure. The way I was living wasn't working. My hope was that some time away from work might just help me catch my breath. You know, maybe reset. How? I had no clue. I just knew I couldn't keep going the way I was. As I started planning what time away would look like, both my psychiatrist and therapist suggested something I hadn't even considered. A mental health clinic. Now that was definitely not part of my plan. Mostly because let's be honest, I didn't have one. So I did what most of us do when we're unsure of something. I did a Google search. And it was like I was choosing a restaurant while on vacation. And I went straight to the reviews. The clinic that had been recommended had received a 3.6 out of five stars, with 113 reviews, which I felt was a significant amount to gauge what kind of facility this would be. Now, I don't know about you, but I tend to jump straight to the bad reviews so that one, I could determine if it was worth going any further. But I also, think, was subconsciously building my exit strategy as to why this wouldn't be a good fit. But I read probably 10 different reviews. And I realized that there wasn't anything that consistently stood out. There were some challenges I'm sure people experience, but they seem to be very isolated. And many of them were about the food not being that great. That's. Wasn't going to be strong enough for me to to say no. And. I always remind myself that especially when you're reading other people's experiences and reviews that there's always two sides to every story and the truth usually lands somewhere in between. So I decided to move on and check out the website, learn a little bit more about the different programs that they had to offer. And I read they had three options. The first one was residential. The second one was PHP. And the third one was IOP. So the website breaks down what each of those programs consist of and Essentially, the residential program is that of what it sounds. You're living on their facility, which happens to be in 30 minutes away from where I am. But you're there for 30 days and you are in full day group therapy. You have weekly psychiatrist and therapist sessions, and then they have weekend activities like yoga or journaling or ARP. The second option was PHP, which is partial hospitalization. Again, you're going to their facility. It's a structured day, so you're there from 9 o'clock in the morning till 4 in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. But you go home. And the third option is IOP, which is intensive outpatient. It's much more flexible. I learned later on that a lot of people step down and kind of use the IOP to transition from a residential program into kind of going back into their normal routine. The way I viewed IOP was I could still be at home and that was what was comfortable for me. My initial reaction with regards to residential was no way. And the funny part was I said to myself, I'm not mentally ready for residential. Yeah, not mentally ready for mental health treatment. Sounds ridiculous, but this is also the same guy that admitted that he stopped taking all of his medications cold turkey. So. That's where I was at. I landed on IOP. As I mentioned, it felt like the safest choice. I could be in my own home and honestly. I didn't go in with big expectations or goals on what I was hoping to get from therapy, I just knew that I had to do something. And like everything within the medical or healthcare systems, there was forms that I had to fill out. There was screenings and evaluations to ensure that I could benefit from the program. And eventually I did end up getting the call that I had been accepted and I was scheduled to start August 15th at 9 a.m. In the days leading up to that, my mind was racing and asking questions like, is this really happening? Is this going to help me? How did I even get here? But first day came and those questions shifted from curiosity to a full on panic....
    Más Menos
    21 m
  • Walking Beside Anxiety and Depression - A Partner's Perspective

    Walking Beside Anxiety and Depression - A Partner's Perspective
    Sep 25 2025
    Welcome back to another episode of Dancing With Depression.I want to start with a quick update on where I stand after several months of being off my anxiety and depression medication. I’m happy to say that some small but meaningful improvements have shown up—I’m taking more showers, and when my laundry is done drying, I actually fold it and put it away. Small wins matter.But it hasn’t all been easy. Anxiety still creeps in—especially at work—and depression still rears its ugly head. The toughest part is, I rarely recognize it in the moment. For example, not too long ago, I told Bobbie I was thinking about selling everything in my man cave—my vinyl records, my favorite movie posters, and even my sports jerseys. Bobbie gently asked if it was really what I wanted, or if it was my depression talking. After some reflection, I realized she was right—it was depression.That moment connects to another experience I had while listening to music. A lyric jumped out at me: “But I can’t be your only remedy; tryin’ to save you, gon’ kill me.” It’s from the song “Dear Alcohol” by Dax, with that line sung by Carly Pearl in the remix. If you haven’t heard it, go check it out—you won’t be disappointed. That lyric stood out to me because of a specific conversation Bobbie and I had just a few weeks prior. Which brings me to today’s episode. What you’re about to hear is a conversation between Bobbie & I, which took place two months after the initial conversation where Bobbie so accurately describes it as “Giving it to me…” a very difficult—but necessary—moment where Bobbie shared where she was in our relationship: what she was missing, and what she needed if I couldn’t provide it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to listen to, but it was also honest and truthful. And yes, it happened on my birthday—but for me, that was just a coincidence that showed how important it was for her to get it out.So, with that context, let’s jump in.In the last episode, I invited you to walk in my shoes as I shared what it was like to stop taking medication cold turkey. This time, I want to turn things around. Today, I invite you to walk in the shoes of my wife, Bobbie. She’ll be sharing her perspective on what it’s like to live with—and love—someone with a mental health diagnosis. She’ll talk about the challenges she’s faced, what she needed in order to keep supporting me, and how she decided whether our foundation was strong enough to withstand the tornado of my anxiety and depression.Before we begin, let me tell you a little about Bobbie. She spends her days caring for patients as a dental hygienist. Now, I know some of you might cringe just thinking about going to the dentist, but trust me—there’s something different, something special, about Bobbie’s abilities. And I’m not just saying that because I’m her husband. The patient reviews back it up. And besides, I’m not just her husband—I’m also her patient.Over our 9 ½ years of marriage, one thing has become clear: Bobbie doesn’t speak just to fill the silence. When she shares something, it’s because she’s thought it through. So when she told me she had something important to share, I knew I needed to pay attention.And the truth is, Bobbie’s knowledge in this area has always been ahead of mine. While I can clear out a sports-related Jeopardy category, she’s the one who has the science and chemistry answers locked down. I still can’t pronounce half of the prescriptions I’ve been on, but she sounds like a pharmacist.Her compassion and understanding carried us far, but eventually, she reached a point where she needed to ask me directly: was I going to stay in survival mode, or was I ready to put in the work—for us?This is that conversation, recorded two months after that pivotal moment. Let’s listen.--------Start of audio DWD S2 E3 – A Partners Perspective 2 of 3I think you mean what happened that I decided to have the conversation. What put me over the edge. don't know what put me over the edge, but I just felt like I care about our relationship and if it was gonna continue, it couldn't continue to go on the way that it was. I couldn't continue like we were and I care enough that I wanna address it and not let it die. And so we're obviously addressing my anxiety and depression and you know, I think we've talked about this, that we show what we want to show. And there's things that you're dealing with that I might not have realized in the moment. So what are some of the things that you deal with? ⁓ The conversation was just a check-in. I think if you are not open and honest with your partner, then you don't really have a relationship. So if I'm not telling you how I feel... What are we doing? And it was kind of where I was at. I couldn't continue to do what, quote, we were doing, because we weren't doing. I was struggling alone, trying to hold everything in, because you ...
    Más Menos
    32 m
  • Unmedicated: Facing Depression Without a Prescription

    Unmedicated: Facing Depression Without a Prescription
    Jul 25 2025
    Welcome back to another episode of Dancing With Depression. Today’s conversation is one that’s deeply personal, raw, and vulnerable. We’re diving into the effects of medication—what it’s like when I’m on it, and what happened when I decided, on my own, to stop taking it.Before we begin, I want to make something very clear: these are my personal experiences. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please seek professional help. You can call 1-800-950-NAMI (that’s 1-800-950-6264) or text NAMI to 62640. You're not alone, and there are people who care and want to help.There’s a saying that I think is the perfect framework for this episode:“Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes.”So, today, I invite you to walk in mine.----The DecisionA few months ago, I made a decision—not recommended by a professional, not thought out, and definitely not the smartest one in my 49 years on this earth—to stop all of my medication. Yup, cold turkey.And when I say “all,” I mean ALL:My anxiety and depression medicationMy diabetes medicationMy cholesterol medicationLet me pause and give you a second to ask the question that everyone asks me when I tell them this: “Why?” “What were you thinking?”And my honest answer is:I don’t know.I just knew I was tired of feeling like a numb little bug. Of going through life like a robot. Sure, the medication was working—it was helping my anxiety and depression—but I didn’t feel like myself. I wasn’t folding laundry, wasn’t showering regularly, wasn’t picking up the phone to call people I love. I wanted to do these things, I had internal conversations about doing these things, I even said how beneficial they would be…but no action followed.Even joy started feeling… muted.----The CrashThe first sign something was wrong? I was keeping myself awake until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I’ve always been a night owl, but this was different. I’d be up at 2, 3, 4 a.m., not because I was energized—but because I was trying to keep my brain busy until it just gave out. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts.And here’s where I need to tread carefully. The thoughts I was having were about death, but not suicide. I was struggling with the concept of life and death—grappling with existence itself. It's hard to explain, and maybe I’ll try in another episode once I can wrap my brain around it a little better. But it was scary, and heavy, and consuming. I’d like to add that this moment was part of my crash, and if I had chosen not to share it, only a select few would have known. But not everyone has that luxury.Society today is quick to pull out a phone and record a developing situation, hoping it “goes viral.” Maybe this name rings a bell, maybe it doesn’t—but what comes to mind when I say Delonte West?Delonte West was a professional basketball player in the NBA. He played for the Dallas Mavericks, Boston Celtics, and Cleveland Cavaliers, earning just over $16 million over the course of eight seasons. His story perfectly reflects the saying, “Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes.”In 2022, a video of Delonte West went viral showing the former NBA player panhandling in a gas station parking lot. The overwhelming majority of the comments focused on how much money he had made during his career, as if being an NBA player somehow protected him from “being human.” People judged him without knowing he was battling addiction and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.We have access to an endless amount of information, yet we still haven’t mastered the ability to understand what is happening in someone’s life—much less why it’s happening.We have to do better. I encourage you to do better…----A Glimmer of GoodNow, I won’t say there weren’t any positives. The biggest one? I was reintroduced to my emotions. I cried when watching the video of a soldier come home and surprising his family. You know the ones I’m talking about….– I ugly cried watching the Disney/Pixar movie - Inside Out – nothing like a good cry!That emotion had been missing for years, often times I questioned if it would ever reappear. It did & I’m glad!And I’ve restarted my diabetes and cholesterol meds. ----The Ripple EffectWhat I didn’t realize at the time was how much this decision impacted not just me—but everyone around me.1. WorkLet’s start with work. In sales, hitting quota isn’t just about personal pride—it directly affects your manager’s income. When I stopped my meds, my performance dropped. I missed my quota for months.Many managers would’ve written me off. “Burnout,” they’d say. Or “maybe he’s looking for a new job.” But my manager? He noticed something was off.He didn’t pry. He just said, “I’m here if you need anything.” And when I finally told him what I was going through—he didn’t judge. He listened. That didn’t...
    Más Menos
    15 m
  • My Father, His Depression, and the Lessons I Carry

    My Father, His Depression, and the Lessons I Carry
    Jul 25 2025

    In this deeply personal Season 2 premiere, Adam Turner sits down with his father for an honest and emotional conversation about depression, resilience, and reflection across generations. From childhood illness to antisemitism, from the classroom to the synagogue, Adam’s father shares the moments that shaped his mental health—and how he managed to show up anyway as a teacher, husband, and father.

    This episode is more than a story—it’s a powerful reminder that depression doesn’t always look like what we expect. Through music, long drives, theater, and faith, Adam’s father found ways to navigate his darkest moments. And in doing so, he kept a promise to his children that shaped Adam’s own journey with depression.

    Key Discussion Points:

    • How childhood health struggles and school experiences planted early emotional wounds
    • Facing antisemitism in education and community life
    • The emotional toll of teaching and the transition into retirement
    • Finding solace in music, fishing, acting, and service
    • How depression affects relationships—and how counseling can help
    • Parenting through depression and keeping promises that heal across generations

    Key Takeaways:

    • Depression can build over decades and resurface in surprising ways
    • Coping mechanisms—like music, nature, or storytelling—can offer powerful relief
    • Talking about pain doesn’t just bring healing—it passes on strength
    • A parent’s quiet consistency may become a child’s lifelong anchor
    • Retelling our stories can shift shame into legacy

    Join the Conversation:

    Have you had a conversation like this with a loved one? I’d love to hear your reflections. Email me at: dancingwithdepression@yahoo.com

    Until next time, remember: when it comes to depression, Take the Lead.
    Más Menos
    33 m
  • The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

    The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media
    Jul 9 2024
    In today's episode, I explore the complex impact social media has had on my life. I share how it has helped me stay connected with loved ones 800 miles away while also consuming hours of my day and leaving me feeling desensitized and questioning my identity. I share my struggles with managing my time on various social media platforms and reflect on how this constant content consumption has affected my compassion. Additionally, I ponder the critical question: "How does a child or teenager process this unfiltered content?" Join me as I navigate the highs and lows of our digital age.Dancing With Depression is part of QuietLoud Studios.A podcast network where reflection and voice come together.Learn more: https://quietloudstudios.com/Need assistance with your podcast? Connect with KazCM. They make content creation enjoyable and accessible.Learn more: https://kazcm.com/--More about this episode "The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media":Do you think you spend too much time on Social Media? I don’t think I do…I KNOW I DO! Of course I have good reasons to be on platforms like Facebook, Instagram & TikTok…my wife views my “reasons” more like excuses. I originally used Facebook to stay connected with my friends & family back after I moved to NC from CT. I was able to watch the journey of a friend go from taking care of several teenagers to taking care of herself and graduate college – she was in her 40’s when she graduated with honors, I watched another friend live her dream & become a mother to 2 boys, not to mention all of the births, birthdays,Weddings, Anniversaries & other life changing events that took place while I was 800 miles away. As far as Instagram & TikTok well…I’ve got nothing – it became more of a time sucker. I find the videos posted on Instagram & TikTok to be very entertaining, but 3 hours later the ONLY thing I can think about is the garbage still needs to be taken out, the dishes aren’t going to wash themselves & if I don’t do a load of laundry people are going to see me in the same clothes for the 3rd day in a row!!! Have you ever ask why we spend so much time on Social Media? Recently, I did just that! I wanted to see when I went on, for how long, & what was I looking at. I realized I went on to distract myself from “life”…it was an escape from having to be a responsible adult. I was on different social media platforms for hours on end & the content I was consuming wasn’t specific – it ranged from watching people get their ear wax removed, to watching cattle get their hooves cleaned & cut, to barbers cutting hair, to dance competition videos, to sports highlights, and on and on and on. The content was NEVER ENDING and it had WHATEVER YOU WERE LOOKING FOR AT THAT MOMENT!!! Before TikTok I wasn’t interested in ear wax removal…but I am FACINATED BY IT NOW!!! The videos I mentioned are light hearted, but there is a never ending amount of videos that contains footage of things, in my opinion, the general public shouldn’t have access to. For example, a video showing a man being suffocated to death when an officer had his knee on the neck of the victim for 8 min & 46 seconds…of which 2 minutes & 53 seconds of that time the victim was non-responsive. I’m not looking to start a debate about what happened leading up to that incident – my point is focused on the fact that anyone with cable, internet access or a smartphone could see the footage of this man’s eventual death. What effect does this have on our society? How does a child, a teenager, a mother, a brother, a father, process this info – I’ve shared my experiences with death and the effect I believe they have on me 30+ years later. The combination of curiosity & accessibility appears to be a dangerous combination. Just the other day I was eating lunch and decided to distract myself by watching some videos online – when I read a caption that lead me to believe I really don’t want to watch this video…but I didn’t have the discipline not to hit play. The caption reads “Laughing Teens Intentionally Drive Car Into Cyclist, KILLING HIM” – (PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUSE) After watching the video there were a few things that went through my mind: How? Why? & WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?The how was directed at how was this so easily accessible The why was about the thought process of these teenagersFinally, the what is wrong with me was specific to the fact I just witnessed a man being murdered and it was as if I had watched this happen a dozen times before. I was sympathetic and felt terrible thinking about this man, his family, etc. But why wasn’t I crying, sick to my stomach, SOMETHING MORE! Am I numb to this behavior? I don’t know with 100% certainty, but I do know it follows a similar pattern in my life as I track down the root of my depression. There is no question that ones’ personal experience will have a greater effect on that individual in ...
    Más Menos
    9 m
  • The Impact of Songs & “The One” That Spoke for Me

    The Impact of Songs & “The One” That Spoke for Me
    Jul 9 2024
    In today’s episode, I discuss the CDs spinning in my 5-disc changer and explore their profound impact on me. I highlight three songs, each unique in genre, lyrics, and emotional resonance. Relating to a song is a deeply personal and emotional experience shaped by the powerful connection between the lyrics, melody, and the listener's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Join me as I unpack the diverse ways these songs touch my life and reflect on the universal power of music.Dancing With Depression is part of QuietLoud Studios. A podcast network where reflection and voice come together.Learn more: https://quietloudstudios.com/Need assistance with your podcast? Connect with KazCM. They make content creation enjoyable and accessible.Learn more: https://kazcm.com/--More about this episode: "The Impact of Songs & “The One” That Spoke for Me"We all have “our jams”, you know the songs that you can’t not dance to or stop yourself from crying – one can connect with a song for a variety of reasons: Relating to a song is a deeply personal and emotional experience that can vary from person to person. It often involves a strong connection between the lyrics, melody, and the listener's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Here are some ways in which someone can relate to a song:1. Lyrics: Many people relate to songs through the lyrics. When the words of a song resonate with someone's own experiences or emotions, it can create a powerful connection. Whether it's a breakup, a celebration, or a reflection on life, lyrics can capture the essence of a particular moment or feeling.2. Emotional resonance: Music has the unique ability to tap into our emotions and stir up deep-seated feelings. A song that mirrors your current emotional state or helps you express what you're feeling can be incredibly relatable. It's like the song is giving voice to your emotions.3. Personal experiences: Sometimes, a song can evoke memories and transport you back to a particular time and place in your life. When a song is linked to a specific memory or period, it can create a strong sense of connection.4. Themes and stories: Songs often tell stories or convey themes that are universally relatable. Whether it's a song about love, friendship, loss, or resilience, these themes can connect with a wide range of listeners who have experienced similar situations.5. Cultural and societal context: A song can also reflect the cultural or societal context in which it was created. It may address social issues, capture the spirit of a generation, or comment on current events. Listeners who identify with these contexts may find the song relatable in a broader sense.6. Musical elements: It's not always about the lyrics or the theme of a song. The music itself, including the melody, rhythm, and instrumentation, can evoke emotions and resonate with listeners. A simple melody can be just as relatable as profound lyrics.7. Identity and self-expression: Some songs can become anthems for individuals or communities, helping people express their identities or beliefs. These songs serve as a form of self-expression and create a sense of belonging.8. Interpretation and perspective: The same song can be interpreted in different ways by different people, depending on their unique perspectives and experiences. This allows for a diverse range of listeners to relate to a song in their own distinct manner.9. Personal growth and change: Songs that reflect personal growth, transformation, or overcoming challenges can be particularly relatable during times of change or self-discovery. They may serve as sources of inspiration and motivation.10. Connection with the artist: Sometimes, people relate to a song because they have a deep admiration for the artist. Their connection to the artist's life story, struggles, or creative journey can make the song more relatable.In the end, relating to a song is a subjective and highly personal experience. It's about finding a piece of music that resonates with your emotions, experiences, and the unique story of your life. Music has the power to connect us with ourselves and others, providing solace, joy, and a sense of belonging in the process. What song or song(s) do you connect with? How does it make you feel? Where does it take you? Who do you think of?There are hundreds of songs that I connect with, but 3 songs that stand out – although the genre, the message & the time in my life I was introduced to vary…they are all equally impactful! The first song that hits me is C.R.E.A.M by Wu-Tang Clan…I’ll let that sit for a second, not because I’m a 47 year old white guy from Connecticut…no wait that is EXACTLY why I will let you catch up. If you have ever been to a Wu-Tang concert you wouldn’t really be surprised hearing a 47 year old white guy likes them – I’ve had the pleasure of seeing them twice – the 1st time they played ...
    Más Menos
    19 m
  • Losing Friends Before 23 and Its Impact on Depression

    Losing Friends Before 23 and Its Impact on Depression
    Jul 8 2024
    In today’s episode, we're going to delve into a topic that hits close to home for many of us – the profound impact of losing friends at an early age and how it can cast a long shadow on the path of our lives. I’ll share the loss of 3 friends that had bright futures ahead of them, but tragedy wrote a different ending to their stories.Call to Action: If you or someone you know is struggling with the loss of a friend, remember you’re not alone. Reach out for support, whether it’s through a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor. Healing takes time, but sharing your story can be a powerful step towards finding peace.Do you have a story to share, a question, or a topic suggestion for a future episode? Email me at DancingWithDepression@yahoo.com.Dancing With Depression is part of QuietLoud Studios.A podcast network where reflection and voice come together.Learn more: https://quietloudstudios.com/Need assistance with your podcast? Connect with KazCM. They make content creation enjoyable and accessible.Learn more: https://kazcm.com/--More about this episode "Grief and Growth: Losing Friends Before 23 and Its Impact on Depression":I'm your host, Adam Turner, and today we're going to delve into a topic that hits close to home for many of us – the profound impact of losing friends at an early age and how it can cast a long shadow on the path of our lives.You see, life is a tapestry woven with threads of laughter, shared memories, and the bonds we build with the people around us. But sometimes, those threads are cut way too short, leaving us grappling with a sense of emptiness that lingers for years. That's exactly what happened to me. As I stand here at 47 years old, I can't help but look back and recognize the weight that these losses have had on my journey with depression.As sons of a Lay Rabbi, my brother & I were often called upon to funeral services that my dad would conduct. I wouldn’t be surprised if by the age of 17 my brother had been to a few dozen funerals, some for family while others were for people we didn’t know well. So I was very familiar with Jewish Funerals and the traditions that come along with it. What I WASN’T prepared for is when a High School classmate was killed in an auto-accident during our Senior Year. He was the Senior Class President, the multi-sport athlete and honestly just an all around nice guy! He lived just a block away so we would spend a lot of time together. We would play tennis baseball in his backyard, he taught me how to play table tennis (not good enough to beat him, but he taught me enough to play), a favorite was sledding down what then appeared to be a MONSTER hill…and when it was raining we would sit in front of the television and play MIKE TYSON’S KNOCKOUT on the Nintendo Entertainment System!!! It was October 30th and he was driving home after attending the schools Halloween Dance…he was dressed as Kenny Rogers “The Gambler” and he NAILED IT!!! I believe his date was dressed as Dolly Parton (but I wasn’t at the dance & my memory isn’t what it use to be). When I was told what happened, time just stood still…I didn’t know how to feel as this was someone that I spent time with, went to 12 years of school with & competed with on his team & against him…. My father consoled me…best he could – The next thing I remember was calling hours at one of the local funeral homes. We lived a block away and decided to walk. As we turned the corner towards the Funeral Home I remember thinking to myself…holy crap! There was a line down the street for a couple of blocks…all I could hear was crying as we approached to pay our respects. We finally made it into the doors of the Funeral Home, we saw his younger sister, older brother mother & father…and then I froze. I looked towards the casket as I had many times before at the funerals I attended, but NEVER in my life had I been to an open casket. My friend lying there & I see him! As we made our ways through the line I noticed his dad touching my friends shoulder before shaking everyones hand and thanking them for coming. Just as I heard on the way in the tears remained on our way out, but it was shortly after leaving the screams of terror from my brother that frightened me most…he also was traumatized after seeing the body of our once VIBRANT friend with nothing but a bright future ahead of him. I still think about him…and when I do I smile and sing “you’ve got to know when to hold em’, know when to fold em’, know when to walk away, know when to run, you never count your money when your sittin at the table, there’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done! Tim – was one of my three sophomore year roommates. Tim was quietly hilarious. In order to help pay for school, he would substitute teach at the local high school. Like me, he wasn’t a morning person, so when the call to substitute came in at 5:30 a.m. he had to evaluate how...
    Más Menos
    18 m
  • Childhood Under Siege: A 7-Year-Old's Memory of a Bomb Threat

    Childhood Under Siege: A 7-Year-Old's Memory of a Bomb Threat
    Jul 8 2024
    In today’s episode, we journey back to my childhood as I recount a traumatic experience involving a bomb. I explored the questions I didn’t ask as a 7-year-old but finally sought answers many years later. We’ll also look into the power of withholding judgment, a lesson that ultimately saved two teenagers from making a life-altering mistake.Got a story to share, a question, or a topic suggestion for a future episode? Reach out to me at DancingWithDepression@yahoo.com.Dancing With Depression is part of QuietLoud Studios. A podcast network where reflection and voice come together.Learn more: https://quietloudstudios.com/Need assistance with your podcast? Connect with KazCM. They make content creation enjoyable and accessible.Learn more: https://kazcm.com/--More about this episode "Childhood Under Siege: A 7-Year-Old's Memory of a Bomb Threat":Do you ever question where your depression comes from?I often wonder if it was my overall upbringing or if the situation could be the reason for years of depression. Seeing as how I’m NOT a doctor…I don’t know the answer to that question, but it has led me to think back on my childhood to see if I could identify a specific incident or a pattern of incidents that might have contributed to my current mental health.This one takes us back to the 80s when I was just a young boy. My brother, father & I were attending the High Holiday Services at my grandfather's Temple in West Hartford, CT. I won’t pretend to “love” spending 6 hours in prayer, but I loved being with my Poppa, Dad & brother. The morning was like many others: my brother & I fighting to wake up…we weren’t, & 40 years later, we still aren’t morning people! Yet we battled through our sleep deprivation and managed to get ourselves dressed. We arrived at the temple & proceeded to the front pew, where we sat with my Poppa. The service started as well as “The Countdown”…over the next 6 hours the question “How much longer before we can leave?” would be asked at least a ½ dozen times…c’mon we were 7 & 9 years old! For the most part things were normal, then one sentence later EVERYTHING changed. My dad leaned over to instruct my brother & I what to do should the door located directly in front of us open. I remember thinking to myself “that door leads outside?” – I always thought it was just a broom closet - My dad, in a calm but assertive tone, instructed us what we were to do should someone open that door…you are to both get on the ground and pretend to be dead. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, and went on with what I usually did – sit there and wonder when we were going to be done so we could go play with our cousins! The 6 hours had come & gone and we were headed back to my Nona & Poppa’s house where our cousins would join us…there would be basketball, swimming, food & most definitely laughter. However, on the ride home I did have a 7 years old curiosity moment & asked “Dad why did you tell us to lay on the ground & act dead should someone walk through the door at the front of the synogage?” It was as if he was waiting for the question all morning & had prepared what he was going to say. Yet it was so simple, “There was a bomb threat at the temple!” – That was it & for a 7 year old…that was all I needed at that time. As time went on I needed more of an understanding as to why someone would want to blow up a building with people in it…but I also had questions for my Dad:When did you know about the bomb threat? If you knew about the threat before we went, why would you take your children?Did MOM KNOW ABOUT THE POTENTIAL THREAT?Were you scared?Why would a bomb threat lead you to think there could be an active shooter?As I was reflecting back to that day, I noticed a pattern:- in the 6th grade kids didn’t want to be my friend because they were afraid they would be killed in the bomb attack- years later as we pulled up to the synagogue, we saw the building vandalized with swastikas. The vandals were identified, and my father was contacted by the police to determine if he was going to charge the 2 teenagers with a hate crime. When my father learned how the boys were identified & their age, he requested to meet with the boys 1st then make a decision if a hate crime charge should be filed. One of the boys had been having nightmares about the incident, & his mother “turned him in”! My father asked to meet the boys, at their house with their parents in attendance. My father asked the boys a few questions like “do you know what the swastika represents & why it is hurtful?” The boys looked confused and one finally mustered up the courage to speak – He said “Honestly I don’t know what it means…” My father, believing him, turned to me & asked me how I “FELT” when we pulled up to the synagogue and saw the swastikas on the building! I shared that I was terrified. My father asked ...
    Más Menos
    14 m